For the last several years, I got hundreds of e-mails accusing me of being purely partisan in my criticisms of the Bush administration. "You never attacked Clinton," I was told dozens of times. Readers accused me of being a socialist and a Democratic agent.

Well, Obama's the president now, and so now I must come out of the closet: I was a left-liberal all along! I can't wait until he nationalizes what's left of the free market, enacts true socialism, and wages wars worldwide all in the name of liberal interventionism. Hope has come to America! All hail President Barack Obama!

Just kidding.