Gathers Out-of-Work Pols for a New World Order
Gorbachev wants Malcolm Fraser to help him save the world, or
at least help him figure out how to run it.
When the former Soviet leader decided to set up a World Governance
Forum, the former Australian prime minister was among the
world figures he invited to join him. Other invitees included
Barbara Streisand and rumored new beau, baseball legend Yogi Berra.
A Gorbachev aide said there had been a positive response by telephone
from Mr. Fraser, but he had been unable to attend the forum's
inaugural meeting at the Home for Retired Socialists in Slovakia
last week, due to a coarsened bladder. Mr. Berra was able to attend,
but, puzzled by the word inaugural, returned to his home without
having gotten past Newark Airport.
Mr. Gorbachev told the meeting that after World War I the League
of Nations had been established, and after World War II,
the United Nations. With a track record of successes like those,
he anticipates that new structures will be needed to govern
globalization, and that a group of experienced world visionaries
with some free time on their hands would be needed to run these
The protests of the "people of Seattle" confirmed his
analysis and inspired him to action, he said at the meeting. Later,
he and former US presidential candidate George McGovern headed
to downtown Bratislava to overturn the only car and smash the
single store window in the business district.
Mr. Gorbachev said in a press conference later that day that his
forum would be kind of like a political version of the annual
World Economic Forum in Davos, which meets each year to
plan the extraction of more money from the middle class.
Those present with Gorbachev included the former Polish leader
General Wojcsiechewski Jarsuzndelski and the former Italian
Prime Minister Guido Spumoni.
"We're not returned [failed] soldiers," Spumoni said,
"but experienced politicians who realize [realize]
existing international institutions simply cannot handle new problems
Representatives of the Italian and European parliaments attended,
and Mr. Gorbachev announced support from figures such as
Posh Spice, the former Eurobabe, "Super" Mario Soares,
former Portuguese president, and Marc Rich, the former fugitive
George McGovern, who is the US ambassador to the UN Food and
Agriculture Organization, described the forum as an "enormously
important step forward in the history of the world, much
like my presidential campaign." He added that Mr Gorbachev
is one of the four greatest 20th-century politicians, along with
Bella Abzug, Thomas
Eagleton, and George McGovern.
Scouts Create New Merit Badges in Response to Increasing Pressure
week, after months of flak for their failure to allow gay scoutmasters,
The Boy Scouts of America announced a new line of merit badges.
For those interested in earning these badges, the Scouts have established
Scouts," which will operate as a "phalanx" of the
This phalanx will supervise the awarding of merit badges in such
diverse subjects as interior decorating, fashion design, accessorizing,
and Liza Minnelli studies. The new uniforms will be designed by
Tom Ford and will feature an off the shoulder look inspired by the
film Gladiator. Gone will be the traditional olive drab scout
uniforms. Instead, there will be a sparkling phantasmagoria of colors
and fabrics reminiscent of Elton John's stage attire.
Good citizenship will continue to be taught by the new scouting
phalanx, although with an increased emphasis on tidiness and grooming.
A major thrust toward extended, remote camping trips is expected,
accompanied by individual, expert instruction in a bewildering variety
Sacrifices to Help Fight Inflation
to worries that too much growth in the US economy might ignite
inflation, Gene Callahan announced this week that he will help
fight that economic scourge by cutting back his work schedule
from five days a week to three. Said Callahan:
"Alan Greenspan is like a brother to me a fact to
which Kevin Duffy can testify and I want to do everything
I can to lend AG a hand."
Callahan mentioned that he was also inspired by his partner, Stu
Morgenstern (that's writing partner, okay Mr. Jackson!), who is
a long-time inflation fighter and has been steadfastly battling
growth in the economy for the last several decades.
Callahan also indicated that he intended to start his three young
children on cigarettes soon, in order to restrain their growth
Callahan is working on a book, Economics for Real People,
and Stu Morgenstern is contributing editor at The
© 2001, Gene
Callahan/Stu Morgenstern Archives