The Government Is Our Friend!

by Bill Barnwell
by Bill Barnwell

There is a common myth that most Americans don’t trust their government. Indeed, most Americans talk like they don’t trust or like their government. It is fashionable to bash politicians, complain about taxes, and question the honesty of our rulers and masters in Washington and our respective state capitals. But do people’s attitudes and actions line up with their words? I argue that they absolutely do not. While most people regularly complain about government and authority, when it comes down to it, they believe that government is really our friend and can do great things to advance human civilization, if only it is run by the right people.

First let us examine the Left. They clearly and obviously have much hope and faith in government. Where most on the Left err is their incredibly ignorant view of economic theory. According to the average liberal voter it is the government’s responsibility to provide universal health care coverage, pay for an individual’s education from elementary school all the way through college, create all sorts of other free hand-out programs and enact a multitude of other fiscal schemes where the wealth of individuals is redistributed amongst the masses. When I pointed out to one friend of mine during a debate that the money didn’t exist to create her statist utopia she wildly exclaimed, "Well then why can’t they just print more money?!" What else does the Left believe?

"Well, we definitely believe that the government is our friend and our last best hope for making the world a better place. Where all this money is actually supposed to come from to pay for all these massive entitlements and government programs is pretty clear. Aside from taxing to death those evil, undeserving rich people, we also know that the government has tons and tons of reservoirs of cash lying around just waiting to be spent at an opportune time. The Democrats want to spend this money to help people; but those mean Republicans want to just give more of it to the rich people who already have it! Most importantly, all of this money was just magically created, or at the very least rightfully taken from the people who have a whole lot. Therefore the government has the means and obligation to intervene in every area of our lives. They should pay for our child care, and better yet, tell us how to raise our kids. They should pay for all of our schooling, all of our health costs, all of our retirement, all of our…forget it, let’s just say that they should pay for just about everything important and be involved in every significant area of our lives. That’s because they are our friend and they can help us.

"At the present time, we are born again peaceniks. Four years ago we were singing a different tune though. Then we were praising the government’s ability to 'end hate' in Kosovo by blowing up Serbia and killing tons of Orthodox Christian people to make the world safe for the KLA. The government can and should be used to build nations and impose our way of life on foreign countries, so long as if it is being led by a Democratic President. When a Democratic President bombed Iraq for eight straight years it was OK. When the current Republican picked up where the Democrat left of, it suddenly became fascism. Either way, the government is our buddy, and can be the buddy of foreign countries if they just let us show them how to run their governments and show all the races how to live in love and harmony. If they don’t, we will use guns and bombs to settle ethnic and racial disputes. Sometimes love must be tough, but hey, that’s what friends are for."

Then there is the Right who traditionally line up with the Republicans. They really like to bash the government a lot more than the Left does. In fact, many right-wing politicians center their campaigns to shrink the size of government. Conservative action groups hold rallies and events to decry the size and influence of government and the masses in attendance cheer. But don’t be deceived, they too love the government. They just want to make sure they are running it. The government is only bad and inefficient when the other side is running it. What exactly does the contemporary Right believe about the government?

"Sure, the Left has crazy ideas about all those massive entitlement programs and the unrealistic prospect of paying for them. But our entitlements are just a little bit smaller and don’t cost quite as much! We’ll only spend 400 billion on the new Medicare bill instead of the amount the silly Ted Kennedy wants to spend (And if any of our congressmen oppose the bill and stick to conservative principal, we’ll threaten them with retribution!). And hey, those nasty liberals want to take a ton of your income through taxes. We just want a lot of it! That way we can involve the government in every area of your life, just not as much as the other side would like to (Even though our current guy has grown government at a pace not seen since Lyndon Johnson)! We are obligated to maintain costly and inefficient entitlements created by liberals and act like there are no alternatives. At least if you’re going to talk about cutting taxes, then for heaven’s sake shift that financial burdens onto foreign products through tariffs. That will still give us the same or even more revenue! Don’t fight with us about this, it’s good for you. Don’t you see silly, the government is our friend! Just make sure we are running it!

"Forget Marx, that man was a fool. We have John Maynard Keynes! Don’t get us started on those crazy paleo-libertarians and people who think Mises knew more about economics than Keynes. We know we talk about government inefficiency, but come on, those guys are extremists. I mean, they actually are sincere in their faith in the free-market and the potential of free and innovative people to do a better job managing their lives than the government can. They actually do want to transfer power and responsibility from the government to the people. That sounds good and all, but you can’t win elections talking like that. They act like government is NOT our friend, and that is not cool! You hear me, not cool! Therefore, we will make fun of them in all of our magazines for all their insanely consistent views while we continue to grow the size of the government we supposedly don’t like.

"When it comes to foreign policy, the government is not just our friend; it is more like a Big Brother and Supreme Mentor to not only us, but to the rest of the world. To live up to the standards of being the Supreme Mentor we have to make sure we spend a whole lot of money on our military machine, even though it’s already way bigger than everyone else’s. Government spending on the military is the best kind of government there is. When we talk about cutting government (even though we are just kinda kidding) we dare not suggest that we cut the size of the military. No siree.

"Our friends in the party who took over in the 70’s taught us that we must be the Supreme Mentor to every nation in the world that does not conform to our standards. We were glad to conveniently capitalize off of 9/11 to go to war with Iraq. OK, so we told a few fibs and stretched the truth a little bit, but the world is much better off after our invasion. If we are really lucky, we can also use the same kind of lame excuses to invade Syria and Iran next! Maybe even Saudi Arabia! That’s if those pesky isolationists and born-again peaceniks stop trying to make us look bad. The world needs us to be the global John Wayne and Supreme Mentor to global humanity, so please continue in your woefully ignorant and uneducated view of foreign relations, sociology and the destructive effects of warfare.

"Don’t you dare suggest that Richard Pearle and Paul Wolfowitz have anything other than completely pure intentions in their desire to remake the world in our neo-con image. They are doing this to protect you and me and stop the spread of terrorism and weapons of mass destruction that we haven’t yet found and probably don’t exist. Speaking of terrorism, it’s great that we have our new war on terrorism. Since the war won’t be over until the terrorists are gone, and the terrorists will always be here, we can always be at war! And don’t you dare question us, if you do, that means you’re with the terrorists! You are with us or them! Questioning our policy, even out of love for your country and the desire to see human life preserved means you are with the terrorists! If you don’t like it, then let’s get it on! Move out of the country you ungrateful treasonous lover of non-violence! See how you like it somewhere else! Until that time, shut up and let us do our job of being the Supreme Mentor to the world. It’s in everyone’s best interest. That’s because the government is not only our friend, but the friend to the whole world!"

Ok, back to reality. While caricatures, this sadly represents what a lot of people on the Left and Right actually believe. There is much more we could delve into. The unending faith in the terrible and costly "war on drugs," the unfailing trust in the government school system, the bizarre belief that nothing has official and legitimate sanction unless it’s blessed by the government (It’s the government document, not God and the church, which blesses and legitimizes a marriage between two people and makes it official and holy. It’s the government "certification" which makes you qualified for your job, not your actual knowledge or skills). The average American can act like they don’t like or trust the government all they want, but their actions show that when push comes to shove, they love Leviathan and treat anyone who talks about true reform (not the phony GOP brand) as a heretic or a fool.

Will people wake up anytime soon? Hopefully, but it doesn’t appear to be very forthcoming. Every election cycle, people get mobilized and geared up to "take back their country." The means of doing that is always tied to a politician, a political cause or some other sort of big government reform. People will continually act like they don’t like the size of government, don’t trust politicians, and want to restore values and power to their community, but they still can’t get out of this mindset that nothing can be accomplished aside from with the help of the state. So expect more of the same drivel from both sides in the upcoming Presidential election and expect the masses to continually support and encourage politicians in their deceit, looting, and false hope. And always remember, the government is our friend!

December 12, 2003

Bill Barnwell [send him mail] is a pastor in Swartz Creek, Michigan and a Master’s of ministry student at Bethel College.

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