Phone Call

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As I was cruising through my favorite web sites last night, my web browser suddenly went blank and seemed to freeze up. I thought, here we go again, the computer is crashing. But no, the audio came through loud and clear. Somehow I had stumbled across some kind of surveillance center. Here is what I recorded.

"Hello, Mr. Casinovich? This is Lewis at the RVSPKVTV polling center. Would you answer a few questions?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Are you registered to vote?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Are you a Republican or Democrat?"

"Uh, oooooooo."

"Was that a no?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Then you are an independent?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Okay. Tell me, Mr. Casinovich, do you have a speech problem? This is off the record, of course."

"Uh, yeah."

"I see. Thank you. I’ll try to keep things simple here. Will you vote for the Republicans this year?"

"Uh, oooooooo."

"Okay, that’s a no. How about the Democrats?"

"Uh, oooooooo."

"I see. Okay, let’s see how you rate the nations problems. Is war high in your list?"

"Uh, yeah."

"How about gas prices?"

"Uh, yeah."

"The environment?"

"Hhoo, yeah."

"Do you think same-sex marriage is a problem?"

Here there is a moment of silence except for a strange panting sound.

"Mr. Casinovich? Hello? Are you there?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Well, do you think that’s a problem?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Thank you. Now I’d like to ask …"

The interview was interrupted at this point by a background disturbance and all I could distinctly hear was a man’s voice saying, "Honey, the damned dog is on the phone again."

(Thanks to the Houston Chronicle.)

Robert Klassen [send him mail] retired from a forty-year career in critical-care respiratory therapy. He is the author of five books, including Atlantis: A Novel about Economic Government, and Economic Government, which describe a solution to the problem of political government. Here’s his web site.

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