by Becky Akers: Ventura's
Venture Against the TSA
first pops into your mind when someone says, "TSA"?
at airport checkpoints? Irradiation and deformed babies in utero?
Theft? Bullies in brown-sorry, blue shirts screaming at the weak
and defenseless, stripping diapers from dying grandmothers and teddy
bears from toddlers?
you're writing a 24-page
report on the TSA, timed to coincide with its tenth anniversary.
How far are you into your first sentence before the words "pedophiles"
and "unconstitutional," "gate-rapists," "prison"
and "hanging offenses" befoul your computer's screen?
I bet we have
a bigger chance of finding the Constitution in Obama's hip pocket
than we do of your ignoring the TSA's atrocities. I will further
wager that you wouldn't merely prescribe reforms for the agency,
almost all of them bureaucratic ("TSA must act with greater
independence from the DHS [Department of Homeland Security] … The
TSA Administrator must be a priority appointment for the President,
along with other agency heads and Cabinet-level Secretaries, and
the length of the term of the TSA Administratoru2018s appointment and
compensation should be reexamined"). Instead, you would demand
the agency's immediate, total abolition — and at top volume, in
This is why
you and I are serfs rather than Congresscriminals. These sociopaths
can actually issue what the
Washington Post risibly called a "harshly critical"
"Joint Majority Staff Report" on the TSA without ever
mentioning even one of its crimes against humanity.
"Majority" surveys a few examples of the TSA's many nauseating
boondoggles ($97 million of our taxes wasted on "650 state-of-the-art
AT-2 carry-on baggage screening machines" that sit twiddling
their gears in a warehouse; another 39 million of our hard-earned
dollars squandered on 106 "Explosive Trace Detection Portals,
… [which] could not consistently detect explosives in an operational
environment" because the TSA's dimwits bought them without
testing them in situ); discusses its failure to apprehend
any terrorists despite their documented passage through American
airports; and scolds it for its defiance time and again of Congress
as well as its outright lawbreaking (don't get too excited: the
Majority waxes indignant over the TSA's violating the Administrative
Procedures Act of 1946, not its egregious trampling of the Constitution).
And yet, after
all this astounding profligacy and illegality, the Majority is as
chary of the word "abolish" as it is of acknowledging
the TSA's assaults on us. Instead, incredibly, it recommends 11
"reforms" that may trim the TSA's bureaucracy a bit while
shuffling its deviants from one office to another even as they hand
its "Administrator" — currently John "The Pervert"
Pistole — more money and power. The Majority proposes absolutely
nothing substantive — but then, it wouldn't be Congress if it stuck
in a sensible suggestion or two.
None of us
needs more proof that the bozos on the Potomac are utter nincompoops,
stupid, venal, corrupt, and shockingly deaf to their constituents'
concerns. But for family and friends who do, or for a good but horribly
bitter laugh, read this silly Report.
From it you'll
glean further infuriating tidbits on the TSA. For instance:
more than 65,000 employees, TSA is larger than the Departments
of Labor, Energy, Education, Housing and Urban Development, and
State, combined. TSA is a top-heavy bureaucracy with 3,986 headquarters
personnel and 9,656 administrative staff in the field.
2001, TSA staff has grown from 16,500 to over 65,000, a near-400%
increase. In the same amount of time, total passenger enplanements
in the U.S. have increased less than 12%.
2002, TSA procured six contracts to hire and train more than 137,000
staff, for a total of more than $2.4 billion, at a rate of more
than $17,500 per hire. More employees have left TSA than are currently
employed at the agency." The Report later adds, "At
San Francisco International Airport (SFO), the cost to train a
private screener to TSA standards is $6,222, more than $11,000
less, per screener, than their federal counterparts." …
the past ten years, TSA has spent nearly $57 billion to secure
the U.S. transportation network, and TSA's classified performance
results do not reflect a good return on this taxpayer investment.
[Oh, such coy masters of the understatement!]
average, there are 30 TSA administrative personnel – 21 administrative
field staff and nine headquarters staff – for each of the 457 airports
where TSA operates. …
Nationu2018s [catch the Nazified capitalization] 35 largest airports
account for nearly 75% of passenger traffic [so an efficient,
effective organization might concentrate its efforts there rather
than on all 457 commercial airports] …
warehouses are nearly at capacity, containing almost 2,800 pieces
of screening equipment. … TSA's failure to deploy this cutting-edge
technology in a timely manner is yet another example of the agencyu2018s
flawed procurement and deployment program." Ya think?
alone offer a compelling, incontrovertible, and unanswerable argument
for dissolving this dysfunctional bureaucracy. So the last thing
even a moron would urge is that the TSA undertake more tasks,
let alone complex ones.
Yep: that is
precisely what the Majority advises. It chides leeches who neglect
to "deploy" their expensive gadgets for not "Utiliz[ing]
Biometrics"; it reproves nitwits who can't "quickly analyze
and take advantage of available intelligence" for not infesting
airports overseas as copiously as they do American ones. Add to
Congress' other staggering sins a lunacy that makes the Mad Hatter's
Wonderland seem a model of rationality.
the Majority devotes much of its Report to a hobby-horse that once
again proves government's complete irrelevance and, worse, harmfulness:
it advocates returning to the system that produced 9/11, the one
the TSA replaced, as if Congress had never passed the legislation
spawning the agency. How to undo the last decade? With a bit of
fascism euphemized as "the Screening Partnership Program (SPP)."
Translating from the Jargon, Our Rulers see TSA as an overseer,
mandating aviation's security and minutely controlling it, though
employees of "private" personnel agencies would actually
man the checkpoints. The only difference between this arrangement
and the one that prevailed from the 1970's until 2001 is that bureaucrats
at the notoriously incompetent FAA played the supervisory role for
which Congress now casts bureaucrats at the notoriously incompetent
No one but said pencil-pushers, unions, and the Congresscritters
campaigning on the bribes-sorry, contributions from those personnel
agencies. Whether the creep groping victims "works" directly
for the TSA or for a so-called private company under the TSA's totalitarian
thumb matters not a whit. Miss
USA will still sob after the attack; survivors
of cancer will still wind up drenched in their own urine.
Indeed, I have
yet to hear any passenger sigh, "You know, u2018TSA
still refuses to allow new airports to participate in [SPP]
and continues to refuse to provide an explanation of the criteria
used to judge the merits of program applications.'" Rather,
they shriek that they don't want their daughter's "crotch
grabbed" and promise, "If
you touch my junk, I’ll have you arrested."
the Joint Majority is too imbecilic to realize its own implication,
that Congress ought never to have foisted the barbaric TSA on us.
It obliviously argues for reinstating the process that murdered
3000 people on 9/11, the unconstitutional arrangement Congress devised
40 years ago and just as unconstitutionally replaced on November
19, 2001. Except now it adds sexual molestation, thievery, and brutality.
question of why we tolerate the TSA, Congress, or any rulers. Abolish
government in toto before it abolishes us.
Akers [send her mail] writes
primarily about the American Revolution.