Kissinger Associates Client List
by
Richard Cummings
MEMORANDUM:
From:
Lawrence Eagleberger, Senior Associate, Kissinger Associates
To: Henry
Kissinger, CEO, Kissinger Associates
Subject:
Client List
Dear
Henry:
As
per your request, I am providing you with a current client list,
FYI. I strongly urge you not to disclose this list, whatever the
consequences to your objectives in the public sector to serve as
Inspector General of the American intelligence apparatus, which,
as you are aware, has consistently promoted our business interests
around the world and which remains, under various guises, one of
our most lucrative clients:
-
Osama bin
Laden – Investment opportunities in Israel.
-
The Carlyle
Group – How to use the CIA by providing it with cover globally.
-
The Government
of North Korea – Nuclear power as the road to energy independence.
-
The Government
of Russia – Investment opportunities in North Korea.
-
The Government
of Colombia – Promotion of morphine as an alternative to
heroin production.
-
The CIA
– How to employ Kissinger Associates as a cover for covert
operations globally.
-
Saddam
Hussein – Opportunities for residential concealment of
defense operations against Iranian attack.
-
The Government
of Iran – The use of oil revenues to create a deterrent
against an Iraqi attack.
-
The Government
of China – Methods of providing campaign contributions
to the Bush for President campaign.
-
George
Steinbrenner – Recruitment of Kosovar outfielders capable
of doubling as assassins of Serbian outfielders recruited by
the Boston Red Sox.
-
Barbara
Streisand – Opportunities for translating greatest hits
into Pashtun.
-
Rashid
Dasdun – Methods of obtaining information from suspected
Taliban and Al Queda not permitted in the United States. Courses
to be taught at the International Law Enforcement Academy in
Bangkok (Teaching materials provided by Kissinger Associates).
-
Bernard
Lewis – Worldwide promoting of "What Went Wrong"
in Moslem countries, so they can learn how to be slavish, sycophantic
admirers of Bernard Lewis.
-
The Kingdom
of Saudi Arabia – Investment opportunities in Cuba.
-
Fidel Castro
– How to get Cuban cigars past Customs into America (Customs
officials learn to smoke them and enjoy them).
-
The Rockettes
– Appropriate methods of performing in Moslem countries,
excluding belly dancing.
-
The Israeli
National Soccer Team – How to beat Brazil (Personally taught
by Henry Kissinger)
-
William
Safire – How to be sufficiently unctuous to Henry Kissinger.
-
Bob Woodward
– How to reveal a sufficiently small amount of the truth
to conceal a bigger lie (French to English translation of Roland
Barthes provided).
-
The Government
of Indonesia – How to run amok when necessary to increase
U.S. aid and to get the IMF to forgive debt.
-
The International
Monetary Fund – How to wreck the world’s economy, so Kissinger
Associates can consult with Alan Greenspan on how to straighten
things out).
-
The World
Bank – How to make incongruous loans to bankrupt countries
so Kissinger Associates can advise them how to avoid repayment.
This
list is not comprehensive, but should be sufficient to make it self-evident
that public service is not in the cards at this time.
L.E.
December
21, 2002
Richard
Cummings [send
him mail] taught international law at the Haile Selassie
I University and before that, was Attorney-Advisor with the Office
of General Counsel of the Near East South Asia region of U.S.A.I.D,
where he was responsible for the legal work pertaining to the aid
program in Israel, Jordan, Pakistan and Afghanistan. He is the author
of a new novel, The
Immortalists, as well as
The Pied Piper – Allard K. Lowenstein and the Liberal Dream,
and the comedy, Soccer Moms From Hell. He
holds a Ph.D. in Social and Political Sciences from Cambridge University
and is a member of the Association of Former Intelligence Officers.
Copyright
© 2002 LewRockwell.com
Richard
Cummings Archives
|
