Privatizing Perversion

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We may despise
Our sociopathic Rulers, but our contempt for them doesn't come close
to theirs for us. Witness how they play us for fools as they prattle
about "privatizing" the groping and ogling they inflict
on passengers at airports.

At the height
of voters' fury against the Transportation Security Administration
(TSA) last November, Rep.
John "the Toupee" Mica (R-FL) sent a letter to some 200
. He advised them to "opt out" — not from
their porno-scanners, but from the TSA. And not from its atrocities
or control, but only from its employees. Mica exhorted his correspondents
to hire "private" screeners instead. As if that would
change anything whatever, including taxpayers' footing the bill
for their own abuse: whether private or public hands paw us, we're
on the hook for the $7 billion annual bill.

Yet the Toupee
and many airports' managers pretend that "privatization"
will improve "passenger service." Right: when "the
method used to search
[your] body [is] on par with a sexual
massage by a stranger of the same sex," it helps if the deviant
who "grope[s your] buttocks" and "rubs" your
"anus and groin," who "fondle[s you] inappropriately"
and "put[s] her hand forcefully in between [your] legs"
draws a paycheck from a "private" company rather than
from dirty old Uncle Sam.

The Toupee
is one of the TSA's godfathers. He
claims he "helped author"
the legislation spawning
it — though Congress passed his bill so
soon after 9/11
that cynics suspect it originated long before
and was simply waiting in the wings for an appropriate crisis.

You might think
that after foisting such colossal wickedness as the TSA on us, the
Toupee would scurry back to his sewer in shame. Failing that, you
might suppose it would strip him of all credibility so that when
he opens his mealy mouth, the media wouldn't drop to its knees and
kiss his butt.

Sadly, you'd
be wrong on both counts. While passengers suffer horrifically from
the Toupee's evil, he hasn't at all: the media's morons and statists
continue to genuflect before this "expert" rather than
blame him for our national nightmare. Indeed, they
cheer his hypocritical scolding of his brainchild

Which proves
the sorry mess of American journalism, as if we needed further evidence:
the only thing the Toupee understands about aviation is how to tax
it. He's never worked a single day in the industry. "Prior
to his election to Congress
[in 1992], Mica established several
successful business ventures including realestate [sic],
communications, international trade consulting and governmental
affairs firms." The Toupee knows nothing more of aviation than
Your Average Passenger does. And YAP has better hair.

But the nincompoops
in Congress never hold a little ignorance against a tyrant: "Mica
is the ranking Republican
on the House Transportation and Infrastructure
Committee. Once the new Congress convenes in January, the lawmaker
is expected [to] lead the committee." Where he'll no doubt
continue pushing the scam of privatization: "In
the past 13 years, Mica
has received almost $81,000 in campaign
donations from political action committees and executives connected
to some of the private contractors already at 16 U.S. airports."

How convenient,
then, that "airport
managers who
are fed up with" the TSA itch to replace its
goons with "private" ones — though they'll sexually assault
us as outrageously as their federal counterparts do. "…passengers
at opt-out airports [won't] be able to sidestep security procedures.
u2018TSA sets the security standards that must be followed and that
includes the use of enhanced pat-downs and imaging technology, if
installed at the airport,' said TSA spokesperson Greg Soule."

This was precisely
the arrangement in place on the morning of 9/11 — though it was
the FAA rather than the TSA "setting the security standards"
by which "private" screeners searched passengers. The
items they swiped from us, the magnetometers, their X-raying of
our carry-on bags — the FAA dictated all these indignities, down
to the tiniest detail. So by urging airports to return to this system,
the Toupee tacitly admits his legislation wigged out.

Not even that
dims his luster with the press. "Rep. John Mica … call[s] TSA
a u2018bloated, poorly focused and top-heavy bureaucracy,'" MSNBC
breathlessly reports.
Yeah, so does everybody breathing, but
morons don't thrust microphones and cameras in their faces.

commercial airports are onboard with the Toupee — and no wonder.
Government, whether municipal or state, owns and manages them.

TSA has grown too big
and we’re unhappy with the way it’s doing
things,' said Larry Dale, president of Orlando Sanford International
Airport. u2018My board is sold on the fact that the free enterprise
system works well and that we should go with a private company we
can hold directly accountable for security and customer satisfaction.'"

Larry, either
you're an imbecile, or you assume we are. This isn't "free
enterprise" or anything close to it; in fact, it's as antithetical
to both freedom and enterprise as Obama is. But this does set up
"the free enterprise system" as a handy fall guy, doesn't
it? Should another 9/11 occur, you and the Toupee can shake your
heads and "hold" "the free enterprise system"
and those "private" screeners "directly accountable"
as the Feds did after the first one

Nor does it
matter whether Leviathan pays the rapists manning the checkpoints
or whether the beast funnels the money through a "private"
company: there won't be a dime's worth of difference because the
TSA will still mandate the molestation and all its minutiae. Indeed,
we don't even need to flip to another article for confirmation:
after quoting Larry's lunacy, MSNBC
notes that the “'TSA issues
the RFP [request for proposal] and
selects and manages the contractor' that steps in…" That's
according to "Michael McCarron, director of community affairs
at San Francisco International, one of the first airports to adopt
private screeners."

Yep: the Toupee's
"private" screeners have infested San Francisco's airport
for years. And yet the place hasn't earned a reputation as an oasis
of common sense that treats passengers as customers, not criminals,
has it? Indeed, "airport officials say most travelers don’t
know if the screeners performing pat-down checks work for the TSA
or a private company." It seems we can safely conclude that
the problem isn't "private" or public perverts but the
vile TSA.

Which brings
us to the only guy showing any intelligence in MSNBC's entire story.
Privatization "may
be a step in the right direction
, but ultimately, it doesn't
change the fact that people at the top are idiots …," said
aviation consultant Michael Boyd, of Colorado-based Boyd Group International."
Indeed, Mike would have been in the running for our Genius Award
had he stopped there. Unfortunately, he added, "The real problem
is that TSA needs to be totally rebuilt."

Nope. It needs
to be totally abolished.

6, 2011

Akers [send her mail] writes
primarily about the American Revolution.

Best of Becky Akers

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