In one of the local free rags, Sara Pomish has a fun piece on food snobbery. Of course, I count myself to be one, but only partially, for I have a deep love for certain things lowbrow, such as the Waffle House, Americana greasy spoons (diners), and certain items on sale at Kohl's. But, that aside, here's Sara's rant:
Over a recent holiday weekend, during a visit with my family in Philadelphia, we debated restaurant options for that evening's dinner. During the course of the discussion, I made the mistake of casting aspersions upon one of my sister's suggestions - The Olive Garden. I was summarily accused of being a snob. This accusation is, of course, patently false. I am not just a snob, I am a food snob - and proud of it.
A snob is someone who won't eat at Olive Garden because it's inexpensive. On the contrary, I don't eat at Olive Garden because overcooked pasta drowning in over-salted sauce - all with unlimited breadsticks and bottomless iceberg lettuce salad - just ain't my thing.
On the other hand, a restaurant the caliber of Tribute in Farmington Hills - or Philadelphia's Morimoto - would appeal to me even if it were to run corny commercials on cable TV and featured bottomless bowls of truffled foie gras or endless plates of tuna sashimi for $10. (I can't, in reality, even park my car in front of Morimoto for $10, but that's another story.)
The symptoms of food snobbery are many and varied. They include, but are not limited to:
* Refusing to shop at Farmer Jack or Kroger for anything but paper towels and cleaning products
* Carrying a purse-size peppermill or keeping a sea salt grinder and peppermill in your desk drawer at work. (Yes, I freely admit to doing both.)
* Having at least four types of salt in your pantry: kosher, sea (coarse and fine) and tea-smoked Celtic salt, to name a fewThese symptoms vary from one afflicted individual to another, however, some common symptoms include an aversion to any and all of the following (with apologies to a few members of my immediate family):
* Iceberg lettuce
* Margarine, "light" butter, I Can't Believe It's Not Butter, "spray butter," or any derivation thereof
* Garlic salt
* Parmesan "cheese" in a green can
* Mashed potatoes from a box
* Pasteurized, processed "cheese food"
* Fruit cocktail (it is barely fruit, and definitely not a cocktail)
* Any "recipe" that calls for canned cream of mushroom soup and/or French fried onions
* Any "salad" whose primary ingredients include marshmallows and/or Jell-OI also have issues with Cool Whip, Miracle Whip, any salad dressing made by Kraft or Wish-Bone, and pre-packaged lunchmeat. (Then there's white zinfandel "wine" and "light" beer ... but we can save those for the "beverage snob" discussion.)
As far as I know, there's no "cure" for food snobbery. No 12-step meetings to attend. But they say the first step toward solving a problem is admitting you have one.
Hi, I'm Sara, and I'm a food snob. (And I'm darned proud of it.)
Although she's right about the Olive Garden - in a hilarious sense - I tend to like OG! Great pasta pomodoro. But yeah, kinda cheesy. I don't go to OG unless someone else drags me there. I'd say when I do, it's a financial decision. I also have an aversion to iceberg lettuce, that is, as the staple of a salad. A non-food snob friend of mine said, upon eating a real salad (spring mix, radicchio, etc.), "if I had wanted to eat weeds, I could'a gotten this crap from my garden." She thought iceberg was the cat's meow because she had never had a real salad.
Parmesan in a green can? Hmmm. Only when necessary. But fresh parmesan usually dovetails quickly into "fresh green parmesan," meaning that it doesn't stay fresh long. Processed cheese food horrifies me. Same for salads with anything that doesn't belong in a salad. Desert items don't belong in a salad. White zin wine? Don't get me started on that. God help us if anyone believes that is wine. How about the awful dips that people always make for parties/gatherings? Don't they all include mushroom soup?
What baffles me is simpletons that refuse to eat anything ethnic. They eat American staples only. A big stretch for them is ordering a Greek salad at National Coney Island. They usually stick to hamburgers, spaghetti, soup in a can, and pizza. Their big night out is at the local brew pub, ordering an "Italian" dish. I live in an area of top-notch urban and ethnic cuisine, so I can't imagine life without eating Middle Eastern, Greek, Indian, Mexican (real Mexican, not the Americanized Mexican variety), Ethiopian, Polish, Cuban, and soul food.
My all-time favorite is Middle Eastern food. I had a glorious lunch at Detroit's finest the other day: La Shish. Their Shawarma salads are definitely not simpleton salads. Their baba ghannooj and ghallaba are the best ever.
Another thing that cracks me up is the strange fettish that folks have for awful beer. Bud Light in the fridge should be a warning to us all. It usually sits right next to the canned parmesan cheese. Another strange habit is the preoccupation with frozen meals as opposed to freshly-made meals. Laziness is a major player in that food crime.
I admit to a decent level of food snobbery. But hey - who can afford to be a full-time food snob?
Just don't be dissing the great Waffle House.
