Articles by Tom Chartier

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I Was a TSA Porn Star

Not exactly my plan, says Tom Chartier.

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10/20/2009

Hey, Dude President

Tom Chartier has a towering suggestion for you.

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10/16/2009

Taliban in Cahoots With Drug Lords!

Um, not quite.

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8/11/2009

The Solution to Global Warming

Tom Chartier on swine flu.

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5/2/2009

A Job for the Somali Pirates

Let them hijack the "toxic assets," says Tom Chartier.

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4/13/2009

My Blackwater T-Shirt

It's worth a bundle, says Tom Chartier.

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2/20/2009

Dub, Old Buddy

Say it isn't so.

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1/19/2009

Rejoice in the Depression

It was long past time to cut back, says Tom Chartier.

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1/7/2009

The Shoes of Freedom

Toss them!

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12/17/2008

What To Get Lew for Christmas

A gift list from Tom Chartier.

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12/12/2008

Bad Mojo

For Sarkozy.

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12/1/2008

Get Out Your Wheelbarrow

Tom Chartier on Weimar USA.

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11/28/2008

I’m a Baad Libertarian

Tom Chartier is sorry.

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11/26/2008

Farewell, Charley

Tom Chartier on the retirement of the great columnist.

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9/1/2008

PNAC Goes AWOL

Tom Chartier on the axette of evil.

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8/18/2008

Al-Sadr’s Hole Card

Tom Chartier on the key guy in Iraq.

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8/11/2008

Trouble in Israel?

Olmert may be replaced by more of a warmonger.

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7/31/2008

Change vs. Victory

Tom Chartier on the race to be dictator.

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7/2/2008

The TSA Peep Show

Tom Chartier on government "security" and your naked body.

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6/16/2008

A McCain Father’s Day

Gifts in honor of the warmonger.

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6/14/2008

How To Spend Your Summer Vacation

Tom Chartier on what to do if you're a plebe.

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5/31/2008

Rock ‘n Roll Fantasy Camp?

Make that R 'n R reality camp, says Tom Chartier.

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5/23/2008

Six Blue Iguanas

Their death, and immigration.

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5/10/2008

A Monument to Stupidity and Worse

Tom Chartier on Mt. Rushmore.

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5/6/2008

Understanding Islam

And the tragedy of ignorance.

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4/15/2008

Lending a Helping Claw

Uncle Sam and Iraq vets.

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4/15/2008

McCain Overdoses

On McCainovision. Article by Tom Chartier and Elizabeth Gyllensvard.

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4/3/2008

Kiss Your 2nd Amendment Goodbye

Tom Chartier and Elizabeth Gyllensvard on neocon schemes.

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3/26/2008

All That Warrantless Wiretapping

Tom Chartier and Elizabeth Gyllensvard on pols and hookers.

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3/18/2008

How To Vote Responsibly

A guide for the confused, by Tom Chartier and Elizabeth Gyllensvard.

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3/4/2008

Pusillanimous Pols

Or are the Dems getting better on impeachment? Article by Tom Chartier and Elizabeth Gyllensvard.

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2/26/2008

Hooray for Stalinist America

Where Bush sings, Under My Thumb. Article by Tom Chartier and Elizabeth Gyllensvard.

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2/7/2008

Disposing of Unwanted Dictators

Tom Chartier and Elizabeth Gyllensvard have some advice for the US.

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1/31/2008

Confessions of a Middle-Aged Punk

To play rock, you have to know the blues. Article by Tom Chartier and Elizabeth Gyllensvard.

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1/16/2008

Dear Mitt

We're all disgusted, says Tom Chartier.

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1/3/2008

Give Them a Stupidity Quotient Test

Tom Chartier on the politicians.

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12/11/2007

Dear Rudy

What's all this about a "virtual fence"? Tom Chartier wants to know.

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11/26/2007

Are Your ‘Elected Officials’ Defective?

Tom Chartier on what to do about it.

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11/19/2007

Is Your Child’s Backpack Heavy Enough?

Tom Chartier on homework.

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11/10/2007

Federal Disaster Aid

It's always a disaster, says Tom Chartier.

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10/30/2007

What a Bunch of Idiots

Tom Chartier on our "elected" officials.

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9/29/2007

Whoops! How Did Those Nukes Get There?

Tom Chartier on the best and the brightest.

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9/15/2007

Hooked on Chaos

Tom Chartier on his son's eight-day week.

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9/6/2007

Dear Dubya:

Call Ahmadinejad's bluff, says Tom Chartier.

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9/3/2007

The Hurricane and Me

Tom Chartier on Dean.

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8/24/2007

All the Poisons

And all the poisoners. Tom Chartier on politics.

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8/18/2007

Declare War

On Italy, says Tom Chartier.

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8/16/2007

America Has Two Dictators

Tom Chartier on our unique regime.

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7/2/2007

Is DC a Lunatic Asylum?

Tom Chartier on The System.

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6/23/2007

I Was Wrong

Tom Chartier now sees the wisdom of neoconservatism.

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6/15/2007

In the Age of Bush and Putin

Movies to watch, from Tom Chartier.

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6/9/2007

I’m Proud of the Decision That Got You Fired

Tom Chartier tells his father for the first time.

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6/6/2007

Dead-Eye Dick at West Point

What a rowzer!

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5/31/2007

Business Is Booming

The war business. Article by Tom Chartier.

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5/29/2007

That’ll Learn the Little Twerp

Tom Chartier on equal-opportunity oppression.

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5/19/2007

Dubya’s Medal

Tom Chartier on where he got it.

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5/15/2007

Good Fences Make Good Neighbors

But not if they are involuntary.

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5/9/2007

Don’t Pressure Your Kids

They get enough.

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4/21/2007

The Surge Is Working!

For Muqtada al-Sadr.

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4/12/2007

Feeding Kids into the Grinder

Tom Chartier on a young Marine.

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4/10/2007

His Hat Is in the Ring

Tom Chartier on ten reasons to vote for him.

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4/2/2007

Are You Hearing Voices?

Tom Chartier on the talking WC.

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2/28/2007

Look Out!

It's Robo-Car!

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2/23/2007

We Ain’t No Stinking Mercenaries

Tom Chartier on "private contractors."

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2/17/2007

Invest Wisely

Buy…copper?

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2/14/2007

Is Your Child a Math Moron?

Tom Chartier on the government's latest scheme to make sure.

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2/9/2007

The Project for the New American Disaster

Tom Chartier on the neocon crime plan.

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2/5/2007

On the Brink

Of WWIII.

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1/31/2007

Puppet Leader

Tom Chartier on Maliki and the worst job.

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1/27/2007

The Fratboy-in-Chief

Tom Chartier on Bush.

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1/25/2007

The Ticking Clock

Tom Chartier on atomic war.

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1/12/2007

If Dubya Talks and Nobody Listens…

Does he make a sound?

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1/10/2007

The Whacking of ‘Don Hussein’

Powerful criminal families clash.

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1/6/2007

Dear Dubya: Time for a Military Makeover!

Time for a military makeover, says Tom Chartier.

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1/2/2007

The Decider Hath Decided

Tom Chartier on the way forward.

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12/25/2006

Dear Lew:

What I want for Christmas, by Tom Chartier.

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12/22/2006

Suicide Poker…

Or Arabian roulette?

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12/16/2006

Are We Comfortable Yet?

Tom Chartier on yet another DC whitewash.

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12/13/2006

I Died For Freedom, This I Know

For those who bade me fight, told me so.

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12/11/2006

How To Dispose of Unwanted Gifts

Important seasonal advice from Tom Chartier.

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12/6/2006

Paying for Their Own Liberation

Democracy doesn't come cheap, y'know.

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12/1/2006

National Sorry Day?

How do we atone, asks Tom Chartier.

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11/28/2006

Wanted: Asylum

Our Beloved Leader asks Tom Chartier to draft a letter to fellow world figures.

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11/16/2006

We the People

An open letter to congress from Tom Chartier.

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11/13/2006

The Day the Bomb Blew

Tom Chartier tells all.

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11/10/2006

Who Let the COW into the Classroom?

Tom Chartier on teaching in the iStupid age.

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11/2/2006

Throw the Bums Out

After all, they're no angels, says Tom Chartier.

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10/28/2006

If You Must Vote

Get an absentee ballot, says Tom Chartier.

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10/25/2006

How To Spot a Dictator

Tom Chartier on the tell-tale signs.

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10/19/2006

We Encounter the Yuppies

Tom Chartier on an American Odyssey.

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10/17/2006

Nukalert

Tom Chartier is nostalgic for the Cold War.

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10/11/2006

This Is the Way of Dictatorship

Tom Chartier on neo-America.

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10/6/2006

Sealing Off the Perimeter

Tom Chartier on keeping the undesirables off his island.

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10/3/2006

The Shiny New Baghdad Police College

A microcosm of the whole US disaster in Iraq.

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10/2/2006

A Radical Plan for Iraq

Dear Dubya, by Tom Chartier.

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9/29/2006

Hey, Bush

Just how stupid do you think we are?

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9/26/2006

The Land Without Hope

Tom Chartier actually agrees with President Bush.

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9/23/2006

America…

I apologize, says Tom Chartier.

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9/21/2006

The Ditch

Tom Chartier on the awful-hilarious latest from the "war on terrorism."

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9/19/2006

A Nightmare for the USA

Tom Chartier on WWIII.

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9/15/2006

Standin’ at the Crossroads

Tom Chartier on the US blues.

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9/14/2006

When Will Americans Take America Back?

And other questions, from Tom Chartier.

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9/8/2006

Dear Dubya: Help’s on the Way!

Help is on the way, says Tom Chartier.

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9/4/2006

The Paranoia Gap Must Be Closed

Tom Chartier on the garbage police.

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8/31/2006

How Paranoid Can We Get?

Tom Chartier on the federal crazy-state.

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8/25/2006

The Land of the Bush, and the Home of the Afraid

Tom Chartier on the state of air travel.

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8/17/2006

I’ve Seen the Future

And you're not going to like it, says Tom Chartier.

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7/8/2006

Happy Birthday, Dubya

Tom Chartier on what to get the Decider who has everything.

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7/6/2006

All Hail Our Master’s Voice

Got your tv set tuned to FOX?

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4/1/2006

And the Winner Is…

Tom Chartier on the garrison state.

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3/20/2006

They’re All a Bunch of Loonies

Tom Chartier on our rulers.

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3/6/2006

Scooter, You Are Cordially Invited

To go Hunting.

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2/15/2006

Listen Up, Tenderfeet

All you sodbusters gather 'round, says Tom Chartier.

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11/8/2005

A Trip to Cemetery Beach

Tom Chartier on gratitude.

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9/21/2005

Dear Dubya, You Need My Help

On the guitar.

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9/17/2005

A Weekend To Ponder

Clearly, Bush couldn't care less about Americans or the world.

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9/14/2005

A Man Must Tinker

Ladies, stupid will do as stupid does, says Tom Chartier.

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8/5/2005

The Dog Food Scandal

No more will the wool be pulled over Tom Chartier's eyes.

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7/21/2005

Put the Blinders on Before It’s Too Late

Erase all subversive thoughts.

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7/14/2005

How To Be a Bum

For all of you who asked.

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2/15/2005

How Many My Lai’s?

Tom Chartier on war atrocities.

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2/10/2005

Operation Chicken Freedom

Tom Chartier applies to Blackwater.

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2/1/2005

Dear Dubya

I found you a War Czar, says Tom Chartier.

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1/6/2005

Respect Mon

Tom Chartier on understanding another people.

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12/20/2004

I Am a Bum

Tom Chartier on the glory of it all.

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12/14/2004
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