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'How
Many Drachma Do I Get for a Reagan?'
by
Burton S. Blumert
by Burton S. Blumert
Please
don’t tell me this government doesn’t know how to bury a President.
There
are critics who contend that Reagan’s eight-day, bi-coastal journey
to the next world, never came close to the medieval pageantry practiced
by our British brethren when they crown a King, for example.
For
all their pomp, though, the Brits know it’s pure "show biz."
Simply Shakespearean theatre. Nobody’s sacrificing their life for
the new king, nor are they promoting a Crusade to smash the infidel.
(Such assignments are reserved for George W’s partner-in-crime,
Tony Blair.)
The
Reagan Event was more than a Hollywood epic: it was pure nationalism,
elevating a B-grade movie actor into a mythological being, noble,
kind, humorous, tough, principled and God-fearing, a giant worthy
of supreme power. He could fight you "tooth and nail,"
but he was never mean-spirited.
He
was a god and everyman at the same time.
Hundreds
of political hacks, all wearing $3,000 suits, trudged from one TV
camera to another giving testament to the great man and telling
their favorite "Dutch" anecdote.
I
was getting groggy, but I think I heard the following. If so, it
deserves the "Windbag Prize":
"Ron
and myself were sitting alone talking about matters of state when
Gorby entered the room and his fly was unzipped. We were on the
brink of WWIII, but Ron said something so funny that Gorby nearly
fell to the floor laughing, and the crisis passed."
The
days droned on, and the incessant stream of testimonials never seemed
to end. All the while, the main theme was jack-hammered home: Great
men of power are ecumenical. They cut across party lines: Reagan.
FDR. Lincoln.
Even
die-hard California Democrats who still gag when they see Bonzo
the chimp in late night movies, bought the package and now, like
sleepwalkers, have come to terms with Reagan’s surpassing greatness.
Or at least they did for the eight days.
Things
have quieted down. It’s Sunday and the clean-up crews are sweeping
up the confetti. My regular soap, pre-empted the entire week, returns
on Monday. Thank the Lord.
It’s
as if we’ve been on holiday, and now we’re back to life’s banalities.
Back
to those two bloody wars.
Back
to watching Americans stumble through minefields, blindly following
George W’s leadership.
Back
to politics as usual and the tedious presidential campaign.
Come
to think of it, it wasn’t really a holiday for the rest of us. This
epic Reagan event was contrived to allow the state’s present administration,
its camp followers and the media (if there’s a difference) to sort
out the lies and deceit.
Ronald
Reagan suffered two deaths, the first with the coming of his dementia.
The second gave "Them" the opportunity to place him in
the pantheon of state religion, and—
It
provided the much-needed "breathing space" as indicated
above.
But
wait… while we were all teary-eyed and ecumenical, a seething power
struggle was being fought out of camera range. The Reagan Loyalists,
not satisfied with a federal airport carrying the great man’s name,
now required his imprint on the money.
The
"Ronald Reagan Legacy Project" (there really is such a
group) began its efforts years ago. In addition to a government
Reagan memorial in every county in the United States, they favor
a Reagan $10 bill, replacing Alexander Hamilton, who was not even
a president, they argue.
Others,
proud to compare Ronnie with FDR, feel he should supplant that great
welfare-warfare president whose face has dominated the dime for
almost six decades. Rumor has it that Nancy, outraged at the thought
of "Ronnie’s" likeness on small change, torpedoed the
plan.
Mitch
McConnell (R-KY), number two man in the federal senate, is pushing
for the Reagan $10. Not to be outdone, "former libertarian,"
Dana Rohrabacher (R-CA) is doubling the ante by proposing a Reagan
$20 bill.
Congressman
Jeff Miller (R-FL) is the Reagan 50-cent piece "point man."
He wants to eliminate JFK’s countenance from the half dollar and
substitute Reagan’s image
(There
are still customers at my coin company, who, when buying US silver
half dollars, insist that 1964 Kennedy halves be EXCLUDED from their
order.)
I
suspect that the $10 Reagan will prevail, with one of those prettified
(or is that deified) portraits that now adorn the fiat dollar in
the various denominations.
All
of this reminds me of my father Max’s strong views about retaining
the "dollar" as the name of our currency. He felt it was
a mistake.
For
those who have not suffered amnesia of the monetary past, the US
dollar once had terrific buying power, thanks to gold and silver
and carried a worldwide prestige unlike the current buck.
Retaining
the name of something that no longer exists leads to confusion.
Other countries think nothing of knocking off zeros and renaming
their currency.
"Let’s
call it a ‘Schmollar,’" Max used to say.
Well,
here’s my plan: Let’s eliminate the word, "dollar," no
longer defined as a weight of precious metal and, in its place,
substitute "Reagan." This will silence the combatants
vying for their favorite place for Reagan’s face.
Ronnie
will be on every denomination of coin and currency.
It
won’t take us long to get accustomed to hearing the following while
people exchange currency or make change:
"How
many drachma to the Reagan?"
"Can
you give me two Reagan tens for a twenty?"
"I
need three 25-cent Reagans for the meter. Can you break a Reagan
buck?"
"I’ll
bet you a 5 Reagan that George W wins the election."
Who
knows, the "Reagan" might circulate for eternity.
Fortunately,
to quote a former, prescient French finance minister, "eternity
in monetary affairs is of short duration."
June
14, 2004
Burt
Blumert [send him mail]
is publisher of LewRockwell.com,
president of the Center
for Libertarian Studies,
and proprietor of Camino
Coin. See Burt's
Gold Page.
Copyright
© 2004 LewRockwell.com
Burton
S. Blumert Archives
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