Eric Margolis writes to Fred Reed:

When confronting crowds of heavily-armed, angry tribesmen, I have often found that, `Salaam, my brothers,  please to lower your lovely weapons.  I write for Lew Rockwell.com!' always works and gets me lots of kisses and hugs from burly, bearded tribesmen.

UPDATE from Butler Shaffer:

I wonder what kind of response these words would evoke if I uttered them to a police officer where I live.