The Top Ten Things NOT To Say After a Defensive Gun Use

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From the home office in Paulden, Arizona, the Top Ten things not to say to the cops when they show up.

10: TWO ALPHA!!!

9: Am I gonna be on “COPS” ?

8: Y’know, officer, if you’d been doing YOUR job…

7: Know a good taxidermist?

6: You say “excessive use of force” like it’s a bad thing.

5: Gosh, officer, the gun just went off by itself. 14 times.

4: What a tight group! I’ve NEVER shot that well sober!

3: Badges? We don’t need no stinking badges

2: That… was…. AWESOME!!!

And the #1 thing NOT to say after a defensive gun use…

“Help me bury him in the backyard with the rest.”

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