The Neocon Song

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(paraphrased
and sung to the tune of the I-95 song usually attributed to Jimmy
Buffett but allegedly written by Fred (August) Campbell — so who
ever it was who wrote it – thanks for letting me borrow it)

(Spoken)

Well I was
readin’ in the paper just the other night.
And I read an op-ed piece by Charles Krauthammer, or Max Boot, or
Victor Davis Hanson — Hell, I don't remember his name but he was
one of those war heroes who somehow never found the time or the
cojones to actually get shot at…
And what he wrote was pretty damned stupid and kinda made me mad

But I decided
it wasn’t gonna do any good for me to get mad.

Because I wanted
to keep this on a professional level
So I wrote a song about him instead.

It goes like
this…

Were you born
an idiot?
Or did you work at it your whole life?
Either way it worked out fine
’cause you’re an idiot tonight.

Yes you’re
an Eye Dee Eye Oh Tee…
And don’t you try to blame it on me.
You deserve all the credit.
You’re an idiot tonight.

You were an
idiot yesterday.
You’re an idiot tonight.
And I’ve got a feelin’
you’ll be an idiot the rest of your life.

And I was talkin’
to your mother
just the other night.
I told her I thought you were an idiot.
She said, “Yes. I think you’re right.”

And all your
friends are idiots
’cause you’ve known them your whole life.
And somebody told me
you’ve got an idiot for a wife.

Were you born
an idiot?
Or did you work at it your whole life?
Either way it worked out fine
’cause you’re an idddd – iot tonight.

July
20, 2007

George
Gould [send him mail] is
a retired Imperial Storm Trooper and 2nd place finisher in the Southeast
Asia War Games.  He writes from Valrico, Florida and Falls
Church, Virginia.

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