Pretzel' Attacks Bush
has learned, from sources high up in the FBI, that last
week's "accident" involving President Bush and a pretzel
was very likely no accident at all.
source informed us that President Bush's seemingly innocent incident
with an errant snack food, where he apparently choked on a "pretzel,"
may actually have been the latest strike from Osama bin Laden and
his Al Queda terrorist network.
the incident, the pretzel in question was transported to FBI headquarters,
where crime lab technicians were able to determine that the pretzel
had been baked as a falafel, and had become "twisted"
due to Islamo-Fascist influences. In addition, the so-called "pretzel"
may have been staying illegally in the United States, on a fake
the choking incident, Vice President Cheney was apparently rushed
to yet another undisclosed location -- one free of all snack foods.
Senator Tom Daschle called for a bailout of the ailing snack food
industry, saying, "It's not the fault of honest American manufacturers
that certain foreign elements have wreaked havoc with American's
love of salt and crunchy carbohydrates."
the assets of the leading pretzel manufacturers have been frozen,
and air strikes on America's pretzel capital, Bluffton, Indiana, are in the works.
Callahan [send him mail]
has just finished a book, Economics for Real People, to
be published this year by the Ludwig
von Mises Institute. Stu Morgenstern [send
him mail] was a frequent contributor to Slick Times,
until the presence of his articles drove the magazine out of business.
© 2002, Gene
and Stu Morgenstern
Callahan/Stu Morgenstern Archives
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