The TSA on [Mock] Trial

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Nero fiddled
while Rome burned. And Congress holds hearings on the TSA while
the agency sexually assaults passengers, steals their valuables,
torments children, the elderly and handicapped, and spits on the
Constitution.

A "joint
hearing of the House Committee
on Oversight and Government Reform
and the Committee on Transportation and Infrastructure" last
week supposedly "focus[ed]" on the "Transportation
Security Administration (TSA) program challenges and failures."
This sham will neither restrain nor eliminate the TSA, no more than
have the innumerable other hearings on which Congress has squandered
our money — or those upcoming in this series ("The
committees plan
to continue conducting joint oversight hearings
examining additional TSA issues in the coming months"). Indeed,
the hearings' sole purpose and achievement are fooling voters into
believing that Our Rulers care when the thugs they've unleashed
irradiate and grope us.

Leading the
show-trial were Darrell Issa (R-CA) and John Mica (R-FL). You needn't
wade through the dozens of reports and transcripts these hearings
generated to capture their flavor: Issa
supplied a taste when he remarked on a radio show
, "This
is one of those where we have to start asking: One, are personal
liberties being protected?" Yeah, go grab a hanky: I laughed
so hard I cried, too. "Two, is the convenience and efficiency
of air traffic being affected adversely?" Ditto. "And
last, is there a more efficient way to do it?”

Sorta like
the Supreme Nincompoops pretending the Constitution may empower
the Feds to compel the purchase of medical insurance. There can
be no question here, no debate: those who insist that the Commerce
Clause authorizes Obummercare or that the TSA's atrocities "protect
personal liberties" are either shockingly venal or downright
stupid.

Which brings
us to Issa's accomplice. It's possible a more hypocritical charlatan
than John Mica leeches off taxpayers, but not probable. Mica
admits
and on occasion has even bragged that he founded the
TSA. (We'll have to take his word for that: there's no independent
confirmation. His claim becomes even more doubtful when we remember
that "Democrats in Congress … saw how they could use the shock
value of 9/11 to force federalization of security, as they had been
proposing for years, ever since the Lockerbie bombing." [Susan
and Joseph Trento, Unsafe
at Any Altitude
, p. 136]) Nor do the agency's barbarities
trouble Mica: when two air-marshals slaughtered a short-term missionary
named Rigoberto Alpizar — whom they alleged to have shouted about
a bomb; other
witnesses denied that Mr. Alpizar
ever mentioned the b-word
–, Mica
chortled
, "The system worked exactly as designed."
(Intriguing reversion to the passive, there; notice he doesn't say
"as I designed it" when an innocent man dies.)

But Mica's
recently changed his tune. Now he condemns "the
system" as too top-heavy
. Never mind the TSA's pedophilia
and thievery: it pays its managers too much and hires too many of
them. Bloated bureaucracy, not murder, carcinogenic porno-scanners,
or irretrievably lost liberty, twist Mica's knickers. (Not that
bloated bureaucracy shouldn't perturb him — but oughtn't he have
realized the nature of the beast when he supposedly established
the TSA? What bureaucracy isn't bloated? And who spends even
a moment in Leviathan's employ without understanding that elemental
truth, let alone the
five terms in Congress that Mica had racked up by 9/11
?)

Or perhaps
we can attribute his discontent with his brainchild to the "contributions"
he solicits from "private" security firms
. No wonder
Mica wants to "reform" the TSA, restricting it to a supervisory
role while "private" goons staff the checkpoints. Passengers
won't notice any difference: since the TSA will still dictate "screening
protocols," X-rays and a proctologic exam will still torture
victims at airports, even if it's Acme Security rather than the
TSA thrusting its hands down our britches. But Mica and his cronies
will profit from the misery. No reason Chertoff
should hog the whole pie
.

Mica's horribly
disingenuous priorities mirror those of the Committees and their
hearings. Our Rulers object to the porno-scanners not because they
denude and humiliate citizens while increasing our odds of contracting
cancer, nor from any revulsion at such gross insult to the Constitution,
but because "recent
reports
suggest that whole body imaging technology [sic
for porno-scanning] may not be as effective as the Department [of
Homeland Security, TSA's über-bureaucracy] envisioned"
— "despite the hundreds of millions of taxpayer dollars already
spent on AIT." Yep, so much wasted loot is unconscionably criminal
and more than enough cause for abolishing the TSA. Now throw in
its sexual molestation and its swiping of laptops, cash and jewelry,
let alone its petty pilfering of shampoo and mouthwash, and annihilating
this Satanic agency becomes as mandatory as trial and punishment
for its sociopaths.

Instead, Congress
will conduct more "hearings
… [to] examin[e]
the effectiveness and reported shortcomings
of TSA's security initiatives." Thanks, guys: that'll have
the TSA shaking in its jack-boots.

Meanwhile,
Rep. Gerald "The Conman" Connolly (D-VA) informed the
TSA at Monday's hearing, “We’re
not cattle
…” Good gracious, Gerry, of course you're not: cattle
are useful. And they don't produce nearly as much BS as congresscritters
do. Then Conman "add[ed] that u2018barking orders' undermines the
good work of the Transportation Security Administration." Um,
Ger? What "good work"? Then again, you wouldn't sit in
Congress if you didn't consider robbery and lying "good work."

Rep. Tom Petri
(R-WI) must have figured it's never too early to campaign: he wildly
exaggerated when he denounced the TSA for "treat[ing]
traveling Americans u2018like prisoners.'” We wish: the State's
lackeys must at least suspect prisoners of committing a crime before
pawing them.

Our Rulers
threaten to stage more of these ludicrous hearings. You can bet
that not only will they waste as many of our taxes and as much of
our time as this one has, but that you'll never once hear the word
abolish at any of them.

April
4, 2012

Becky
Akers [send her mail] writes
primarily about the American Revolution.

The
Best of Becky Akers

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