I’ve Got a Golden Ticket

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I use the bike as my Willie Wonka golden ticket to get me away from/around anything annoying – and to a better place. Nothing – nothing – beats a speedy bike for this. You’ve got the acceleration capability of a Bugatti Veyron in a package that’s no wider (or hardly wider) than you are. This lets you slip and dodge and bob and weave like Ali in his prime – against opponents moving as if in slow-motion. It makes you feel free – because you cannot be thwarted by….them.

You know, Clovers.

Clovers are especially dainty morsels because they have no clue howimmediately you can jump from 20 to 80. Or from 80 to 140. In the blink of an eye – before they can even think about reacting – you are already gone. It drives them absolutely nuts. Which is why it’s so delicious. All you need is the tiniest opening. If Clover gives you a half car length of window as he’s pacing the car in the next lane, it’s enough. Remember when the Millennium Falcon went to light speed and just… disappeared? That’s you. Not on the big screen, not in fantasy. Real life.

Savor the pure joy of watching the enraged-because-impotent Clover receding fast in your rearview. It’s right up there with good sex – and good food.

A car – no matter how powerful or fast – is limited in what it can do by the space available, by the space it needs to maneuver. When we lived in the DC area, it was a constant source of frustration to have something really fast to test drive – a new 911 turbo, for example. And to be stuck twaddling along at 47 in a 55 behind a pair of minivans pacing each other to the next stop light. There’s nothing you can do. Clover wins.

His minivan beats your Porsche.

But on a bike, you have shaved the space needed to maneuver by two-thirds or more. Just a sliver of space, that’s all you need. And the time gap has become almost irrelevant. A sport bike’s FTL thrust translates thought into action almost spontaneously. What you’d never dare trying in a car – any car – is so easy, so effortless on a bike that you just do it. Stuck in a Clover Conga? It is a mere nothing to pass four or five Clovers in less time than it takes to read this sentence. If oncoming traffic appears, just twist the throttle, hang on and – just like that – it’s over. You are safely back in your lane, the Clover Conga dispensed with.

Yes, a modern sport bike is that quick.

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