Keynesian Economics: A Halfwit's Guide to Monetary Inflation

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Previously by Richard Daughty: Economic Warnings From an Elderly 3rdGrader

Information Clearing House Newsletter had the quote, “Believe those who are seeking the truth; doubt those who find it” by Andre Gide, which is generally true about most things, except in the case of economics, because the only true economic theory has already been found, and it is the Austrian school of economics, also known as the Austrian Business Cycle Theory (ABCT), and I have nothing but contempt for anyone who says differently, especially since it can be found every day, for free, at mises.org, and so to believe anything else is just a matter of stupidity and/or willful ignorance.

In case you were wondering, I figure that the worst economic theory in history was the one where economists got a chicken drunk and watched to see if it fell first on its right side or onto its left side, one side meaning one thing and the other side meaning, I assume, the opposite, although I am not sure of the details since I just made it up and now I am sorry I did because it seems so stupid now that I see it in print.

Nonetheless, it is all preamble anyway, since I meant it as a literary device to segue seamlessly to my introducing the second-worst economic theory in history, which is the asinine neo-Keynesian econometric stupidity currently being swallowed whole by the vast majority of university halfwits, media halfwits, political halfwits and a host of voters that I variously describe as, for want of a better term because I am peculiar that way, “halfwits”; all of whom actually think that by electing government representatives who will always spend more than the government gets in revenue, by the simple, brain-dead expedient of creating more and more debt, all happily aided and abetted by the despicable Federal Reserve creating the money necessary to buy that much new debt, so that the government can spend this new money, for the childish, Pollyanna-expressed aim of equalizing everyone’s outcomes in everything; they can achieve A Perfect World (APW)! Hahahaha! Morons!

As an American, it’s embarrassing to be in a country that boasts about its emphasis on education, but then is so bewilderingly ignorant of all of human history, the exponential function and simple arithmetic, although I am somewhat cheered by the fact that everybody else, in every other country in the world, is just as ignorant.

And mostly rude, too, as I found out during my early (and few) days as a market researcher, where I would cleverly call, at random, phone numbers in other countries (at 2 AM, their time, to make sure they were at home and my research would probably not be interrupted) where I would ask them, “Do you think that the economy of the USA is getting better, staying the same, or getting worse? And if you think that it is getting better, then explain how in the hell that is even possible, ya moron, when the Federal Reserve, that loathsome piece of treacherous crap which caused all the housing problems by creating too much money and credit, and which caused the derivatives problem by creating too much money and credit, and which caused the cancerous growth of a stifling, suffocatingly expensive government by creating too much money and credit, and which caused interest rates to drop so impossibly low by creating too much money and credit, is still on the job! Still On The Freaking Job (OTFJ), creating too much money and credit, but in amounts that dwarf any of the previously insane increases in the money supply by the loathsome Alan Greenspan, chairman of the Federal Reserve 1987—2006, even though those relatively small, $10 billion per month increases in Fed Credit were responsible for all the umpteen trillions of dollars in phantom gains, all of which are the result of year after year of sizzling inflations in stocks, bonds, houses, derivatives and the size of government that all that the extra money bought and paid for!”

Instead of these foreigners, who think they are so smart, giving me some coherent, thoughtful answer like, “You’re right, mysterious pollster whose insightful questions have given me much to think about! Central banks increasing the money supply will lead to a terrible inflation that will tear society apart!”, instead they angrily and rudely yell something in an unintelligible gibberish, probably in some stupid foreign language even though it is obvious that I am speaking English, which shows how rude they are, and then they hang up!

After being so rude to me, I was always secretly glad that I did not get the chance to tell them to buy gold, silver and oil in response to the government’s stupidity, and now they will suffer mightily, and I will cruelly laugh — hahahaha! — at their misery, as they now go without these three wonders as vital protections against the destruction of an inflationary collapse caused by these insane increases in the money supply, a collapse that is, I am sorry to say, unstoppable.

But if you have gold, silver and oil, then it’s, instead of Armageddon, “Whee! This investing stuff is easy!”

Richard Daughty (Mogambo Guru) is general partner and COO for Smith Consultant Group, serving the financial and medical communities, and the writer/publisher of the Mogambo Guru economic newsletter, an avocational exercise to better heap disrespect on those who desperately deserve it. The Mogambo Guru is quoted frequently in Barron’s, The Daily Reckoning, and other fine publications.

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