Is
Santa Running a Sweatshop?
by
Manuel Lora
by Manuel Lora
DIGG THIS
Recently, world-renowned
Christmas critic and occasional disruptor, The Grinch, has accused
Santa Claus of exploiting thousands of elves and mistreating animals
at Mr. Claus's secretive North Pole compound.
Earlier this
month, the Grinch, who normally commutes between his homes in Los
Angeles and Milan, embarked on a multi-city campaign accusing Santa
Claus of running a sweatshop. The charges have come as a shock to
millions of children and parents around the globe. Retails groups
have particularly been hit hard. A representative for Macy's who
wanted to remain anonymous expressed horror and disbelief. "In a
shaky economy, this is the last thing we needed!"
The Grinch
has made the following accusations:
- St. Nick
has for centuries been exploiting innumerable elves, keeping them
in inhuman conditions with little or no pay. The elves are worked
to death and complaints will get them expelled into the bitter
cold.
- Conditions
in the North Pole are brutal and the reindeer are not being kept
in adequate conditions.
- One reindeer
in particular has not received proper medical attention, and its
nose has developed a severe disorder causing it to bleed.
Milk &
Cookies Corp., Mr. Claus's company, has issued the following statement
which is reprinted here in its entirety:
NORTH
POLE, 25 DEC. 2007
The Milk
& Cookies Company has learned about the accusations made by
the execrable Grinch. Let a candid world know the truth.
First of
all, our factory conditions follow the highest industry standards,
and our safety record is exemplary. Over hundreds of years we
have continually improved work standards; we are a leader in high-quality,
high-volume manufacturing. Exploiting our workers would destroy
our good name and reputation. Further, it would lead to a dramatic
reduction in the quality and output of our employees.
To the charge
that the reindeer are exposed to terrible conditions, we say:
utter nonsense. The reindeer are arctic creatures that are able
to withstand the coldest of temperatures. Indeed, they thrive
when they're outside. Nonetheless, we still provide them with
spacious, heated stables and plenty of food. There is a veterinary
on our premises around the clock.
The Grinch
is being disingenuous when implying that one of the reindeer,
Rudolph, has a medical condition. Nothing could be further from
the truth. Though rare, his condition is genetic. Rudolph is perfectly
healthy. And no, he is not bleeding; his nose is just bright red.
It is the
opinion Mr. Claus and the board of directors of Milk & Cookies
that The Grinch is once again debunked as an anti-Christmas farce.
Incapable of understanding one iota about exchange, the market
economy and charity, he has resorted to lies and smears.
Our solid
traditions of high-quality craftsmanship, built over centuries
of innovation, demonstrate our commitment to the spirit of Christmas
and to our billions of satisfied customers. No amount of disparaging
comments, especially from The Grinch, can take that away.
 Mr.
Claus himself could not be reached for comment as the workload over
the last few days has kept him superbly busy. Mrs. Claus, however,
had a message: "You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch!"
One of our
journalists is reporting that Frosty had become so agitated and
worked up about The Grinch's declarations that he had began to melt.
He has been given a mild sedative and moved outside. He is expected
to fully recover.
December
24, 2007
Manuel
Lora [send him mail]
works at Cornell University as a TV and multimedia producer. Visit
his blog.
Copyright
© 2007 LewRockwell.com
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