Spitz Hits the Pits

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I don’t know about you, but Gov. Eliot Spitzer’s peccadilloes most definitely did not suspend me "in limbo." Life saunters along quite nicely, thank you, for those of us who don’t leech off our neighbors while bossing, bullying, and bilking them. We cheer the collapse of smug sleaze like Spitz; add him as Reason #5728 to our list, "Why I Am an Anarchist"; and hope but doubt that his venality awakens Americans to government’s utter failure at every level, moral and practical. "In limbo"? More like "in laughter," and uproariously so.

Others are equally resilient: "Elmira Shirkhin, 27, who works in sales, said she wasn’t surprised. u2018It’s what you would think politicians would do,’ she said, drawing a parallel to former President Bill Clinton’s sexual dalliance with White House intern Monica Lewinsky. u2018It’s men and power. They think they can do anything and get away with it’…" Her pithy comments demonstrate a deeper appreciation for the Constitution than the Supreme Court has shown for a long, long time.

Sounds as though Elmira is weathering the crisis just fine. In contrast to Our Rulers, who cloak their jitters in solicitude for us serfs. The State Assembly’s Republican poohbah, James Tedisco, intoned that New Yorkers “cannot have this hanging over their heads." Aside from New Yorkers who are Spitzers or politicians, none did. Meanwhile, Matthew Mataraso, a lobbyist who’s haunted Albany since 1962, imagined that "This is why people lose faith in government." Actually, sensible folks never had any to start with. And if Matt says he does after 4-1/2 decades of swimming in sewage, he’s either a liar or a fool.

Alas, an inexhaustible supply of both curses Albany. The New York Republican Party’s head honcho, Joseph Mondello, urged Spitz to "resign immediately, so New York’s government can effectively return to serving its citizens.” Yeah, right. "So New York’s government can effectively return to fleecing the sheeple" is more like it. Then there’s this gem from State Senate Majority Leader Joseph Bruno: "The important thing for the people of New York State is that people in office do the right thing." Hmmm. Is this "old, senile piece of s—," as Spitz once dubbed him, implying that he and the rest of the state apparatus will resign? Somehow I doubt it.

Other thugs toss condolences like cheap trinkets at Mardi Gras. New York’s former Democratic capo Mario Cuomo called Spitz’s iniquity "an excruciating personal tragedy for the governor, his family, and the rest of our society to whom he has meant so much.” Apparently, Mario doesn’t venture down to the financial district too often. "Society" there overlooked its pain long enough to celebrate fizzleSpitz: "On Wall Street, where Spitzer built his reputation as a crusader against [alleged] shady practices and overly generous compensation, cheers and laughter erupted Monday from the trading floor when news broke of his potential ruin. … u2018The irony and the hypocrisy is [sic] almost too good to be true,’ said Bryn Dolan, a fundraiser who works with many Wall Street employees." Tellingly, Spitz didn’t "build his reputation" at the expense of New York’s real estate industry — quite the opposite, in fact. By happy coincidence, real estate is where Spitz Senior made the fortune that paid for his son’s earliest campaigns, though the ingrate lied "repeatedly" about Daddy’s financing.

Doddering Mario aside, the only "excruciating tragedy" here is that they’ll nail Client-9 for meaningless made-up "crimes" while he walks free from his real wickedness: trashing the Bill of Rights to boost his career. Remember that this creep was the political machine’s offering to voters, 69% of whom obediently pulled the lever for him. If that doesn’t topple the god Democracy, what will?

Politicians euphemize brutality and exploit misfortune. Yet these psychopaths pretend the vicious Spitz is in a class by himself. Congressman Peter King (R-NY) marveled, "I never try to take advantage or gloat over a personal tragedy. However, this is different. This is a guy who is so self-righteous, and so unforgiving.’” Ditto the thugs from Spitz’s own party. Senator Charles Schumer (D-NY) alleged, “I feel bad for him and his family but until he makes a more complete statement, I have nothing more to say.” And the monster (D-NY) whose presidential bid Spitz endorsed cried too many tears over her own troubles to spare any for his. The best she could do was this tepid pronouncement: "I obviously am sending my best wishes and thoughts to the governor and to his family.” Did either of these bozos feel half the compassion for Spitz’s victims they claim to have for him and his family?

The compassion’s misplaced when it comes to the wife, anyways. These complicit women bask in their husbands’ power and perks. They’re coddled and fawned over and invited everywhere simply because of the ring they wear. Which explains Mrs. Spitz’s first reaction upon learning that her husband had not only cheated but done so sordidly, expensively, and dangerously: she coolly urged him not to resign. There’s a reason why normal women throw the bum out but political wives stand supportively beside him as he tells the world that he betrayed her. And where was Mrs. Spitz while the bum destroyed other people’s lives? When his allegations cost Merrill Lynch $5 billion, did she welcome him home at night with a cheery "Hi, honey"? Did they discuss his "extraction" of $40 million from Canary Capital over dinner or save it for pillow talk? We do know her opinion of his siccing the State Police on a political opponent — or at least we know what her lying cheat of a husband says her opinion was. Spitz’s blatant abuse of power set even statists abuzz, yet their buzz, not his abuse, disturbed her: Spitz told the New York Times that his wife "wondered whether the job was worth the public attacks that came with it. u2018You know what she’s been telling me?’ Mr. Spitzer said. u2018She looks at me and says: u2018Do you really want this stuff? And do you want this for your kids and do you want them to see this stuff?’ … She says, you know: u2018What was wrong with going into the family business? That wouldn’t have been so bad.’" What sort of depraved dame refuses to rein in her evil spouse? Yep, the Hillary Clinton type. Keep your sympathy for taxpayers, the real victims of this travesty.

Like all good things, the state government’s "suspended animation" as it "awaited word on whether a humiliated governor would call it quits" came to an end. Spitz resigned Wednesday after threatening to "try once again, outside of politics, to serve the common good." Apparently, he hasn’t yet learned any mercy. He’s also "deeply sorry that I did not live up to what was expected of me."

Ah, but he did.

Becky Akers [send her mail] writes primarily about the American Revolution.

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