Prof. Shaffer, what in the heck have I done that you'd wish such a fate on me as Secretary of Transportation? Good gracious, I'd have to live in that sewer on the Potomac with sociopaths of every stripe; I'd catch a bad case of cooties when I met with Big Sister at the DHS and her henchman, John "The Pervert" Pistole, to close down their fiefdoms, too (so what if I don't have the authority to do so? When has that ever stopped anyone in DC?); I'd go nuts hunting a copy of the Constitution, given its banishment from those precincts two centuries ago.
So no thanks — unless I can take hogsheads of whole-body sanitizer with me and you, dear sir, become Secretary of Education.