Real Junk MailThroughout our nation people find this thing and quickly throw it away. It is a kind of vermin that infests our mailboxes. Hopping one will never see it again, one throws it away just as one tries to dump out trash or squish a roach. But, like the latter, it is highly resistant and won't go away. The reason it won't go away is that we pay and pay to produce more of this trash. Recently, despite my best efforts, it turned up again in my mailbox. Let me describe an example of this detritus: A pamphlet containing a staged photo of a young man in front of the U.S. Capitol. He is my congressman. His congressional colleagues appear to be hanging on his every word (Actually most of them are likely bored out of their minds waiting for their chance to pose for the cameras so each one of them can pretend to be a master of the universe with his constituents). My congressman is handsome. Someone might mistake him for an underweight rock star. He is adorable. His hair is blow-dried. He is not likely to show up at the local barbershop, ask about the Mets and order the $6 special. He obviously has had his hair styled at a pricey place where there are lots of fellows who only use one name. The words scream out at the reader: "Congressman Anthony D. Weiner. 2001-The Year in Review. Facing the Challenges to Our Nation and Finding Solutions for Brooklyn and Queens." Thus begins the periodic "newsletter" from my Congressman, a young God communicating with the benighted citizens of his district. Rep. Anthony D. Weiner (D-NY). The moniker just doesn't seem appropriate. I will always think of our Boy Socrates as "Slick." I call and ask about postal basura that I end up entrusting to my cats. "The Congressman merely uses these letters to communicate with his constituents. We're trying to keep them informed," the aide says when I ask about the purpose of these newsletters and how much the taxpayers shell out for these wonders of self-promotion. If I have a complaint or if I want to know how much is spent on these "newsletters," well then she has a phone number of a commission set up by Congress to monitor these franking monstrosities. Fine. I called. How much money is spent on these "newsletters?" Actually, it's not easy to decipher, says a congressional staffer who works for the Congressional Commission on Franking. He doesn't want to be quoted by name. Members of the House each receive a $1 million annual allowance for staff and offices. A large part of that can be spent on franking and no one seems to be too picky about the amounts, the staffer says. "How much each member spends on these newsletters is difficult to say," the unidentified Congressional staffer says. In other words, "There is no congressional oversight on this," says Ed Sepp, a staffer with the National Taxpayers Union (NTU) in Alexandria, Virginia. "Congress won't change this. Only public exposure and outrage will change anything," he adds. It is Sepp who notes the uselessness of this so-called watchdog franking commission: "No citizen can file a complaint with this commission about franking by a member of Congress. You can file a complaint if you're running for Congress. However, most people don't run for Congress so it's not worth much," Sepp says. (Oh, no, Mr. Sepp, I think! You're being cynical. I have nothing better to do than run for Congress. As a middle-class person here in the Rancid Apple, I never have to worry about costly things like taxes. All middle class people here have plenty of time and would love to run against someone like Weiner, who has hundreds of thousands of dollars to spend in this safe Democratic district. In almost 13 years of living here in central Queens, I have yet to see or actually hear of a Republican candidate running for Congress in this district. This is a district in which Jesus Christ, if he ran on the Republican line, would be badly beaten in a race with my beloved Slick or Chuckles the Clown if he had the Democratic line.) Congress's leadership, obviously, doesn't want to discuss this unpleasant subject called newsletters, but the NTU estimates that the average member of the House and Senate spends about $50,000 a year on franking, which comes to about a $25 million bill for the taxpayers. But aren't there any limitations on what these pols can put in these "newsletters"? They are very few. These missives from our hired help on the Potomac cannot be blatantly political. They cannot directly criticize the opposition, a kind of honor among thieves clause that different bands of marauding pirate pols try to live by. They nevertheless can contain as much as eight references to the member of Congress on each page, according to the Congressional staffer, who tried his best to explain how this nonsense works. This staffer concedes that newsletters are used by members of both parties to promote themselves and that they are a weapon that incumbents use to build up their power. One Republican member of Congress once spent $70,000 of taxpayer money on radio ads telling citizens of his district how much he cared for them and asking them to come to his town meetings. The staffer added that Congressman Weiner is especially good at promoting himself. No one would debate that. "Congressman Anthony D. Weiner. 2001 in Congress: A Year of Accomplishments," the newsletter screams. There follows a summary of each month of Weiner's godlike work in 2001. In each month, the word Weiner is highlighted. That's just in case someone is suddenly struck with a case of amnesia or doesn't have perfect eyesight or is a heathen like me and doesn't realize that the Blessed Trinity's Holy Ghost will soon be shown the door to make room for the Blessed Weiner. Despite what I am told, the name of great man is mentioned 19 times in one page. And what was the great one doing in January? "Congressman Weiner embarks on an official" (Hey, wake up, readers, this is big stuff!) "program to replace tattered and missing flags throughout our neighborhoods. Libraries, veterans posts and schools get new flags after years without." And for this magnificent feat, a feat that will surely make Weiner of the greats of Congress, one of Weiner's flunkies writes that the New York Post raves that our Solon has become one of its "Stars of the coming Century." Indeed, as I walk around my district, whenever I see a new American flag, I genuflect, look to the heavens and thank the Gods for giving us this Boy Wonder who deigns to serve mere mortals, the pot bellied Babbitts of central Queens (yours truly). In the spring, our Apollo was working. "May saw $425,000 in federal funds delivered to Kingsborough Community College by Rep. Weiner so that the college could install hi-tech smart blackboards that allow for distance learning and multimedia classroom lectures." (I know I'm being picky because I helped to pay some hyena to write that drivel, but could someone tell me how the month of May "saw" something?). "Weiner also called for a rent freeze for apartment dwellers this month." Oh, great, more builders who will want to leave New York because they can't obtain the rents they need to pay the outrageous taxes of New York City. Great move by Slick. It couldn't have anything to do with the fact that there are far more renters than owners, could it? And the low academic standards of the City University System? No word of this is ever is mentioned in Weiner's happy talk newsletters. By the way, when is the wily Weiner proposing a "freeze" on congressional salaries? In the summer, while presumably mere mortals are on vacation, the newsletter informs us that Slick was still working hard. "The dog days of August didn't slow down Rep. Weiner as he worked" (While others loafed?) "to bring $28 million in Magnet school funding to Districts 15, 20 and 21 in Brooklyn and District 27 and 28 in Queens." Well, now maybe the Congressman can explain why tens of thousands of New York City school kids – despite all the pork he brought home – can't read at their grade level. And maybe he can explain why so many New York City high school graduates are functional illiterates. Maybe he can explain how the policy of social promotion was ever hatched. I'll be looking for these subjects in future newsletters at the same time I'll be looking for UFOs in Forest Park. Even the captions of this Weiner for sainthood society disguised as a newsletter can be compelling. A few years ago, one of his newsletters announced that, yes, even you, average citizen, will be given the chance to speak about one of the Congressman's meetings. Wow! "At Rep. Weiner's town hall meetings, he gives citizens a chance to offer their ideas for federal laws," the newsletter reads. (Really? When I attended one of these pep rallies disguised as "a town hall" and suggested that the government consider partial privatization of Social Security the Congressman wasn't interested in offering my "ideas for federal laws." He also insisted that payroll taxes are "only" 7.65 percent, conveniently forgetting to mention that our employers pay another 7.65 percent on our behalf. That's unless, of course, one is an independent contractor and then one sees exactly what payroll taxes are: They're very expensive. They are a de facto second income tax. They are higher than the income tax for many people, but why mention these unpleasant numbers when the Blessed Weiner, our Lord and Savior, is taking care of us?). Why do members of Congress even have town meetings and self-promoting newsletters anymore? Most Americans no longer vote. I'll bet most people throw out this trash. (I, being an idealistic fellow, hold on to all of these informative (sic) communications because one never knows when one is going to run out of kitty litter). It seems apparent that most people have tuned out these useless legislative George Washington Plunkitts. And why, for that matter, are pols also allowed to use their offices to run for higher office at taxpayer expense? (Rep. Weiner's predecessor and mentor, Senator Charles Schumer, used his position as a Congressman to run for senator. He stayed right on the House payroll while campaigning for higher office, the same as thousands of other useless pols of both major parties who use public office as a stepping stone to bigger and better things. The bottom line of all this waste of taxpayer funds is succinctly stated in the only truthful thing in the entire Weiner newsletter: "The mailing was prepared, published, and mailed at taxpayer expense," which, I guess, is better than the lying tube ads for the military-industrial complex ("Paid for by the U.S. Army." Don't the taxpayers pay for the U.S. Army?). Or as one of the conspirators who plotted to restore republican government to Rome in the play "Julius Caesar" said: "The fault, dear Brutus, lies not in our stars. But in ourselves. That we are underlings." When do the underlings say basta ya? When do the taxpayers stop paying for the garbage? When do Americans reclaim their heritage of liberty and throw off the chains of thousands of Weiners? Why is excessive taxation and waste acceptable when it is imposed by American pols as opposed to a ruling class of foreigners? Garbage is garbage. It's all the same to my cats. God bless them. April 11, 2002 Gregory Bresiger, [send him mail] a business writer and editor, lives in Kew Gardens, New York. He has written for LewRockwell.com, Mises.org and The Journal of Libertarian Studies. He is presently working on a paper on the foreign policy of Woodrow Wilson. Copyright 2002 LewRockwell.com |