All Hail The New Constitution!

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It’s much easier than the old one, and much shorter, too, thus accommodating the abbreviated attention span of today’s rulers.

It’s also secret, of course, lest it confound millions of youngsters preparing for the AP Government test (now known as “Ancient American History 101″).

And it changes all the time. (Hey, just like the old one! There’s stare decisis for you!)

The new Constitution is the secret enemies list, dictated daily by the White House, of people “we” (ahem) can kill any time, anywhere. It supersedes all that old-fashioned stuff like law, morality, and liberty. This is a Constitution that will put people back to work — especially if you’re a good shot!

Are you on it? Don’t ask. If you do, you are.

5:48 am on October 1, 2011