Eater's
Guide to the Brazos Valley
by Joshua Katz
by
Joshua Katz
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Having
spent two years in the Brazos Valley region of Texas, I will soon
be returning to New York for the summer, and from there, onto parts
unknown, following a trail of twisted bodies and sick people – that
is, moving where I get the best job offer in EMS. It seems appropriate,
on this occasion, to write about the food of the Brazos Valley.
If you are coming here, what are the local favorites to enjoy? As
our culture grows increasingly Walmartized and suburbanized, local
foods remain one of the few elements of regionalism left. Texas
barbeque is still different from New Orleans barbeque, even if we
do shop at the same grocery stores now. One way to enjoy the local
flavor, then, is to do so literally.
As you know,
I advocate and eat a low-carb diet. Indeed, you’ll find that there
is a wide array of carnivorous delights available in the Brazos
Valley. However, there are many fantastic things to treat yourself
to as well. If you aren’t in desperate need of weight loss, and
will only be here for a short time, you might want to allow yourself
some room to cheat, and some room in your pants to grow, in order
to fully experience all that we have to offer.
Also, please
note that the Brazos Valley is home to the Texas Engineering Extension
Service, the applied engineering part of Texas A&M University,
which includes Brayton Fire Field, the largest and best known fire
training school in the country. Thus, in each category, I will label
one selection "Firemen’s Favorite." This indicates the
most popular destination for students at TEEX’s famous Recruit School,
a 13-week academy for entry-level firefighters from all over the
country. If anyone knows how to eat, it’s a fireman.
Barbeque
I once asked
a neighbor if he had met our new mutual neighbor, and what he was
like. The answer I got was that his brisket was a bit dry. This
is a common fact of life in Texas – you can judge a man by his barbeque.
When Texans talk about barbeque, they mean beef brisket, sausage,
and pork ribs, cooked low and slow, for a minimum of 12 hours, with
no sauce applied until ready to serve so that one "tastes the
meat, not the heat." This is a fantastic arrangement for low-carb
dieters, as the sauce is almost always served on the side in Texas.
- Martin’s
Place – Bryan, Texas. This is a true Texas landmark, same-family
owned since the 1920’s. When TV stations do shows featuring Texas-style
cooking, they go to Martin’s. If you’re used to big-city ways,
this place may make you feel a bit out of sorts, but go with it,
it’s worth it. If you are familiar with the legends, you’ll be
surprised by the undecorated exterior and small, almost cramped
interior. Take a seat, and the one waitress, naturally a family
member, will greet you by and by. The best thing here is the ribs,
but you’ll need to time your trip appropriately. Until 3PM or
so, the ribs will not be cooked enough to enjoy completely. After
6PM, the ribs are sold out. In between, though, I recommend a
pound or two of the best ribs in Texas.
- C&J’s
Market – College Station, Texas and Bryan, Texas. This small chain
serves a simple, unencumbered brand of barbeque that tends, unfortunately,
to be excessively salty. Come here for the jalapeno-cheese sausage.
- J-Cody’s
– Bryan, Texas. Firemen’s Favorite When a restaurant is
located next to an ambulance base (or at least used to be, until
the ambulance base moved) and is literally packed full, all the
time, of firemen, police officers, and EMS workers, the food will
rarely disappoint. Remember, emergency workers spend a great deal
of our time driving around, trying local restaurants. We know
what’s good, and J-Cody’s is. This is the only place where I will
eat smoked chicken, and the brisket is exceptional. I’m not all
that impressed with the ribs, but the true specialty here is ribeyes,
cooked on their mesquite grill. You order at the counter, and
receive a number, which will later direct a waiter to your table.
Dessert is not worth the effort here, though. If you’re in the
mood for some carbs, I recommend the cornbread and homemade white
bread, available next to the buffet bar. The creamed corn here
is famous, or at least deserves to be.
- Buppy’s
Buffet – College Station, Texas. No matter how many times you
are warned not to, you will try this place for lunch. Since you’ll
go, drawn by the $5 all-you-can-eat bbq, I beg you to please go
on a Thursday. The brisket is edible, but barely, and the sausage
is not. However, Thursday is the day that a passable chicken fried
steak is included on the buffet, which makes it worth the price.
Steaks and
Chicken Fried Steaks
- Sodalak’s
Original Country Inn – Snook, Texas. Firemen’s Favorite
This restaurant is known around the world for having the fattiest
specialty dish – chicken fried bacon. This is fatty bacon, breaded
in a mixture of pork fat and breading, fried in bacon drippings,
and served with a heaping bowl of cream gravy. I am not aware
of any graduating class at TEEX that didn’t pronounce it their
favorite dish. Steaks here are always moist and tender, and seasoned
nicely with garlic and pepper. The small sirloin hangs off the
edges of the plate, so you can imagine what the large looks like.
I recommend the sirloin or porterhouse.
- Sodalak’s
Beefmasters – Bryan, Texas. Apparently, having one exceptional
location wasn’t enough, so they decided a second, mediocre location
was needed too. Yet Beefmasters always has a wait and at the Original
Country Inn you’ll have a waitress to yourself. Go figure, then
go to Snook.
- Czech-Tex
Steakhouse – Snook, Texas. The steaks here are carefully seasoned
and well-aged, then cut paper-thin and grilled, in order to remove
all taste and texture. Good barbeque, though.
- Longhorn
Tavern – Bryan, Texas. Truly a bizarre concept – a Longhorn-friendly
restaurant deep in Aggie country. They are forgiven, though, by
virtue of perhaps the world’s greatest Chicken Fried Steak. They
have raised this food to a work of art, and this is the place
to go for the definitive version of this Texas favorite. The small
is quite small, and the large is exceptionally large. Go for the
large. Don’t let them fool you – Aggies go here, although they
will swear up and down that they don’t. Look around and notice
all the masks and paper bags being worn.
Donuts
- Shipley’s
– Bryan, Texas and College Station, Texas. Firemen’s Favorite
Certainly not a low-carb destination, this is certainly the most
popular old-fashioned donut shop in the Brazos Valley. Go on a
Sunday and you’ll find dozens of families eating their post-church
meal here. Go any other day and you’ll find a collection of retired
men, meeting daily over fritters and coffee to chew the fat (and,
I suppose, the sugar.)
- Daylight
Donuts – College Station, Texas. Another name for this place is
"the other donut place." I have never eaten a donut
here, but I’m told they are excessively sweet beyond all bounds
of propriety. The staff is friendly, and will patiently explain
the intricacies of the donut selection, though. This might be
a good place to go if you prefer to eat your donuts without a
crowd, but I’m told that the raised donut here is not a good choice.
Ice Cream
Surprisingly,
ice cream in the Brazos Valley is dominated by chains, particularly
Marble Slab and Cold Stone. Of course, a large market share is taken
up by Dairy Queen, the original Texas ice cream. However:
- Shakes –
College Station, Texas. This is a way upscale Dairy Queen, only
much better and without any of the other stuff. The only product
available here is called a Cement, which is the same as a Blizzard,
only higher quality and you can’t turn it upside down. Highly,
highly recommended.
Kolaches
These are a
Brazos Valley specialty, and people will travel from miles around
to buy them. I have no idea why. Cut one down the side and you have
an inferior sandwich, usually made with a salty Vienna sausage and
fake cheese. Whoopty-doo.
Chinese
Go to New York.
Delis
Yes, they have
things here called delis. You want a deli, go to Brooklyn. Same
for bagels and pizza.
Mexican
- Freebird’s
World Burrito – College Station, Texas and Bryan, Texas. Firemen’s
Favorite This might just be the best burrito in the world.
Offering the half bird, freebird, monster, and super-monster,
be aware that the monster is the most burrito per dollar. They
offer a wide variety of flavored shells and high-quality, fresh
ingredients. You can watch them grill the steak and chicken right
in front of you. Make sure to get your card stamped for your 11th
burrito free.
- Taqueria
Arandas – Bryan, Texas. They have pictures of goats on the sign.
They have goats inside. They also have the best breakfast tacos
ever made.
- Mi Cocina
– Bryan, Texas. Best quesadillas and enchiladas in the state.
Also a very good place for corn chips, which are free.
- Casa Del
Sol – Bryan, Texas. Everything is fantastic.
- Any scary-looking
Mexican restaurant – if it’s dirty and raunchy looking, the food
is great. Carry a gun and enjoy.
Beverages
- Shiner.
Duh. Shiner Bock is the standard, Shiner Hefeweitzen for special
occasions. Who needs anything else? Oh yea, there’s water too.
Raw Milk
- Check on
the Weston Price website. Raw cow and goat milks are readily available
here. I get mine from Water Oaks Farms in Bryan, which offers
delivery and, if you’re a regular customer, exchangeable glass
bottles. Very nice folks, very good milk. If you haven’t had raw
milk, your trip to the Brazos Valley is the perfect time to try
some. They also sell Brazos Supreme Ice Cream, made with raw goat
milk. If you aren’t aware of the health benefits, do some reading.
Start with Mercola.com, the Weston
Price website, or asking Gary North why he’s alive.
Coronary
Care Center
- St. Joseph’s
Regional Health Center – Bryan, Texas.
Bariatric
Surgery
- The Physician’s
Center – College Station, Texas.
 March
24, 2007
Joshua
Katz [send him mail] was
Chief of EMS at the Town of Hempstead Park and Recreation for the
past three summers. He has studied philosophy of mind, logic, and
epistemology of economics from an Austrian perspective, and is a
former graduate student in philosophy at Texas A&M, as well as holding
a bachelor's degree in mathematics. He is presently tutoring and
volunteering, as well as reading voluminously, while waiting for
Texas bureaucrats to renew his EMS certification. He enjoys a glass
of port and a wedge of Brie as a way to safeguard his health, lest
he need treatment by a doctor.
Copyright
© 2007 LewRockwell.com
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