I Hate Kids

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"If you understand, things are just as they are… If you do not understand, things are just as they are…."

~ Zen Saying

I love children. I hate kids.

Children are soft, tranquil, innocent, and close to God. Kids are wild, noisy, guilty, and servants of the devil.

Children sleepily come, give you a hug, a kiss, and say, "I love you." Kids scream, stomp their feet, make you lose your temper, and say, "I abhor you."

Children are curious, virtuous, and immaculate. They attract you and make you want to protect them. Kids are wicked, conniving, and filthy. They repel you and make you want to throw stones at them.

Children trust. Kids deride.

Children are sincere. They share. Kids are pretentious. They are jealous.

Children are beautiful. Kids are as ugly as hell.

I love children; I enjoy watching them play outside. I hate kids; I wish their parents would put them in a box.

And the kid I dislike the most, I see much too often. He is a conceited brat that fights with different kids in full view. I dread it when he’s screeching and screaming with others.

I wish that kid never saw the light of day again. I really loathe him. He is the worst kid I know; for he resides within me.

Mike (in Tokyo) Rogers [send him mail] was born and raised in the USA and moved to Japan in 1984. He has the distinction of being fired from every FM radio station in Tokyo — one of them three times. His first book, Schizophrenic in Japan, is now on sale.

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