Get an Absentee Ballot!

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Are you worried about fraud at the polls? Ah… you must live where electronic voting machines are being used. Are they the ones made by Diebold? If so, that is all the more reason to be uneasy.

If you are a staunch Republican Bush supporter fear not! I have no doubt your party line Republican vote will be correctly counted as you wish. Of course, if you are a Democrat or, God forbid, a Libertarian, or even a member of the Bull Moose Party, you might have cause for concern.

Electronic voting machines are, in the words of my hard-core Midwestern Republican, Information Technologies expert buddy, a "formula for disaster." Indeed they are. They can be easily hacked as some researchers at Princeton University recently proved.

Electronic voting machines are not in the best interests of the Nation. They are only in the best interests of those who would abuse them to gain power. As Josef Stalin, another notorious dictator, allegedly once said: "Those who cast the votes decide nothing. Those who count the votes decide everything." And that is exactly the problem and concern with electronic voting machines. We already have at least one Presidential election that may have been stolen. Remember Ohio in 2004?

So what do you do? Vote with a baseball bat? Well, that’s a good idea but not really practical. Instead, request an absentee ballot. It’s not hard to do and many states don’t even ask why you want one. In fact the Democratic Party has even made up a website that simplifies the process.

Some states may ask for an excuse and give you a choice of them. Now, I would never, never suggest making up an excuse. That would be lying and we don’t do that in American politics… unless of course you are running for or holding an office. But that’s the subject of a future diatribe. Do not lie! Just use "creative logic." Call in sick. Take a day trip, whatever. We’ve been lied to so much it’s only fair. Besides, if you check something like: "I will not be in my precinct that day" simply arrange not to be. If you’ve already sent in your absentee ballot you don’t need to hang around.

So here it is again in a nutshell. If you are seriously concerned your vote will not go to the candidate of your choice, and you should be, because of electronic voting machine hacking, get an absentee ballot now! Just to be sure, here is the link for the third time.

Elizabeth Gyllensvard edited this article.

Tom Chartier [send him mail] played lead guitar in legendary Los Angeles punk band The Rotters for 26 years until their final appearance in January of 2004. He has lived in Tokyo and Los Angeles. Currently he resides somewhere in the Caribbean.

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