Close EncounterSan
Francisco Set To Add Sex Change Benefits "Thanks for calling the San Francisco Health Services System. This is Damien and our motto is: ‘We can make a BIG change in you.’" "Hello, Damien. I’m Burt Blumert from LewRockwell.com. I’m considering doing a story about San Francisco’s plan to provide sex change benefits, and the Chronicle advised that you were the fellow, excuse me, uh, the person to contact." "The last caller said he was from the New York Times but he didn’t fool me a bit and his sex change surgery is scheduled for next Thursday." "There will be no surgery on this dude, buster. I’m simply reporting to our readers and frankly, Damien, you don’t really want to know what they think of your San Francisco lifestyle, and this latest perversion." "You can cut out the pretense. You’re either a cross-dresser, a transvestite, or a transsexual, and it’s your civil right to have the City pay for your sex change operation." "This is ridiculous. I’m not calling to arrange for a sex change operation." "Ah ha. I finally understand. It’s not you. You’re calling in behalf of your domestic partner." (Blumert indignant) "Please leave my wife out of this." "Wife? Wife?" (Damien hissing). "This is San Francisco. What kind of a weirdo are you?" "Weirdo? We are taxpayers, that’s who we are. I don’t want to finance changing Jack into Jill." (Blumert obviously pleased with his snappy retort) "Jack and Jill? What are you, from Utah? It would only cost $37,000 to turn Jack into Jill, and $77,000 to go the other way." (Blumert curious): "Why would it cost almost double from Jill to Jack than from Jack to Jill?" (delivered in a compelling rap beat) (Damien, exasperated) "If not Utah, you must be from Idaho. Let me explain. In the first instance, the surgeon removes..." "STOP (Blumert turning a shade of green). I withdraw the question." "It sounds to me as though you may still be in the closet, and I can’t give you any more time as there are needy people on 'hold.' By the way, where ARE you from?" "Not from Utah or Idaho. I live right here in the San Francisco Bay Area. Can I ask one more question?" "Yeah." (Damien suspiciously). "My doctor advises me I may require gall bladder surgery. Do you suppose there’s enough money left in the program to help me out?" "Homophobe!" (Damien hangs up) February 20, 2000 Burt Blumert is owner of Camino Coins, president of the Center for Libertarian Studies, and publisher of LewRockwell.com. © 2001 LewRockwell.com |