by Karen De Coster

A husband, as it is plainly spelled out in the Bible, has certain duties bestowed upon him in regards to his devotion to the institution of marriage.

When a man takes a woman for his wife, he is to care for her, sacrifice for her, and cherish her in all respects. In the biblical family, the husband is the head of his wife and home, just as Christ is the head of His church. This involves, among other things, indulging in this extraordinary conduct known as chivalry, as illustrated by LRC's Dr. Brad Edmonds. Chivalry is reinforced by the virtues of courage and strength – the courage to raise a family and provide for them, and the strength of leadership in maintaining family ties, affection, and marital partnership.

Is there anything wrong with this philosophy? In spite of the fact that these notions defy all current feminist logic, there is nothing wrong with it at all. It is the natural course of life chosen by God for man on earth; a marriage of equals based on love and trust with the man taking the role as head of household and taking on the burdens of support – both emotional and financial. In the context of the modern household, that may mean that a husband gives up the new car for his wife, while he drives the eight-year-old Camry with 124,000 miles on the odometer. Or it may mean he make the stressful calls to the obnoxious bill collector, to spare his wife the burden.

Nowadays, such "old-fashioned" behavior – as it's typically referred to – is practically shunned, and even denounced. For instance, a group that currently takes a lot of flak for such beliefs is the Promise Keepers organization. This group of Christian men has the purpose of uniting together men of all religious denominations in a supportive, pro-Christian environment dedicated toward honoring Jesus Christ; honoring women and family in the tradition of biblical values; supporting each man's church and its tenets; and practicing spiritual, moral, ethical, and sexual purity.

The Promise Keepers have always been committed to bringing men together in various rallies across the country to listen to speeches, pray, and share in the joy of just being men. However, the media attack is always the same: since they are men (and predominately white, as well) and proud of it, and Christian, and since they are organized, they must therefore be evil, homophobic, sexist and generally, they must be guys with bad intentions. The NOW gang – and their assorted feminist counterparts – foam at the mouth at the mere mention of the Promise Keepers and its mission.

However, the fact that men want to do better in life is a good thing! Most people who hold classical values do realize that times have changed, and that some of the changes in overall value systems are not so good. Unfortunately, the last couple of generations have seen a feminist push toward equality and the dumbing down of our boys in the public education system. "Raise 'em like girls", they say, and "Don't let him run your life", and all will be good-and-well. In the present age, men are denounced harshly for exhibiting robust strengths and patriarchal tendencies.

This is nonsense, of course. This feminization of society has resulted in the breakdown of traditional male-female relations; men aren't sure what they're supposed to do or how they're supposed to act anymore. Do women want a Venus or a Mars? Do they want strength or sensitivity? Realize that men have a proclivity for leading and/or advising. It's no great secret why men, and not women, are more inclined to be CEOs and highly-charged business managers. And no, it's not because of the "glass ceiling".

All said, women are equal to men. However, it doesn't take a supercharged career or university programs in women's studies to prove that. It takes a man and a woman, committed to one another, and entrusted with each other's best interests. That's another way of saying that it takes two individuals to coalesce a relationship, not some "village" as in HillarySpeak.

After all, why not let a man order for you in a restaurant or choose your wine from the wine list? Do women ever stop to think that a man may be doing that by way of affection and respect rather than out of crude dominance? Yes, a woman can be a CPA or a Doctor and be taken care of by an affectionate and responsible man in the biblical sense.

Whether in marriage or in a committed relationship, the same basic tenets may apply. Women don't have to plan corporate mergers or dominate their men in order to assert equality. In addition, allowing the man to assume his proper place in the household does not have to mean domination and total authority. It means allowing a man to be a man, and thereupon, honoring his place in your life.

August 24, 2001

Karen De Coster, CPA, [send her mail] is a freelance writer and graduate student in economics, and works as a business consultant in the Midwest.

Copyright © 2001 Karen De Coster

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