Stamp Out the Post Office

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by Becky Akers: Privatizing
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Thank God that
any time Our Rulers mutter about controlling the internet, Americans
rise in holy horror. Earlier this month, when the blasphemously
misnamed Gary Locke, Commerce Comrade – sorry, Secretary, offered
to help us poor serfs remember our passwords by regulating
the net
, everyone from the ACLU
to "privacy and technology experts" denounced his scheme.

So why do
Americans cheer, and lustily, the Feds' power over other communications?
Why do they rise in holy horror at the tiniest diminution of the
United States Postal Service's scope? The agency owns 32,000 outlets
nationwide, many of which “are located in areas where people no
longer live, work or shop,” according
to U.S. Postmaster Patrick Donahoe
. So we shouldn't be shocked
that "total
expenses [exceed] revenue
" at a whopping 26,000
of those offices — but still, we are. The agency's proposal to close
2000 of its money-pits should have us applauding, albeit modestly
to match that modest start. Yet the nitwits among us wail as if
Obaminable had just won another four years.

"The
news is crushing in many remote communities where the post office
is often the heart of the town and the closest link to the rest
of the country," the
War State Journal moans
. Ahem: you bozos heard of TV,
radio, telephones, and, yes, the internet?

Then the WSJ
quotes "Delmer Clark, a 70-year-old retired coal miner in Eastern
Kentucky’s Appalachian Mountains, in the no-stoplight town of Holmes
Mill," which will lose its PO next month. “It ain’t right doing
this to our community,” whines Mr. Clark. Echoing him is "Esther
Sizemore, a 62-year-old retired school-bus driver": "It
will hurt us real bad." I don't know what joy awaits them in
their mail-boxes, but for sure it beats the junk that packs mine.

Let's suppose
for a moment that we can't pay bills online and that corresponding
with Ma and Pa requires old-fashioned letters in envelopes. Still,
would you miss the USPS should it disappear tomorrow? In fact, given
the importance of payments and messages from home, wouldn't you
want anyone other than Our inefficient and stupid Rulers handling
those essential missives? Now back to reality: tell me you can't
live without your catalog from LL Bean and your congresscritter's
propagan – sorry, newsletter. And that receiving such nuggets
is worth footing the USPS's annual losses — $8.5
billion in 2010 alone
.

Recall, too,
that when the Founding Fathers included the
PO among government's "enumerated powers,"
it was
not only the nationwide web of its day but the sole means of communicating
at a distance. Entrusting it to the Feds dramatically
increased their power
as they
dictated what free men may mail
.

Meanwhile,
behold how a century of socialism has degraded the American spirit:
"Residents [of Holmes Mill] will still have home delivery,
and can use the post office and maintain P.O. boxes in the next
town, but some locals fear" the drive of six whole miles
because it follows "a winding mountain road bordering a steep
drop-off to the river." Yet "Coal Miner’s Highway” is
safe enough for the trucks that gave it its nickname.

So we aren't
talking no mail or anything close to that; rather, folks who enjoy
the peace and quiet of small-town life are miffed at the resulting
inconvenience. Yo, Bumpkins: move. Imagine your rage should
New Yorkers who relish their concerts, museums, and restaurants
complain about the City's bustle so the Feds would waste your money
hushing it.

The brouhaha
over the USPS illustrates the unbridgeable gulf separating government
from business. It also proves the former's failure to imitate the
latter and the utter inability of "good" politicians and
bureaucrats — if any there be — to "reform" the boondoggles
of the lying, thieving, murderous State.

An entrepreneur
such as UPS
sees delivering his customers' goods as his raison
d'tre. Not the USPS. "Under
U.S. law,
mail delivery is a u2018basic and fundamental' government
function meant to u2018bind the nation together' by providing service
to u2018all communities' at a reasonable price" — or at least,
at a reasonable pretence prior to its multi-billion-dollar raids
on "federal
coffers.
"

Compounding
this lunacy are regulations equally insane: "The
law currently allows
the postal service to close post offices
only for maintenance problems, lease expirations or other reasons,"
but not for losing money. Then there are the "532,800 workers
[sic]" whose union wrangled them “'significantly' lower
premiums for their health and life insurance plans than other government
employees."

Woe betide
the Postmaster General who says, "The heck with it all — I'm
shuttering that sinkhole in Holmes Mill." He'll fall under
investigation of "the
Postal Regulatory Commission
… which … investigat[es] whether
the postal service … illegally us[es] reasons such as lease expirations
to close small, underused branches." Count on Leviathan to
penalize common sense and profits.

Ah, but here
come politicians to the rescue: while Sen. Thomas Carper (D-Delaware)
has introduced legislation to repeal the absurdity of operating
offices in the red, "elected
officials in
several communities have already written the Postal
Regulatory Commission protesting planned closures." It seems
"shutting down post offices is often politically unpopular"
because "many citizens see [them] as an essential public service."
Go figure: despots who ignore constituents' outrage over sexual
assaults at airports, Obamacare, and bail-outs are all ears when
it comes to maintaining their stranglehold on the mail.

Last but not
least, Sen. Susan Collins (R-Maine) couldn't resist blessing us
with her usual perspicacity: the USPS "needs to look for ways
to stay in business…"

Why?

January
26, 2011

Becky
Akers [send her mail] writes
primarily about the American Revolution.

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Best of Becky Akers

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