Thanks, But I'll Take the Constitution as My 'Passenger Advocate'

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You know an
idea's bad when two politicians propose it. And you know it's really
bad if one of them is Sen. Charles "UpChuck" Schumer (D-NY).

So naturally,
the notion's garnering plaudits from those perverted morons at the
Department of Homeland Security [sic].

UpChuck perennially
pursues publicity; last weekend, that quest had him joining one
of New York's state senators to exploit three elderly women from
Long Island. Their age and infirmities recently handed the Transportation
Security Administration (TSA) an excuse to strip-search them

at JFK International Airport — as if carcinogenic scanners and pedophilic
pawing of little kids aren't reason enough to abolish this bureaucracy.

But rather
than disband the TSA, our
diabolical duo called a press conference
. Yes! There they used
the victims' sons as props to hype themselves and their sorry "solution"
to the agency's atrocities: a "passenger advocate" at
every airport, drawn from the TSA's existing ranks of kleptomaniacs,
voyeurs, and gate-rapists. Looks as if the unions should "contribute"
more heavily to the DNC: here's an opportunity to add a couple thousand
more goldbrickers nationwide (almost 500 commercial airports serve
the country, and each would "require" at least one "advocate"
per shift), but UpChuck and his sidekick blew it.

At any rate,
UpChuck claims the TSA's criminals "will
assist travelers with concerns
over inappropriate screening
processes, immediately and on-site." Yeah, right. When has
a bureaucrat ever "assisted" anyone, let alone
"immediately"? Or arbitrated fairly between his co-workers
and taxpayers?

Meanwhile,
passengers already boast an "advocate" far superior to
anything politicians could invent: the Fourth Amendment to the Constitution.
It categorically prohibits the TSA's mass, warrantless searches
— and all the concomitant abuses.

But at the
TSA, neither the goofiness nor unconstitutionality of "passenger
advocates" matter. Its Big Bowel, John "the Pervert"
Pistole, gushed this Thursday, “Oh,
I think it’s a great proposal
by Sen. Schumer."

This comes
after a week's worth of the TSA's pooh-poohing just that
proposal and trotting out a counter one for "a new 800 consumer
phone number in the new year…" Hmmm. Do you suppose UpChuck
and Pervert have a bet going as to which of them can feed the most
outlandish absurdity to the corporate media for those imbeciles
to report seriously?

Also endorsing
the sop and sham of "passenger advocates" is Janet Napolitano,
Largest Dimwit at the DHS. “Her
question is how soon we can get it rolled out
,” The Perv announced
— with wide-eyed innocence, I'm sure. And in case he hadn't insulted
our intelligence enough, he added the usual pablum about "the
goal," which is "balanc[ing] security and privacy in a
way u2018that respects each passenger, each traveler' …"

I assume the
lunacy of "passenger advocates" originated with the state
senator, Michael Gianaris, and that he convinced UpChuck of its
potential for PR. Gianaris is your typical, local tyrant: he "practiced
law as a litigator in private practice for several years
"
before bellying up to the public trough, where he's gorged ever
since. He "aid[ed]" a congresscritter, then descended
to the state assembly, and now preens in the senate. So brief was
What's-His-Name sojourn in the real world that he actually brags
about "introducing legislation in 2006 creating an independent
commission to redraw legislative and congressional district lines."
Biiiiiiggggg whoop.

The guy probably
won't ever escape the state senate, either, if his instincts are
so poor that he enlisted UpChuck to push "passenger advocates."
In a profession that not only encourages but demands megalomania,
UpChuck plumbs new depths. Sen. Bob Dole (R-KS) supposedly jeered
that "the
most dangerous place in Washington
is between Charles Schumer
and a television camera." So if What's-His-Name figured he'd
piggyback his "advocates" on UpChuck's command of those
cameras, he must be kicking himself (oh, please, oh, please!): over
the last week, the media's increasingly ignored him until now their
stories mention only UpChuck
.

Meanwhile,
marvel at UpChuck's nerve in tackling a topic on which he's completely
ignorant. This sociopath has no more experience with aviation than
you or I do.

Rather than
an expert whose advice the industry welcomes, he's simply a passenger
— and a nasty one at that. Two years ago, he called a stewardess
a "crude term," as the New
York Times put it. "After an announcement
that cellphones
must be turned off, both senators [UpChuck was sitting next to New
York's other excuse for a senator, Kirsten Gillibrand] initially
kept talking on their phones. Ms. Gillibrand ended her call, but
Mr. Schumer kept talking. The flight attendant then approached Mr.
Schumer and told him the entire plane was waiting for him to shut
off his phone."

Yep, it's an
asinine and completely unconstitutional regulation. So sponsor legislation
ordering the FAA to rescind it, UpChuck. Instead, "when the
flight attendant … walked away Mr. Schumer turned to Ms. Gillibrand
and described the attendant as a u2018bitch.'"

Only congresscritters
may freely express themselves in aviation's gulag: mere taxpayers
who so presume are kicked off planes. In June, Delta Airlines sicced
the cops on Robert Sayegh of Brooklyn after a steward overheard
the F-word. “I was just kind of talking to the guy sitting next
to me," Mr.
Sayegh recalled
. "I said ‘What is taking so long?’ I said
u2018What the ‘F’ is going on?’ I could see if I directed it at (the
flight attendant), but I didn’t even speak to him.” Nonetheless,
police "escort[ed]" him off the plane.

Nor did UpChuck's
vulgarity exhaust his arrogance and the "we-are-just-so-important"
attitude characterizing Our Rulers. "…the
phone rang again moments
after the attendant had told Mr. Schumer
to shut it off. u2018It's Harry Reid calling, I guess health care will
have to wait until we land,' Mr. Schumer said."

Like What's-His-Name,
UpChuck considers himself competent to control every aspect of our
lives though he understands nothing but legislating and lavish lunches
with lobbyists. He's never held a real job: following law-school,
he
scuttled straight to the New York State Assembly
. He's haunted
one house of Congress or another since. And yet this pampered leech
dares dictate to productive entrepreneurs while fobbing off "passenger
advocates" on strip-searched seniors.

Chuck Schumer,
What's-His-Name, "passenger advocates," and the
TSA.

December
17, 2011

Becky
Akers [send her mail] writes
primarily about the American Revolution.

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