'Public Servants'

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Perhaps you’ll be as shocked as I to learn that last Monday inaugurated "Public Service Recognition Week (PSRW)." Who knew it was limited to a week? Doesn’t every day belong to Our Masters as we sweat to support them? Nor are feeding, housing, and clothing these leeches enough; we’re supposed to appreciate them, too: "I urge everyone to take notice of the public employees they interact with during any given week and offer him/her a heartfelt u2018thank you,’" says Darryl Perkinson, president of the Federal Managers Association (FMA). That’s one of his less garbled sentences, by the way: his "Personal Message from the President on Public Service" begins "As we gather in various locations around the country during…PSRW celebrating and honoring the civil servants that provide this great country with what could be described as the heartbeat of democracy, remember that millions of those hard working [sic] civilians are supporting this nation as you read this column. Often, we are impacted by the negative outcomes that are sometimes placed on the shoulders of u2018those government workers.’" It goes downhill from there — and the Federal Times published this embarrassment. Geez, Darryl, spring for a copy of Strunk and White.

FMA is a union that shuns the word: instead, it "advocates to Congress on behalf of its members … Advocacy efforts include congressional testimony, agency consultation, grassroots letter campaigns, and media relations. … it is the founding member of several key federal employee coalitions." But FMA’s "advocacy" and "coalitions" are as obsessed with "pay, compensation and benefits" as any union: "FMA’s track record includes legislative and regulatory success in: … pay, compensation and benefits… FMA’s issue agenda addresses: … competitive civil service pay and benefits…" Call me a cynic, but I’ll bet Darryl advises that "heartfelt u2018thank you’" to soften us up for another incursion on our wallets.

FMA is only one of the groups pushing us to thank freeloaders who ought to be thanking us — actually, who ought to be prostrating themselves while begging our mercy for their incompetence and chicanery, to say nothing of their lies, thefts, and killings. Also recommending that we kiss bureaucratic butt is the oxymoronic and simply moronic "Council for Excellence in Government." Hmmm: do you suppose there’s a Council for Dryness in Water somewhere, too? The Council’s idea of excellence coincides with Leviathan’s if the website it devotes to the PSRW is any guide. Apparently, it hasn’t bothered to update the thing since 2005, and every link takes visitors to its home-page rather than to the promised tantalizer: imagine my disappointment when I couldn’t peruse the "How to Celebrate [the PSRW] Handbook."

Meanwhile, "the first Monday through Sunday in May since 1985, is a time set aside each year to honor the men and women who serve America as federal, state and local government employees." Yep, I retched, too. "Throughout the nation and around the world, public employees use the week to educate citizens [sic for u2018propagandize'] about the many ways in which government serves the people and how government services make life better for all of us." That hurled me from mere retching to full-fledged upchucking. So does a Poverty and Commercial Licensing Appreciation Week lurk in the calendar as well? A Fining and Imprisoning Citizens Day? A Torture, War and Genocide Month?

The outrages mount: "Public employees across the U.S. and abroad take part in PSRW activities. Festivals, open houses, parades, community clean-up days, and fund-raising events to benefit charity are just some of the ways that public employees around the country reach out to their communities." And into their pockets. Let’s not forget the other ways these bozos reach out, too: in raids for drugs, guns, and immigrants, with orders, rules, regulations, and prohibitions, via surveillance, checkpoints and inspections.

The seriously masochistic can endure "the annual celebration on the National Mall in Washington, DC where over 100 federal civilian and military agencies and programs exhibited [sic]. During the event, kids are able to meet a NASA astronaut [and] climb aboard an F-16…" Hey, why not give the kiddies a real thrill by introducing them to one of the CIA’s torturers? They can literally climb a board and see what it’s like to drown slowly, in excruciating pain and panic. If the astronaut and F-16 aren’t bribery enough, children can "take home free [sic for u2018taxpayer-provided'] buttons, coloring posters, maps and puzzles" while their parents "[search] job databases of government agencies [and] receiv[e] free health screening tests…"

Leviathan’s state and local franchises join the fun. Oklahoma’s governor "encourage[s] all citizens to recognize the accomplishments and contributions of government employees at all levels in our great state" because they "carry out countless and diverse responsibilities that help maintain critical services" — seems he’s confused government’s goons with Wal-Mart’s workers … — "ensure economic growth" — …and with Wall Street’s — "protect our homeland" — could we lose the Nazi terminology, please? — "and strengthen our national security" — after endangering it with unconstitutional foreign meddling. Yo, Gov: we’ve already "recognized" those "achievements and contributions"; it’s called taxes. Though I grant you, we haven’t "recognized" them commensurate with what their harm so richly deserves. Then there’s Georgia, which "reinstated" PSRW in 2001 "in an effort to recognize the outstanding accomplishments and commitment of state of Georgia employees. … The success of Georgia government is dependent upon the efforts of its dedicated and committed employees." Ummm…what success?

Unless he’s blind, the cop who stops a driver for speeding to his minimum-wage job sees the desperation on his victim’s face as he writes a $350 ticket. The building inspector trespassing on private property while hunting a chance to fine the owner surely knows this is extortion. The slow and surly clerks at the DMV no doubt realize that drivers languish in line for tyrannical licenses only because they must. Appreciating scum like this instead of hanging them in effigy is about as servile and delusional as it gets.

The inarticulate Darryl opines, "We regularly fail to see the true result of the efforts of city and county workers, state employees and federal employees in various agencies throughout the country — our freedom." Probably because thanks to them, there isn’t any.

Becky Akers [send her mail] writes primarily about the American Revolution.

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