The Department of Gomer Pyle
by Don Cooper
by
Don Cooper
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Hole
I was an average
high school student. I had to attend summer school between my junior
and senior years just to graduate with my class and even then, on
graduation night, I wasn’t sure there’d
be a diploma waiting for me. I was always more interested in playing
ball and chasing girls. I was more successful at the former than
the latter.
After graduation
I did manage to earn an athletic scholarship to play baseball at
a small Florida college but after two years of playing ball, and
earning less than one year’s worth of college
credit, I realized I was wasting my time as well as the college’s
resources and decided I needed to do something else until I figured
out what I wanted to do.
So, being
the son of a 20-year retired Air Force Tech Sergeant, I joined the
military. I spoke to all the branches and in the end it was the
Navy that won me over for a six-year enlistment. They enticed me
with visions of advanced electronics training, fantastic marketability
in the civilian world and a chance to see the world. Remember the
old Navy slogan: “It’s
not just a job, it’s an adventure.”
Oh boy!
From the moment
I arrived in Orlando, Florida for my basic training I realized what
a joke it was. If you want to know what military basic training
is like just watch any episode of Gomer Pyle, it’s
exactly like that. Just as ridiculous.
The military
always advertises that it wants the best and the brightest, but
the first thing they do is try to break you down and then reprogram
you. They want to reprogram you into a person that will follow orders
without question; something tantamount to a frontal lobotomy that
leaves subjects unable to think for themselves. Well then why do
they need the best and the brightest if they are not meant to think
for themselves? Given the chaos of battle, to strive to have a force
that is not expected to think for themselves is not only ridiculous
but dangerous as well yet the military, under the guise of the Uniform
Code of Military Justice (UCMJ), regularly prosecutes soldiers who
had the courage, intellect and wisdom to do what needed to be done
in the field to preserve lives even though they weren’t
told to do it. That’s called “disobeying
a direct order” from some arrogant, bonehead
hundreds or thousands of miles away.
One is taught
that there is a right way and a wrong way to do things and the military
will teach you the right way. Anyone not doing things the right
way then is to be looked upon with contempt and suspicion. The military
teaches you how to micromanage life, as if they know how to do this,
to the point that you find yourself counting brush strokes when
you brush your teeth. Every move is to have purpose and be approved
or else you will be prosecuted by the UCMJ.
The military,
see, is a complete subculture within America. All soldiers are considered
to be government property, no kidding, and there exist regulations
in the UCMJ that can mean loss of pay, confinement, and even jail
time if that government property is damaged somehow or if it doesn’t
do what it is told to do. Again, even though the government says
it wants the best and the brightest, if the sidewalks outside are
icy during the winter soldiers are not allowed out for fear of them
falling and injuring themselves. As ridiculous and asinine as that
sounds it is fact; I lived it. So the broken logic is that we want
the best to go fight in foreign lands and kill people and operate
multi-million dollar equipment but we don’t
trust them to walk down an icy sidewalk without hurting themselves
like thousands of civilians do daily in the wintertime.
It’s
an abusive subculture that demands abject subjectivity and a complete
lack of reason, logic and intellect. The military trains people
to be killers; puts those people in a war zone where at any moment,
at any second their lives could be over and then prosecutes them
if they don’t kill someone in accordance
with the “rules of engagement.”
That is to say: even though you are in a war zone there are rules
to killing people and it doesn’t matter that
a month earlier you were teaching 8th-grade history and your national
guard unit got called to battle in Iraq. You need to pull that trigger
and end another human life but only after that person clearly tries
to kill you or else you can be prosecuted under the UCMJ for murder.
I’ll let you marinate on that thought for
a second.
I’ve
never killed anyone but I don’t think you
have to in order to imagine what that could do to a rational person’s
psyche. I would imagine you would have to put yourself into a mental
state that disassociates what you’ve always
known to be reality and convince yourself that somehow what you
are doing is right; that if you don’t kill
that other guy, he will kill you, so you pull the trigger.
Then these
poor souls come home and are expected to re-associate their minds
with the reality of a civilized society because if they don’t
then they will be prosecuted under the UCMJ for insubordination
or worse: they might kill someone. The whole thing is a study in
mind control conducted by the least-educated people in our society.
It still amazes
me how parents brag about their children serving in the military
in Afghanistan or Iraq. They talk about how some Arabs dropped planes
on their heads on 9/11/01 so they are all for going over there and
killing as many of those sons-a-bitches as possible and damn proud
that their children are helping make the world a safer place. Who’s
going to help the make the world a safer place from America?
November
23, 2009
Don Cooper
[send him mail] is a Florida
native, Navy veteran, economist, and editor of the daily non-partisan
column Qaoss.com.
Copyright
© 2009 by LewRockwell.com. Permission to reprint in whole or in
part is gladly granted, provided full credit is given.
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