Frogs and Fraud, a Fable

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Fables: The Frogs Ask for a King

The Frogs,
unhappy that they had no established Ruler, petitioned Jupiter
for a King. Realizing the Frogs were simple-minded and didn’t
know what was good for them, Jupiter threw down a huge log. The
Frogs were terrified by the splash the log made and hid in the
depths of their pond. But once they realized the huge log did
nothing but sit there, they began squatting on it in contempt.
After a while they felt neglected by such an inert Ruler, and
asked Jupiter to send them another, so Jupiter sent them an Eel.
When the Frogs discovered the Eel’s easygoing nature, they asked
Jupiter to send yet another. Jupiter, enraged by the Frogs’ ingratitude,
sent the Frogs a Heron, who gobbled up the Frogs one after another,
until none were left to croak upon the pond.

Fraud, Conventionally Defined

We all know
what the term "election fraud" means, conventionally

fraud means inflating one’s own vote count or deflating the opposition’s
vote count during the ballot casting stage by stuffing invalid
ballots into the ballot boxes, or by removing valid ballots from
the ballot boxes and hiding or destroying them.

fraud means inflating one’s own vote count and deflating the opposition’s
vote count during the ballot counting stage, physically by sleight
of hand, or arithmetically by creative accounting.

fraud means preventing eligible voters from voting even once,
while enabling ineligible voters to vote twice, thrice, or even
more, physically by naked intimidation, or legally by procedural

fraud, in short, means interfering with the election process so
as to ensure that the final vote count fails to reflect the actual
votes cast, or would have been cast in the absence of interference
with the election process.


Steering Wheel on Infant Car Seat


Fraud, Realistically Defined

universalists, for whom democracy is a secular religion, and "free
and fair elections" its holiest sacrament, would have us
believe that granting citizens of a nation "the right to
vote" safeguards their natural rights and individual liberty.

In fact,
"the right to vote" is nothing more than one of those
toy steering wheels mounted on infant car seats that give infants
the illusion they are actually driving the vehicle.

universalists denounce "election fraud." But at a deeper,
more fundamental level, all elections are fraudulent, including
elections that precisely reflect the number of votes cast.

All elections
are fraudulent because they delude the electorate into believing
that the privilege of voting out Elective Dictator A and replacing
him with Elective Dictator B actually makes a difference.

All elections,
including "free and fair elections" in "advanced
democracies" are fraudulent because they fail to provide
the electorate with "public servants" who actually serve
the public.

In fact,
they do the exact opposite.

In fact,
elections turn the electorate into indentured servants of elected
officials, physically coerced by the machinery of government –
tax collectors backed up by armed police – to support the
elected official against the electorate’s wishes.

to popular belief, elections do not safeguard the interests of
the electorate. They safeguard the interests of elected officials.
Elections are rubberstamps that allow elective dictators to claim
"The People have granted me a mandate!" therefore "I
speak for The People!"

and Practice

theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In
practice there is."

Yogi Berra

in Theory:

election is a decision making process whereby people vote for
preferred political candidates or parties to act as representatives
in government. This is the usual mechanism by which modern democracy
fills offices in the legislature, and sometimes in the executive
and judiciary, and in regional and local government. In political
theory, the authority of the government in democracies derives
solely from the consent of the governed. The principal mechanism
for translating that consent into governmental authority is the
holding of free and fair elections."

Wikipedia, as quoted by

in Practice:

An election
is a mindless process whereby "sheeple" (people who
behave like sheep) choose their own oppressors. Elections are
the mechanism by which modern democracy fills political offices
with elective dictators. In theory, democracy’s elective dictators
answer to "The People." In practice, since there is
no such thing as "The People," democracy’s elective
dictators answer only to themselves. The principal mechanism for
translating the consent of the victim into governmental oppression
is the holding of "free and fair elections."

Officials Are Not Public Servants

Elected officials
are commonly referred to as "public servants." Elected
officials, ostensibly, are servants whom the electorate hires
and fires at its discretion.

But are they

An American
president, elected in accordance with America’s presidential system,
is for all intents and purposes, an emperor. An elective emperor,
but an emperor nonetheless.

What is the
presidential inauguration ceremony but a coronation? What is the
White House, but the royal palace? What are Air Force One, Marine
One, and the bulletproof black Cadillac limousines, but royal
carriages? What is the US Secret Service but the Praetorian Guard?

The last
time you hired a servant, did you commemorate the event with an
inauguration ceremony? The last time you hired a servant, did
you provide your servant with a stately mansion more spacious
than your own tract house? The last time you hired a servant,
did you provide your servant with a chauffeured limousine more
luxurious than your own aging subcompact? The last time you hired
a servant, did you provide your servant with armed bodyguards,
with orders to shoot anyone who approached without permission,
including you?


Then let’s
not kid ourselves. Elected officials are not "public servants."

are Frogs, Officials are Herons

is the theory that the common people know what they want and deserve
to get it good and hard."

HL Mencken

The widespread
belief that our relationship with our "public servants"
is the same as our relationship with our servants in the private
sector is pathetic self-delusion.

When we hire
servants, we become the servants’ employers, and the servants
become our employees. If we are dissatisfied with our servants’
performance, we simply tell them, "Thank you, but your services
are no longer required."

When we elect
a president, we are not hiring a "public servant."

Are you able
to tell US President George W. Bush or ROC "President"
Chen Shui-bian, "Thank you, but your services are no longer

When we elect
a president, we are like the Frogs in the Aesop’s ancient yet
prescient fable, "The Frogs Ask for a King." Not content
to enjoy our precious freedom, we foolishly demand "good
government" instead. We foolishly demand "democracy"
and the right to vote ourselves into servitude and oblivion.

Life without

believe that all government is evil, in that all government must
necessarily make war upon liberty."

HL Mencken

what do you suggest instead of democracy?" democratic universalists
will ask, "You certainly complain a lot. But what’s your
alternative? Or don’t you have one?"

In fact the
alternative is right under our noses.

The alternative
is to learn from the Frogs, from their fatal assumption that they
needed a Ruler, hereditary, elective, or otherwise.


Black Flag of Anarchy


The alternative
is to realize that We the People, aka the Frogs, never should
have petitioned Jupiter for Herons, Eels, or even Logs in the
first place. We don’t need them. Never did.

The alternative
is to realize that the right to choose which Heron who will gobble
us up is not a hard-won prize, but a booby prize.

universalists concerned about "election fraud" are Frogs
who worry about whether Jupiter is sending them the Ruler they
asked for.

What they
should be asking themselves is, "Why should we petition Jupiter
for a Ruler at all?"

17, 2006

Chu [send him mail] is an
American architect of Chinese descent registered to practice in
Texas. Currently living and working in Taiwan, Chu is the son
of a retired high-ranking diplomat with the ROC (Taiwan) government.
His column, “The Strait Scoop” is published on his website, The
China Desk

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