27 Ways To Harm Someone

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I wanted to
pull out his eye while he screamed. Then I would see straight through
into the brain that did this to me. I walked over to his house in
Brooklyn. He had lied about me, distorted the truth, wrote about
me in a major public forum, got others writing lies about me. I
was angry. I had thought he was a friend.

I knocked on
the door. He opened it. I then took a glass bottle I happened to
have on me and smashed it over his head. He fell to the floor and
was bleeding from all over his face, his glasses broken, one of
his eyes maybe gashed too deep. “What the f***?!” I then
kicked his head. Flattened his nose. And I left and walked away.
In my dream about it I think I had an erection.

The brain is
the worst tyrant. I imagined the above scene in my head the day
he wrote about me. And a year later, today, I imagined it again.
It’s hard to be a pacifist sometimes. Sometimes I think I’m
mentally ill.

Anger (external
or internal) can raise your heart rate in seconds to 180 beats a
minute from 120. It can raise your blood pressure from 120 over
80 to 220 over 130. Over 400,000 deaths a year are attributed to
sudden anger. Your brain kicks into survival mode. Chemicals get
unleashed that clot your blood, causing heart damage or strokes.
Acids get released into the stomach, causing ulcers. It’s all
bad.

I want to be
happy and healthy. A vow of pacifism is hard to stick with. But
it’s worth doing. An outer renunciation of violence as well
as an inner renunciation. You have to do both. A perfect example
of not “practice makes perfect” because I never will be.
But eventually practice will make permanent.

Someone asked
in my Twitter Q&A if they should be a “physical pacifist”
as well as a “verbal one”.

You must commit
to being a pacifist in EVERY WAY else it’s false pacifism.
There’s 27 kinds of pacifism and to be the happiest you
can possibly be you must engage in all of them.
I would say
most people do a few of these but that’s not good enough. That’s
a false commitment. One must practice and get better until one is
doing all 27.

The FIRST
THREE

There’s
thinking, speaking, acting. Don’t think bad thoughts of someone
(because those thoughts can be better and more productively used).
Don’t speak badly about someone or to someone (has gossip ever
helped you in life?), and don’t hurt someone physically (you
will only hurt yourself in the end and your lifespan will be one
day less so was it worth it?) That’s three ways.

The SECOND
THREE

For each of
those ways there’s: before, during, and after. There’s
before the action (when the anger builds up, which is a hot iron
burning straight through all your neurons and synapses, speeding
up the onslaught of dementia and polarism), there’s during
the action (where all anger is unleashed and only chaos is the result),
and there’s after the action (the regrets, the guilt, the shame,
the consequences).

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the rest of the article

June
12, 2012

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