by Brian Wilson
Recently by Brian Wilson: The Other Newtown Victims
In advance of the introduction of her New and Improved "Assault Weapons Ban 2013", Sen. Dianne Feinstein (Duh-Absurdistan) was tweeting "Weapons of war do not belong on our streets". That might come as a shock to the Tampa PD and other state and local police folks who take great pride parading their new toys of citizen intimidation (acquired with a helping fistful of your taxpayer dollars courtesy of the DHS) that have become paramount in their local WOOP (War On Overtime Parking). Hey! You never can tell when violent, terrorist-sponsored jaywalking may break out. Unexpectedly. With visions of Waco dancing in their heads, a bullet-proof Public Service vehicle like this could come in mighty handy. Jehovah's Witnesses armed with the latest issues of the Watchtower and Awake! have been known to be courteously relentless in their magazine distribution ministries. That the Boys in Blue already have instant access to M-16s/M4s, the standard issue shoulder weapon of today's American Armed Forces, would strongly suggest local PDs should re-think their armory content lest they come under the baleful stare of the Dreaded Di-Fi.
My media colleagues were also feeling that Chris Matthew's Leg Tingle™ as Dana Bash (CNN Newsreader) tweeted "Must see TV at 11a. I’m told difi will have lots of assault weapons at her big event calling for a ban. And yes, she got permission from dc". Ooooo! "Lots of assault weapons"! (see "leg tingle"). And let her tell you: Di-Fi is no David Gregory!
As the coverage of the fall-out from what has now become known in Mediaville as the "Newtown Massacre" , mis- and dis-information has riddled what passes for reporting on all aspects of the gun control issue. Sadly, print and broadcast journalism has a deep bench for the incompetent.
So as a Program and News Director, here's a Pop Quiz for my fellow media brethren and cisterns [sic] assigned to covering or commenting on this tragedy and its fallout. Before the ON AIR light comes on or the floor director gives you the finger (cue), correctly answer the following:
Have you ever fired a gun? (NB: water, cap, BB, paintball and fingers are not acceptable)
How many guns have you seen become violent? If your answer acknowledges an individual is necessary to operate the weapon, why, then, are you using the term "gun violence" and not "human violence"?
In 25 words or less: What is an "Assault Weapon"? Be specific
(Extra Credit: From Columbine to Newtown, how many involved "Assault Weapons"?)
What is the difference between a "magazine" and a "clip"? Use both in a sentence.
Is a .223 cartridge more or less powerful than the predominant rifle cartridge used by American fighting men in WWII?
(Extra Credit: What was the caliber of the predominant rifle cartridge used in WWII?)
If you had to choose, would you prefer to shot with a .22? .223? 30-06? 00Buck?
("None of the Above" is an understandable but unacceptable answer)
Why is a black gun more dangerous than one made with differently colored components?
If black guns are bad, isn't that racist?
How does a bayonet lug make the "assault rifle" more lethal?
(Extra credit: How many drive-by bayonetings occurred in the US last year?)
To the nearest 100,000, how many Assault Rifles are made of Nerf?
Within 10,000, how many times a day do law-abiding gun owners prevent a crime without firing a shot?
Approximately how many gun laws (State and Federal) are in force in America today?
With so many laws already in force, what are the compelling reasons to believe criminals and mass murders will obey the new ones?
If faced with a home invasion, would you want to be holding your phone or your firearm?
Since nearly all newspapers, TV and radio News Departments have blown the bottom out of the septic tank to set a new level of journalistic integrity and responsibility, all of the above questions had to be answered correctly. Failure relieves you of any reporting/announcing/discussing responsibilities pertaining to Newtown, the 2nd Amendment and any future stories involving firearms. If you fit this description, please report immediately to the Assignment Desk to cover the latest on Lady Ga-Ga's bra, Nicki Minaj's hair or Manti Te'o's undercover angel.
If those of you watching at home don't see an immediate improvement in news coverage, be comforted knowing most everything you need to know can be found amongst the talented throng here at LewRockwell.com. Just remember: you can lead someone to knowledge but you can't make them think. (Insert "Heavy Sigh" sfx here).
Brian Wilson [send him mail], nationally ignored talk show host and occasional LRC un-indicted co-contributor, is currently taking a break from his daily annoyance of miniscule audiences and concentrating his efforts on the Libertas Media Project, a multi-media Internet news distribution and discussion center from his technically challenged studios on the shores of Smith Mountan Lake, Virginia.