A Brief on Boxer

Thanks to the deaths of Michael Ferguson, Eric Garner, and Tamir Rice, Americans increasingly understand that cops are sociopaths out to murder us.

Unfortunately, a few dimwits here and there still haven’t grasped this essential truth. We call them “senators.”

One such moron, the inimitable Barbara Boxer, is busily exploiting these tragedies for some personal publicity while exonerating Leviathan’s hired killers. These public slayers—sorry, servants aren’t trigger-happy; no, not at all. Their shooting of unarmed taxpayers and children arises not from relentless brutality but from mere mistakes, such as differentiating toy guns from real ones in Tamir Rice’s case.

I sympathize. You know, as a writer, I often can’t distinguish play typewriters from computers: I see the former in the nursery at church, and by gum, the impulse to pen my next magnum opus strikes; I push the tot already pounding the keys out of the way and plop myself down. I’m sure all of you suffer likewise, trying to tell toys from the “real” objects you encounter each day at work.

At any rate, Boxer’s boxers are in a wad: it seems someone, presumably the children who play with toy guns, is “removing” those “orange safety cap[s]” and “the legally required orange colored band[s]” that busybodies such as she require “fake” weapons to sport. What’s a cop to do when a child insists on veracity? We can’t expect him to withhold fire for a second or two while he reaches for the common sense he’s mislaid or, better yet, resign from such a thuggish and anti-Constitutional job, now, can we? Ergo, Ms. Shorts has written to the Consumer Product Safety Commission to “suggest” that it punish—sorry, protect the kids: she “propose[s] that you require all toy guns to have the entire exterior surface colored white, bright red, bright orange, bright yellow, bright green, bright pink, or bright purple.

If this idiocy prevails—and knowing bureaucrats, it will—, expect another “suggestion” in a year or two: all metallic paints must be registered and sold only with Our Rulers’ approval.

Update: Mark Higdon points out–

A mandate to paint toy guns some garish color? Box-brained, to be sure. Follow the criminal logic. Armed robbers, “active shooters” et al. malefactors who want to really succeed BIG TIME will first spray paint their real lethal weapons so as to disguise them from police and constitutionally-armed good citizens (well, maybe that trick won’t work with the latter). Bring on the casualties!

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1:44 pm on December 11, 2014