Volkert is Innocent

Well, well, well. Saw the profile of Pim Fortuyn’s alleged assassin? If anyone has an iron-clad alibi it’s this Volkert van der Graaf, guy. Obviously he couldn’t help himself. His brain chemistry was hopelessly scrambled. It finally shorted out – "crashed," if you prefer.

But watch, his lawyers will botch it. In other famous murder cases, PMS, cold medicine and anti-depressants have all been blamed for the murder, instead of the murderer. Vitamin B-12 deficiency has not. The PC establishment would never allow such heresy.

And why? Because Vitamin B-12 is only available in meat. Pim’s alleged killer is a "vegan," which is to a vegetarian what I am to a hunter: the most blindly fanatical, passionate and unyielding of the lot – the purist. They compare to mainstream vegetarians like I compare to mainstream anti-communists. They’re a rabid sub-species; the craziest, most pig-headed and spittle-spewing of the genus.

"Vegans" crusade not only against eating meat itself, but against the consumption of dairy products. So while vegetarians suffer from a Vitamin B-12 deficiency, these "vegans" are totally starved of one of the most essential elements to a properly functioning central nervous system. According to the Andrews University Nutrition Council (themselves vegetarians who take it in pill form), a vitamin B-12 deficiency leads to a range of serious psychiatric disorders. These include, "disorientation, depression, mood disturbances, irritability, memory loss, and dementia....Vitamin B12 deficiency is fairly common in the elderly and is associated with dementia and other neurological disorders seen in the geriatric population.... Vitamin B-12 is essential for the development of red blood cells and it plays an important role in the normal function of the nervous system."

According to Dr Joseph Mercola of the Optimal Wellness Center (often linked on this site): "The first manifestation of vitamin B-12 deficiency is usually mental disturbances. These range from abnormal mood swings, mental slowness through hallucinations and depression to severe psychosis."

And according to the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition: "Serious brain damage is seen in children on macrobiotic diets....Vitamin B-12 deficiency can have psychological consequences that also raise legitimate concerns about neurological development."

Whoo! Just think what a Johnnie Cochran or Al Dershowitz could do with that! They could throw in Hitler and Charles Manson as earlier victims of this dietary deficiency. They could point to the group recently branded by the FBI as America’s most violent domestic terrorist organization, the Earth Liberation Front – vegetarians all.

I know I know, we’ve all seen these reports that claim vegetarians have lower incidence of cancer and heart disease than meat-eaters. Problem is, vegetarians tend to be young females. So they take a group of them, compare them to meat-eaters, and whaddaya know! 19-year-old girls have a lower incidence of heart attacks than 72-year-old men who smoke!

Fact is, when you compare apples with apples – say the wholly carnivorous Masai of Kenya, with the primarily vegetarian Kikuyu of Kenya (who gave us the murderous Mau-Mau rampage), vegetarians come out consistently as shorter-lived, more disease-prone and MUCH ornerier.

...Ever notice vegan Chrissie Hynde’s chronic scowl? I haven’t seen Brigette Bardot smile much lately either, not since she became a vegetarian. Is that a coincidence? Is it a coincidence that the perpetually smiling Britney Spears flipped off PETA? I think not.

It’s also comforting to remember that a nation of almost one billion such chronic PMSers presently rattles nuclear weapons over Kashmir. Recall that the Hindu religion prescribes vegetarianism. But you can’t fool mother nature. Cellulose makes up the walls of all plant cells. The human digestive system cannot break it down. We break down raw meat in two hours flat.

Talk about "natural" food! That’s meat. Most plants are an unnatural food for humans, not just hard to digest but toxic. Plants can’t run from predators like deer, rabbits, gazelles and wild swine. So like Disco babes tottering on huge platform shoes they had to find means of repelling predators while standing still. The Disco babes evolved a series of facial contortions that expressed extreme disgust or actual poisoning when asked to dance.

Plants, on the other hand, built up toxins for actually gagging or poisoning their attackers. And these you can’t wash off, like Alar (which was a bogus toxin anyway).

Forget the PC icon, Mohandas Gandhi. He was apparently sincere. Study Hindu history as a whole. Peaceful my ass. In one year after the Brits left in 47, they slaughtered ten times as many of their "brothers" as the famously carnivorous Brits killed during the entire 350-year Raj. The infamous Amritsar massacre of 1919 saw British troops kill 379 Indian protestors. Over one million Indians died in a few months after the Brits washed their hands of the sub-continent in August 1947. And unlike the Holocaust where a relative few participated in the mass murder, this was mass butchery in India. Everyone tried to get a hand in. This from the same people who refuse to swat a mosquito.

Nehru described independence as the moment "when an age ends, and the soul of a nation, long suppressed, finds utterance."

Well put. The crack is almost sufficient to forgive Nehru his famous fashion statement. Besides that, southern Indians (the vegetarian part) are the shortest-lived people on the face of the earth.

Lord Mountbatten and Clement Atlee fell for it. But a few saw through the sub-continent’s phony-baloney. I think of sharpers like Keith Richards and Ringo Starr. "Bah HumBug!" these two snorted at bandmates John, Paul, George and Mick who were making pilgrimages to the Maharishi at the time, and taking up the Sitar.

"Ya’ll have fun!" Keith and Ringo waved. "Think we’ll stick it out here in London. Don’t worry 'bout us! We’ll try to get by somehow with the booze, dope and groupies! We’ll make do with roast beef over shredded alfalfa. We prefer paisley wallpaper to cow dung, however sacred. We’ll brace ourselves, grit our teeth and chug champagne instead of our own urine....Ya’ll go ahead and strive for nirvana in the company of a bearded old hustler in a malodorous nightgown. We’ll try for it right here with a few go-go girls!....Have fun mates!"

Keith took one look at a Sitar and shuddered. Too many damn frets! And no distortion! They’ll hear every note I miss! Ringo saw those drum things called "tablas" and freaked. Where’s the snare and cymbals?

They call Ringo the "luckiest man in the world." Hah! That’s what the botched, lazy and resentful always say. We saw it in Cuba. They always blame success and riches on "luck." Ringo saw the ring of Fortuna come by in 1962 and lunged for it. He grabbed it with white knuckles and never let go. No investor can do better. That’s spunk, for ya.

Anyway, no, the media isn’t going out of their way to play up Van Der Graaf’s animal rightist background. Can you imagine if he’d been a big-game hunter?! Think they might have broadcast that detail a little louder? Think that might have gotten a little more airplay? They’d be clubbing us over the head with it day and night, ramming it down our throats non-stop, NPR, MTV, Frontline, 60 minutes – the whole bit.

Humberto Fontova [send him mail] holds an M.A. in History from Tulane University. He’s the author of Helldiver’s Rodeo described as "Highly entertaining!" by Publisher’s Weekly, as "Terrific!" by Salon.com, and as "Just what the doctor ordered!" by Ted Nugent.