The Kindergarten Theory of Government

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As a young
Libertarian attending Auburn University in the late 80′s and early
90′s, I came up with a new theory which I called The Kindergarten
Theory of Government. Memories from my kindergarten class at
Forestdale Baptist Church led to the name of this theory.

When
in kindergarten, my friend Michael B. and I were pretty good architects.
Using the building blocks in our kindergarten classroom we routinely
built buildings much taller than we were.

From
time to time when we built a very tall building, there was another
kid, an idiot, who would pick up a large block, run towards
our building, and hit our building with the large block, causing
our building to crash down.

Being
young and gullible, we would look to the teacher expecting her to
right the wrong, to punish the idiot kid who knocked down our building.
Guess what the teacher did on more occasions than not? She made
everyone in the entire classroom stop all their play activities
because of the actions of one bad kid.

The
Kindergarten Theory of Government is one of the main operating
theories that the United States government uses as a principle for
day-to-day operation.

It's
fundamental characteristic is this: It punishes the responsible
citizens, the majority, for the actions of the irresponsible citizens,
the minority.

Let's
look at some concrete examples.

A
small minority of criminals use guns to commit crimes. It follows
that these individuals should be punished. Yet every time we have
shooting, you have legions of politicians calling for bans on all
private firearms. Why? This makes no sense. There are millions,
possibly billions of firearms in the hands of private U.S. citizens.
If this posed such a great danger, the United States would look
like Europe during World War 2. I trust my fellow citizens with
guns far more than I will ever trust my government with guns.

Let's
look at another example of this theory in practice: Social Security.

Unless
a person has a mental defect, they have to realize that if they
do not die, they will reach a point in which the deterioration of
their body will not allow them to do productive work. As such, it
is prudent to start saving money for when the period of productive
work is over. However, one day a few politicians come along and
say something like this: "We believe you are all ignorant sheep
who will not save for your future. As such we are going to use the
coercive power of the government to force you to save as you are
too dumb to do it for your self."

So
the majority of the responsible citizens who would save money for
old age are forced into a savings plan that is a loser financially
simply because the minority of the irresponsible citizens will not
save. COMMENT: Even if the social security money were really there,
the poor return makes it a BIG LOSER in pure financial terms. One
could get a better return by putting their money in a low-risk mutual
fund.

(I
want to say for clarity that I do think social security money is
O.K. to give to people with severe mental or physical handicaps,
severe mental or physical defects, people with advanced senile dementia,
orphans, etc. I don't think these people are entitled to this money
by "right," I just think it is just the decent, humane,
and practical thing to do.)

Drug-taking
behavior is another area where the majority of good people are punished
for the actions of the bad. Let me explain. I conservatively estimate
that for every one whacked-out drug abuser/mis-user you see on the
t.v. shows such as Cops, there are 5 individuals working
in cubicles in office buildings who take drugs like amphetamines,
narcotic analgesics, and benzodiazepine tranquilizers, purchased
on the street, on a daily or near daily basis, to help them get
through life and meet their responsibilities. If these type users
work jobs and take care of their families, why should they be arrested
and treated in the same way as whacked-out drug users you see on
Cops? Again, the responsible majority is punished for the
acts of the irresponsible minority.

How
about the most egregious example of all: NOT DEFINING WHEN ADULTHOOD
BEGINS! This is the absolute worst punishment that can be put on
a young person, and it's done to the good youths (the majority)
for the actions of the bad youths (the minority).

In
the United States, at age 18, you can be convicted of murder and
executed. However at age 18, you cannot walk into a bar and buy
a beer (But you can vote for president! Ha! Ha! How much did you
know at 18?) You have to be 21 for beer but only 18 for executing!
Unless, you’re in the military, in which you can drink or
buy alcohol if you’re
under age 21, but only while on base Think of that. A young
man or woman has volunteered to serve their country, to die if necessary,
but they cannot walk into a bar in Las Vegas and drink alcohol Then
there is tobacco: you have to be 19 to buy that.

I
think the legal definition of adulthood should be age 19. Why 19?
Because by the time most people get to age 19 they have graduated
high school and at least had a very small taste of the real world.

SO
WHY DOES THE KINDERGARTEN THEORY OF GOVERNMENT CONTINUE TO BE IMPLEMENTED
OVER TIME? MORE TO THE POINT, WHY DON'T THE PEOPLE JUST BUCK
THIS SYSTEM OF KINDERGARTEN TECHNIQUES OF GOVERNMENT?

Four
words: Government-Mandated Public Education.

Translation:
A lot, a lot of people in our United States don't know how
to think due to the "education" they receive in public
schools. They cannot see that their "government" is really
a kindergarten class.

You
will NEVER, EVER, have a society of independent, self-reliant
people as long as government-mandated public education exists. Government-run
public schools do not teach students how to think. They teach students
how to conform and fit in with the group. Thanks to
John Dewey and his ilk, the public schools were hijacked from institutions
of education and made into institutions of socialization.

In
order to end the kindergarten technique of government, schools,
home and private for now, and with a strong push for change, public
schools in the future, should do the following:

  1. Teach
    mathematical and logical reasoning. Teach the children how
    to think. It's very difficult to pull the wool over the
    eyes of a society of people trained in mathematics and logic.

  2. Teach real
    economics, such as the Austrian School of Economics. Explain
    the dangers of fiat money and private central banks like the
    Federal Reserve.

  3. Teach
    history, including the ancient western classics of history and
    have the students learn the fundamental principles that the
    history teaches instead of having them regurgitate names and
    dates.

  4. Encourage
    technical creativity in the pure and applied sciences, engineering,
    and technical vocations.

  5. Teach about
    the United States form of government, a constitutional republic,
    not a democracy. Focus on the Bill of Rights, especially the
    first, second, ninth, and tenth amendments. Focus on the fact
    that the federal government serves the states, and that the
    states DO NOT serve the federal government.

  6. Teach entrepreneurship.

  7. Teach self-reliance
    and set it as the highest virtue.

September
26, 2009

Kevin Swindle
[send him mail] is a
graduate of Auburn University, Auburn, Alabama. He received his
B.A. Degree in psychology in 1994. He writes on psychology and philosophy
as applied to politics, government control methods and countermeasures,
preparedness, and survival.

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