And The Winner Is…

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Jumpin’ gee hosafats! I’ve got it! I have seen the light and it’s about as pretty as a smashed armadillo on a Texas highway!

I know who our next president will be. Can you guess? I can! I have total confidence I am right. Since the 2000 u201Celection,u201D when George W. Bush snatched (a polite word for stole), the title of POTUS, it has been all too easy to predict everything stupid he’s done. This time, brothers and sisters, I really hope my predictions are wrong.

Envelope Opening Time! Who will be taking the oath of office in 2008? Hang on to your hats. It’s a shocker. The winner will be… George W. Bush!

Ok now, stop laughing. Peace-niks, please put down those hara-kiri knives. And you war-mongering sickos, cut out the cheering. I know, I know, it’s totally absurd, right? Wrong! It’s a worst-case, nightmare scenario. And, I see no way to stop it.

Sure, the President is limited to two terms in office. Sure, Bush’s approval rating has plummeted to 33%. Many people describe Dubya as u201Cincompetent.u201D He’s looking more like imPOTUS all the time. So what?

A third term would be impossible you say? It’s not. The two-term limit is relatively new. Franklin D. Roosevelt was elected four times. He had to die before he’d leave office. There’s no law stating Congress can’t repeal the two-term limit. I expect them to do this. They might even find a reason not to hold an election at all!

Besides, Bush has shown that as far as he is concerned, he’s above the law. Foreign Surveillance and Intelligence Act? What’s that? Who cares anyway! I gotta git mah war on! The Little Dictator is going to continue to get his jollies by ordering his hound dogs to sniff around in everybody’s dirty underwear. Come hell or high water, the U.S. Constitution be damned! It’s just a piece of paper. Geneva Conventions? Outdated and just plain u201Cquaint.u201D We got some torturing to do!

You’d think Congress and the American people would be screaming bloody murder at the prospect of having their email and phone conversations snooped and human rights violated. Well, in fact some American patriots are rather upset. But does Congress represent the majority of the voting public? No way, no how! Behold: four sheep dressed up as u201Csenatorsu201D have introduced a bill to make Bush’s illegal spying program legal! Well, that will put the kaibosh on any sniveling constituents!

What does a measly little old two-term limit mean to a self-proclaimed u201Cwar president,u201D the man who swore to uphold the law above which he has placed himself? Not a damned thing… just like that little oath he took.

Now, regarding those appalling poll numbers, they can be changed overnight. Sweet are the uses of fear. Bring on the right incident and the voters will be clamoring for four more years of the Retarded Cowboy Bush.

That is exactly what I expect. There will be another u201Cincident.u201D It will be another one of those u201CPearl Harbor-like incidentsu201D for which, as far back as 2000, many a prayer had been sent up to the Lord All Mighty by the neoconservative insane asylum, a.k.a., the Project for the New American Century.

That’s right, one year before September 11, 2001, PNAC’s foaming at the mouth Empire builders, who just happen to be a whole bunch of Bush backers like Dickey Cheney, Donny Rumsfeld and even u201CScooteru201D Libby, actually hoped for some sort of major crisis which would advance their goals.

Well, they got one. Trouble is, now they need another. Oh sure, a few of the rats are have jumped ship and are swimming to shore.

However, rest assured, the remaining rodents are going to stay the course and spin ever faster on the hamster wheel of doom. The PNAC has no intention of withdrawing anybody from anywhere ever and abandoning their agenda. That would be admitting they were wrong.

Of course this means something’s going to have to blow! Yeah baby! I’m not the only one to think so. Even Paul Craig Roberts, who has tons more credibility than I ever will, has suggested this. A whole bunch of new fear, terror and propaganda will surely whip up that old National Security frenzy all over again. Nazi Minister of Propaganda, Joseph Goebbels said, you can get the population to go along with anything you want simply u201Cby raising the specter of National Security.u201D You can expect that specter to be raised again sooner rather than later.

It’s happened before. Democratically elected Adolph Hitler and the Nazis took full advantage of the burning of the Reichstag to secure more power. It’s possible they even set the fire deliberately. George W. Bush, backed by his Neocon Empire machine will find a new National Security incident to exploit. Yee ha! Ride ‘em cowboy! A state of emergency will be declared. POTUS will pressure Congress into repealing the two-term limit. Of course Bush will run again and just as in the past, he will u201Cwin.u201D

Even more frightening, George Bush can single-handedly decide, by himself, the situation is such an emergency he needs to enact certain u201Cnational security measures.u201D

That will give him total control over all government decisions with absolutely no checks and balances. This too is much like Hitler’s Enabling Act, the final step that secured Hitler’s dictatorship.

The Republic will become just another dictatorship.

And tell me if I’m wrong. Isn’t stopping dictatorships a big part of the excuse for the invasion of Iraq? Well, hell, u201Cif you tell a lie and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it.u201D

Mark my words; George D. Bush will be u201Cre-electedu201D in 2008, by hook or by crook. He will be the last u201Celectedu201D president of the Republic formerly known as The United States of America. But, to quote Dennis Miller, u201Cthat’s just my opinion. I could be wrong.u201D I sure do hope so.

u201CThe people who cast the votes decide nothing. The people who count the votes decide everything.u201D Joseph Stalin.

Edited by Elizabeth Gyllensvard.

Tom Chartier [send him mail] played lead guitar in legendary Los Angeles punk band The Rotters for 26 years until their final appearance in January of 2004. He has lived in Tokyo, Japan as well as Los Angeles working in the entertainment industry. He is the primary caregiver of his ten-year-old son and currently resides on Grand Cayman Island in the Caribbean.

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