Even the Planets Are Warning Us Against This Wall Street Bailout!

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I knew I wasn't
getting the full story from the liberal/corporate/fascist (take
your pick) press.

We're obviously
experiencing a transition to a new era, something even bigger than
a New World Order, and all the media could talk about were boring
things like "subprime mortgages," "derivatives,"
"swap agreements," "forward rate agreements,"
"Turbo warrants," and "the undertaker" (Ayn
Rand's amazingly apropos reference, I gathered, to Alan Greenspan).
I never got beyond "subprime mortgages," which I figured
out were temporary house leases for Barney Frank's constituency.
But I knew there had to be a better explanation, one I could understand.

Then a friend
sent me Daily Astrology & Adventure for September 26,
and it all made sense. Well, sort of.

I did realize
that this is what John McCain should have told President Bush and
Senator Obama and all assembled at that emergency White House conference
on the bailout:

“My friends:

“Two words.
Just two words: Mercury retrograde!

“That’s why
we cannot go through with this bailout. At least not at this time.

“You see, the
planets are in Mercury retrograde, and anyone with a shred of scientific
astrological experience with Mercury retrograde knows that, at the
least, things you do under this influence generally don’t quite
work out as planned. In fact, most astrologers would advise you
to hold off buying a clock radio, much less investing in nearly
a trillion dollars worth of bad mortgages and other rotten debt
from some of the world’s most irresponsible companies….”

With that,
he probably would have been sued for plagiarism by the person who
writes that daily PlanetWaves.net column, but I’m sure he also would
have got the entire bailout matter shelved. And then he could have
traveled to Mississippi as the war hero who also saved America from
a horrendous Mercury retrograde deal.

And, given
how many secret astrologers there are in the U.S., he would be a
shoo-in in November.

Only one thing
bothers me: There’s something even scarier coming up in a couple
of weeks.

“Because a
Mercury retrograde was involved in both the meltdown and the ongoing
attempted rescue plan," I am told by Daily Astrology &
Adventure, "we will know more — a lot more, but obviously
not everything — when Mercury stations direct on Oct. 15, or perhaps
a day before. That’s when we will experience an Aries Full Moon
conjunct [with?] the new planet Eris — the goddess of chaos, among
other things.”

Ohmigosh, does
that mean the goddess of chaos will be unleashed on October 15 —
am I reading that right?

Could Sarah
Palin be Eris the goddess of chaos?

Where, oh where,
is Nancy Reagan when I need her to explain this to me!

27, 2008

Franke [send him mail]
was one of the founders of the conservative movement in the 1950s
and 1960s, when Democrats and liberals were the ones who believed
in big government, fiscal recklessness, and an imperial presidency.

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