by James Altucher: I
Woke Up Scared and Angry Today
remembered we all threw our bodies on top of each other. We were
making a mountain of bodies. We were all laughing and wrestling
to see who would get to the top of the bodies. I was on top. I was
three or four years old. We were in “Yellow Duck Nursery School”.
Laughing. Having fun.
Then I took
a shit. A big one.
And we were
all in shorts. Something I like to describe on CNBC as the “trickle-down
effect” began to occur.
yelling. Everyone started insulting me and running away from me.
A teacher hit me. The next memory I have was that I was on the “special
kids” school bus in the middle of the day. My mom was waiting
on the driveway. “What did you do!” she said and took
me by the hand and brought me inside.
That may have
been my first memory.
What we do
with our bowels is very important to us. We basically viscerally
remember the times we shit on others. The more people under us,
the bigger the memory.
the media, the advertising industry, society, culture, your bosses,
your parents, continue this trickle down-effect.
SCAM: Trading stocks is a totally rigged scam. Anybody who doesn’t
listen to me is just jerking off in a madhouse. I have so much proof
the system is completely rigged that the only way to win is if you
are on the side of the people doing the rigging. There are 300mm
people in the country and probably about 200 people who are rigging
the system. Good luck trying to fit yourself into the club of 200
while you lose all of your money.
other scams which involves groups of people doing massive poops
on others (ok, I toned down the language):
I spoke to a guy who used to run a TV network. He said,”I would
never in a million years buy a TV ad. They are useless.” I
repeat: He RAN a TV network. His whole job was to sell ads to all
the losers who would listen to his lies. All advertising is like
that. We’ve evolved into an age where content creates branding.
If you don’t stand out through valuable content, you’re
useless. Advertising seems like a small scam. Does it equal the
level of these other scams? And yet, we’re exposed to something
like 10,000 impressions of ads per day. And the companies that pay
for those ads are even being scammed because they don’t have
people who understand the value of creating real content.
fooled into thinking that personal branding is important. When
people talk to me about “personal branding” the first
thing I think is, “ok, so you’re a liar.”
Why do I need a personal brand? Why should that be any different
than the honest me? Are people afraid to show their real selves
(rhetorical question because the obvious answer is “yes”).
I’ve said it in a million articles so I’ll be concise
here as to why it’s a scam: Banks borrow from the people
with checking accounts. They pay 0.5% or whatever. That’s a
loan you give the bank and you can call it back anytime you want
by writing a check or withdrawing the money. They then take that
money and lend it out at 6% to people who want to buy a house. The
multi-trillion dollar banking industry makes almost all of its money
that way. Multi-TRILLION. So they have to keep making you
think that you don’t have “roots” (a Neanderthal
call back to our Mother Earth mysticism) unless you own a white
picket fence, a house that can’t be moved, a home for your
children, etc. Trillions of dollars are at stake if you don’t
believe in this scam. For all the other reasons, check out my articles.
[See the most popular article every on this blog: "Why
I’d Rather Shoot Myself In the Head than Ever Own a Home Again"
– actually, that article links to the most popular article because
it’s a response to a response of the original article]
I know, I know, I’ve
written about this a million times. But think about it: why
is it that just about everything single thing you learned in history
class has to be relearned when you are an adult just so you get
the reality of what happened. And when I was growing up we somehow
ran out of time to learn about the Vietnam War. Surprise. The reality
is, society needs your parents to work. So what the hell are they
going to do with you? Well, they really should just let you play
in the mud all day. But municipalities justify exorbitant taxes
by saying, “no,no, no, that’s illegal! They have to go
to school and get tested and standardized and we will love them
from nine to three so you don’t need to feel guilty.
The entire modern concept of happiness was re-created
with commercial images to fool you in various ways. So that people
can advertise to you (“if you buy this, you’ll be happier
than if you buy that”), so that companies can convince you
to work (“if you make this amount of money and we treat you
vaguely nicely then you will be happy”). So that self-help
gurus can sell you everything from food to exercises to positive
thinking to make you think you will be a little bit happier. I do
think there is such a thing as “happiness” but it takes
a very different form than the one usually shown at surprise birthday
We get so worked up. When Obama won the election a friend of mine
told me she felt something “akin to an orgasm”. And now
what? Where’s the next orgasm? Will she have another orgasm
at the next election? Is she going to have an orgasm for Rick Perry
this time? Nothing wrong with Obama. It’s just that the President
doesn’t do anything and we no longer even need a Congress.
But billions of dollars are made on lobbying, political advertising,
consulting, etc to get your hopes up. [See, Time
to Abolish the Presidency, which links to my other articles
on why politics is a scam.]