I have a dream. My dream does not involve exalting a multicultural America or striving for racial harmony and universal equality.
Instead, I dream that one day I will be able to say "Drats!" to all the bloody PC hounds and speak my mind freely, without compromising to the various societal Thought Patrols invading my life. I dream that I will no longer have to check my opinions at some censorship door, making sure that somebody's sensitivity meter won't be set off. And I dream that there will be no PC reverberation forthcoming from my honest and truthful actions that others deem politically incorrect.
However politically incorrect others may judge me matters not. What is important is that I'm free to say what I mean.
I want to be free to say that the Ad Council commercial that was launched following the September 11th terrorist act is multicultural bilge. The commercial represents a stream of colorful, multi-ethnic faces — red, black, yellow, brown, Jewish, female, and then a white face or two — spouting the unwavering "I am an American". This is the typical diversity utterance, and don't I dare question it in my politically incorrect manner, according to the Though Patrols. I not only question it, but I also despise the message.
As a politically incorrect American, I note that every city, every town, and every county has a whole host of Martin Luther King Boulevards. One Boulevard in each city named after MLK appears to be necessary but not sufficient. It is PC to appease the 13% black population with endless affirmation of black history. The joke is: PASSENGER: "Turn left on MLK Boulevard." DRIVER: "OK, but which MLK Boulevard?"
I like John Rocker, and how evil that must be. Not only was he a heck of a ballplayer before his verbal claim to fame, but he also gave us a great and truthful rundown of why one doesn't want to ride the No. 7 train in New York. Then there's the basketball genius Bobby Knight, a guy whom others detest. He doesn't act like the politically correct culture expects him to act, so therefore, he's a societal misfit and he's deemed worthy of outcast status, according to the PC'ers. I especially look forward to the upcoming season and following Knight at Texas Tech.
I'm the kind of un-PC gal that would like to roll over Ed Begley, Jr. in one of his tiny electric-powered cars with my massive SUV. That'll teach him to preach his socialist religion to the rest of us. I dream of being free to say that I favor trucks, SUVs, and other big cars over these roller-skate compacts the PC police would have us drive.
When Nancy Kerrigan got whacked in the leg by a Tanya Harding hitman, she emitted a strange series of sounds — Whyyyyyyyy? - that I mimic to this day, because it makes people laugh. It's politically incorrect to laugh, however, if the laughing involves making fun of even a temporary misfortune of another.
I cheer for David Horowitz on the reparations issue, and I cannot believe that others could even make this topic a serious point of discussion. I once wrote my own very un-PC opinion on reparations, and the PC Peoples were appalled.
I am dumbfounded by the anti-gun PC'ers who consistently deny the right to bear arms and defend oneself. In fact, I'm so politically incorrect on the gun issue that I think I should be able to carry a fully automatic machine gun in my car, into my place of work, or elsewhere when the owner of private property may allow it. This will produce a wide range of "You lunatic!" hurlings from the Left. Nonetheless, it's a basic belief for me. The PC anti-gunners never produce any logical arguments; only emotional rants based on fuzzy catchwords like children, societal harm, dangerous, and, did I say children?
I have never hunted but I am profoundly pro-hunting. I don't smoke, but I dare the anti-smoking Nazis to tell me I can't.
I think that daycare stinks and that pesticides are heroic. Daycare has a great potential for destroying children's lives, while pesticides, DDT included, improve all of our lives. I make a point of watering my lawn on days when the mandatory watering bans are in effect; I do it as a statement against the wasteful public ownership of water and other utilities. Favoring privatization is as un-PC as it gets. Even my neighbors must not be very politically correct because, so far, no one has tattled on me for violating the watering ban every summer.
When the local governments declare "Ozone Action Days", they mean to say that the very hot and humid weather is not conducive to any form of production or motorization. They ask us to refrain from cutting our grass or using any mechanized lawn equipment; they tell us to carpool; and, they say, don't even fill your gas tanks because the gas fumes are not productive to the ozone layer. The sad thing is, people buy this propaganda. It's a time to cut my lawn and fill my tank, as planned.
I detest the government-mandated, handicapped parking spots that flood the parking lots of my favorite shopping places. These spots are not designated by the owner of the property, but by government, based on some numbers-crunching formula on how many handicapped people might be parking there at any given time. I feel morally obligated to park in those spots. Besides, it's not just for the handicapped or injured anymore. Handicapped now includes over-55 and healthy or 30-years-old and obese. One local supermarket now designates a few of the good spaces for pregnant women. This is a nice touch because it's a decision made by the property owners based on an assessment of their customer base.
It's not PC to say that decades of U.S. interventionist foreign policy has brought terrorism upon our citizens, and most recently, on our own soil. It's not PC to oppose a full-scale war to prop up our military empire. It's not PC to be anti-statist in a time when we are supposed to be waving our American flags, singing God Bless America, and "coming together" in the name of nationalist unity — all part of a propagandist's dream. For that reason, anti-government dissenters are most un-PC right now.
Political correctness is a disease of the Left. It is a disease that imbues the mind with a sense of culpability toward those who need propping up by those enjoying some variety of physical or mental abundance. It is a disease that has invaded the mainstream's catalog of rhetoric, replacing proper irreverence and nuances with inapplicable language deconstructions that suit the fragile types.
I refuse to submit to any mind-numbing attempt at linguistic fascism. I call fat people fat, stupid people stupid, and ugly people ugly. A pejorative is sometimes necessary to convey the facts. And when I speak of achievement, I don't mention equality as being a substantial factor. I don't even think about it. Plus, I stand opposed to the propaganda spewed by my government, and so I fail to heed the indoctrination. I stand opposed to the general masses in most opinions on otherwise PC subjects, and that's good enough for me.
However, my dream is a long way from happening.
October 9, 2001
Karen De Coster, CPA, [send her mail] is a freelance writer and graduate student in economics, and works as a business consultant in the Midwest.
Copyright © 2001 Karen De Coster