The TSA's Dogs of War

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by Becky Akers: Take
This Love and Shove It



Awwwww, aren't
they sweet
? Absolutely "irresistible,"
in fact, especially given their future employment: these puppies
will one day sniff passengers who have no choice but to submit,
regardless of whether they're frightened of or allergic to dogs.

"The Transportation
Security Administration’s [TSA] Puppy Program breeds working detector
dogs," prattles Pravda — sorry, KENS-5 of San Antonio, Texas.
The story offers no less than 79 slides; presumably each features
another of Our future four-footed Masters rather than the jack-booted,
bipedal variety. I only made it to #4. As a mere serf rather than
a politician or bureaucrat, my stomach for even the cutest totalitarianism
is remarkably weak. "But they [sic, apparently for u2018it,'
meaning the TSA] can’t accomplish this goal without the help of
citizens [sic for collaborators] who can foster these little
dogs until they are about 12 months old."

No doubt the
needed "citizens" to "foster" their German Shepherds
too. But where did they and where do their spawn at the TSA recruit
such Volk? Given these regimes' respective sexual
, beatings,
and murders,
what decent person would willingly assist either in any way? Especially
by perverting innocent puppies into agents of such evil. And yet,
the TSA enjoys an abundance of volunteers: "Due to an overwhelming
number of adoption applicants," it
, "there is a waiting list to adopt a pup from the

are natural libertarians
…," says Rex
Curry, a lawyer
who defends victims indicted when dogs supposedly
smell something Our Masters forbid us on them. Dogs "have to
be constantly taught to detect drug odors and approach peaceful
humans and search them, so that humans can be arrested, handcuffed
and imprisoned for decades. That is not an easy trick to teach a
dog. It is easier to teach humans." Bravo! Two points for Rex
and Rover!

The State
implies that dogs are more intelligent than men at sniffing out
the illicit — granted, a stunningly low bar when the "men"
in question "work" for the TSA. Ditto for canine reliability
and honesty. But both their superior abilities to find drugs or
explosives and their incorruptibility are as mythical as the idea
that the TSA protects aviation. Dogs are susceptible to poor coaching,
deliberate or otherwise; for instance, the animal may not be "train[ed]
to ignore residual odors of contraband
." So if you dumped
your bag atop one bulging with reefer on the jitney's luggage rack,
and traffic between the hotel and airport delayed the trip substantially,
Lassie may "alert" to you as well as to Mr. Dealer.

And dogs are
as eager for treats as any cop on the beat. Will they fudge an "alert"
for a reward? You bet. Unlike cops, they're eager to please, too.
They'll react for a beloved handler on cue.

But like everything
else the TSA does, there's a darker undercurrent here than pestering
passengers. Mr. Curry
"Law enforcement uses drug-detecting dogs as
a way to circumvent the Constitution’s requirement that a judge
issue a warrant … there is the added concern that some police use
the dogs for improper searches by claiming that the dogs alert even
when the dogs don’t alert … . It is a police-state tactic.”

Amen again.
Administered by a police-state that refuses to give even its collaborators
— sorry, its "Puppywalker[s]
(foster famil[ies])
" a break. Collaborators are under the
TSA's scrutiny and thumb; their dog belongs to it, not them: "The
pups are returned to the program for one week each month for medical
and behavioral evaluation," says
the TSA's website
. "The program provides feedback to the
foster families on how the puppy is developing. At approximately
one year of age, the pups are returned to the program to start their
official training."

I've never
owned a dog, but from what I've observed of friends who do, relinquishing
your pet one week out of four, let alone losing him entirely after
a year, would be traumatic. Particularly for kids: what sort of
parent sets his child up for such heartbreak? And all for sake of
furthering the State's brutality. On the other hand, what better
introduction to government? "I know, honey," Mommy sniffs,
wiping away her own and her daughter's tears, "we all loved
Prince. But get used to it: one day, you'll love your paycheck,
too, and they'll grab that as well. Expect nothing but predation
and agony from rulers."

Speaking of
which, take a look at the
questionnaire "Puppywalkers" must submit
. Breathes
there the peon so gullible he'll actually furnish Our Masters with
his email address, numbers for his cell and office phones, and an
essay answering the question, "WHY do you wish to serve as
a TSA foster family?" Thanks, but I'll head to the pound for
a pooch before I divulge "the number of adults employed outside
the home/type of employment /regular work hours" to a bureaucracy
notorious for its thievery

Pravda opines, "these pups
will protect airports, mass
transit centers, ferry boats…" Oh, I think not. Ultimately,
these pups will promote the TSA's transformation of America into

12, 2011

Akers [send her mail] writes
primarily about the American Revolution.

Best of Becky Akers

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