Dear Baby Boomers of America...

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following letter is addressed to the millions upon millions of Baby
Boomers who are about to retire from their jobs over the next few
years. It is written on the behalf of the generations of Americans
begotten by the Boomers.

Baby Boomers of America,

the close of this year and the opening of the next, your generation
will officially begin to transform from a generation of working
men and women into an older, retired generation. This process is
both natural and inevitable for all men who are blessed with the
gift of longevity, and you should congratulate yourselves on the
decades of hard work that partially contributed to the reward retirement
will represent for you.

this process of retirement gets underway in earnest, however, we (the younger generations of Americans who owe our existence to your
generation), would like to offer this letter of thanks for some
of the more important and indelible marks your generation has left
on the nation we shortly stand to inherit. These permanent historical
marks left by your generation will undoubtedly be recalled by future
generations with heartfelt thanks and approbation.

we would like to sincerely thank you for your indifference to the
national debt over the last thirty years and the housing market
over the past fifteen years. You taught us that consumption by your
generation today is justifiable no matter that the bill would be
footed by our generations and our children's generations. Don't
bother to deny your role in the magnificent expansion of the national
debt over the past thirty years and the astronomical expansion of
the recent housing bubble. Your generation, with its massive bulk,
played the pivotal role in electing the politicians that kept on
expanding the government's debt, and the bulk of the members of
your generation piled personal mortgage debt on credit card debt
on home equity debt. Yours is the first true generation of debt,
and for this legacy of suffocating debt your generation shall long
be remembered by future generations as they are forced to eventually
pay it off. Our generations have learned the important lesson that
consumption today is all that matters — just leave the bill for
whoever follows you, or beg the Fed to lower interest rates to create
yet another unsustainable bubble in the market. Three cheers for
debt and the Boomers!

to this, we would also like to thank your generation for finally
allowing the United States government to completely sever the tie
between the U.S. dollar and gold in the 1970's. While gold had been
used as the primary currency of the civilized world since
the dawn of time, your generation presciently saw through that scam
and submissively allowed the U.S. government to replace that precious
metal with something much more valuable; namely, green paper embossed
with solemn looking pictures. Your generation hardly whimpered when
the tie between the dollar and gold was finally cut, and for that
gracious act of omission our generations have pockets loaded with
base metal coins and wallets stuffed with reams of green paper to
thank, as well as the current green-paper-created housing bubble
and the recession it is about to cause. Your generation was quick
to recognize one of the most important economic facts imaginable:
the more green paper that enters the American economy via the Fed
and the Treasury, the higher will be our standard of living. Green
paper equals wealth! You finally put to rest the old bugaboo that
wealth comes from real savings and investment, clearing the
way for a brave new world of wealth creation simply by printing
paper. If only there were even more green paper (e.g., a rate cut
by the Fed this year), we would all have bigger and nicer houses!
Three cheers for green paper, and three more for the Boomers who
passively allowed it to replace gold!

a similar vein, we would very much like to thank your generation's
failure to do away with Social Security and the other entitlement
programs that make America so great today. Previous generations
had claimed that Social Security is nothing more than a ridiculous
Ponzi scheme orchestrated by an inept and bankrupt socialist bureau
that merely steals from the young in order to give to the old; but
your generation, in its wisdom, did nothing to reform or abolish
this program. Consequently, the tens of millions of you aging Boomers
who are about to retire expect our young generations to meekly submit
to the massive taxation that will inexorably be required to fund
your Social Security checks. Your generation has taught ours that
it is a right for the elderly to take whatever they want
from the working young (no matter how irresponsible the elderly
have personally been in saving for retirement). You don't have to
worry, we won't mind working our hands raw to pay your tens of millions
of Social Security checks; on the contrary, we can't wait until
we retire ourselves, so that we can take even more from our own
grandchildren! Three more cheers for Social Security, the Boomers,
and the elderly stealing from the young!

generation has done a great deal more than that, moreover, to teach
our generations about morality, and for which we are eternally grateful.
Your generation has taught ours that abortion, welfare, child support,
and alimony are God-given rights (and that we should simply ignore
the horrendous effects of these policies on the American family),
but smoking tobacco is one of the greatest evils in the history
of the world. While some might view your crusade against tobacco
as revoltingly hypocritical (since your generation smoked an heroic
amount of relatively tax-free tobacco only a few decades ago — among
other plants), we, on the contrary, view your paternalistic persecution
of us young smokers as a great gift to mankind. Don't think for
a moment that we will forget your beneficence in making tobacco
so expensive and socially marginalized through taxation and regulation,
for we young smokers will be constantly reminded of this gift as
we toil away at our jobs in order to pay your Social Security checks
without being able to afford the cigarettes that might make our
work for you tolerable. Three more cheers for abortion, alimony,
welfare and the Boomers' gift of smoker persecution!

generation is owed even more thanks for its total failure to do
away with the war on drugs over the past three decades. Your generation's
monstrous consumption of drugs in the 1960's is simply too well
known to need recounting, but you fortunately came to your senses
in the 1980's and did nothing to stop the government's merciless
persecution of younger generations of drug consumers. Few indeed
have been the Boomers who have fought for drug legalization since
the 60's. While this may at first glance appear to be yet another
instance of the most vile form of hypocrisy imaginable, we younger
generations don't view your silence and indifference in that way.
On the contrary, we thank you for your silence while hundreds of
thousands from our generations are carted away to prison for consuming
the very same substances your generation grew famous for, because
this has given us a giant and glorious police state that is required
for these persecutions. If only you had managed to create even more
police and prisons! Future generations will undoubtedly thank yours
for standing idly by while the government of the United States violently
persecuted your own children and your children's children for doing
the same things you did in the 60's. Three more cheers for the indifferent
silence of the reformed druggie Boomers!

generation has taught ours even more invaluable lessons with regard
to war. During the 1960's and 1970's many in your generation succumbed
to the ridiculous idea that the Vietnam War was morally illegitimate,
as was any pointless war that did not involve actual self-defense
against an imminent threat. Fortunately, your generation woke up
from this anti-war delusion and remained silent or even cheered
while Ronald Reagan invaded a slew of Latin American countries,
George Bush Sr. invaded Iraq, Bill Clinton invaded Haiti, Bosnia,
and Somalia, and George Bush Jr. invaded Afghanistan and Iraq. (Thankfully,
your generation was filled with numerous vociferous defenders of
the current Iraq and Afghanistan wars, without whose support Bush
Jr. never would have undertaken such pointless and costly invasions).
In fact, since the conclusion of the Vietnam War the U.S. has scarcely
gone two years without fighting or invading some obscure country
or another, and we have the passive acquiescence or open support
of the Boomers to thank for it. In short, through your passivity
and open support your generation critically assisted in the transformation
of America into the grand warmongering and widely despised nation
it is today. Future generations shall undeniably be eternally grateful
for this as well — assuming that they live through the future wars
that are likely to be engendered by your past belligerency. Three
more cheers for the post-Vietnam warmongering Boomers!

your generation did not restrict itself to growing the power of
the U.S. government through warfare abroad. On the contrary, your
generation was instrumental in expanding the power of the U.S. government
through wide-ranging gun control at home that has helped to make
guns in America much more feared, expensive, and rare over the past
thirty years. Indeed, all previous generations of Americans viewed
gun ownership as the last, best bulwark against government oppression,
but not you Boomers! On the contrary, you scored a double blow on
individual liberty by not only helping to grow the size and power
of the United States government in every conceivable sphere, but
also helped to take away vast numbers of weapons with which our
generations might have been able to fight government oppression
in the future. How can we express our gratitude for both helping
to grow the government into the largest, most powerful, and most
dangerous threat to our generations, and also disarming us? Suffice
it to say, that it is impossible to thank you enough for these boons,
and so we shall never thank you. Three more cheers for disarmed
and helpless grandchildren, an ever more powerful and dangerous
State, and, of course, the Boomers who made this utopia possible!

Boomers may be saying to yourselves, "We don't deserve credit
for these glorious advances for the homeland. It was the government
that was responsible for these acts, not us. You should be praising
the far-seeing and wise government of the United States rather than
our generation." This attempt to shift the burden of responsibility
onto the government would be wrong for at least two important reasons.
First, it was your behemoth generation of Boomers who played the
pivotal role in electing the wise and virtuous politicians who have
wrought these wondrous changes on America over the last three decades
(and who among us can doubt the virtue of the politicians elected
by the Boomers over the last thirty years?). If your generation
had not flexed its massive numerical muscle in the elections that
brought us that cabal of virtuous politicians, these wonderful changes
never would have been possible. Second, and even more important,
is the fact that you Boomers have almost universally rejected the
libertarian principles of individual liberty, peace, and private
property that this nation was founded upon and which acted in previous
generations as a bulwark against the statist programs just discussed.
This country was founded upon two critical and related ideas: 1)
that taxation and the State in general are horrendously dangerous
threats to individual liberty, peace, and private property, and
must be vigilantly battled at all costs, and 2) that private property
and individual liberty are the greatest goods in the world — to
be defended by force of arms and with our very lives, if necessary.
Yet, you Boomers almost universally rejected these principles. You
passively accepted whatever new taxes happened to come into existence
(there are now too many taxes for us young people to count, thank
God!), and you silently accepted the growth of the State in every
conceivable direction. If you had not rejected the libertarian principles
of individual liberty, peace and private property, your politicians
would never have been brazen enough to try the harebrained socialist
schemes listed above. In short, because you Boomers did virtually
nothing to stop the progression of statism and economic interventionism
over the past thirty years, your generation is responsible for the
construction of the wonderful America you shall shortly bequeath
to us; a debt-ridden, tax-ridden, war-ridden, disarmed, heavily-policed,
goldless and green-paper-flooded nation that is currently at war
with two others and which is about to plunge into a gut-wrenching
recession thanks to your green-paper-created housing bubble. Indeed,
your generation continues to do nothing to combat statism, warmongering
and economic interventionism even unto today (all of which are nearly
perfectly embodied in the warmongering Giuliani and the socialist
Clinton; both of whom, if I am not mistaken, are Baby Boomers).
The vast, vast majority of Boomers, for example, flatly refuse to
support virtuous and principled libertarians like Republican presidential
candidate Dr. Ron Paul, and his intention to resurrect the principles
of sound money, peace, individual liberty, and much, much, much
smaller government.

don't feign humility, and don't try to shift the "ache of guilt,"
(to use a phrase from J. Glenn Gray's excellent book The Warriors),
onto the government. It was your giant generation of warmongering,
interventionist, statist, and oblivious Baby Boomers that is responsible
for the creation of the debt-ridden and warmongering nation we stand
to inherit. Our generations have little to offer in remuneration
for your final abandonment of the libertarian principles this country
was founded upon. (What, indeed, could we do to thank you for the
existence of the massive and dangerous state that totally envelops
our hapless young generations today?) We can only hope that the
billions upon billions of hours of work we will be forced to do
over the next ten years, by the government you have foisted on us
(in order to involuntarily pay the taxes that will fund your Social
Security checks, buy your myriad Medicare-funded "legal"
drugs, pay for your myriad and ridiculous welfare programs, pay
down your national debt, pay off the bills from your wars, pay to
imprison more pot smokers from our generations, pay the police to
take away more of our guns, et cetera ad nauseam), will be
sufficient to express our gratitude.

Brokaw be damned — yours is truly "The Greatest Generation."

X, Y, & Etc.

18, 2007

Mark R.
Crovelli [send him mail]
writes from Denver, Colorado.

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