Pennsylvania is one of about a dozen states where liquor sales are under the absolute control of the state at both the wholesale and retail level. This state monopoly (which features limited selection and convenience), is universally despised by consumers, yet none seem angered enough to take their revulsion of this Prohibition-era system one step further, and growl at the state government itself.
One only has to view the Pennsylvania Liquor Control Board’s (PLCB) mission statement to inhale the vile stench of government lies and Orwellian platitudes. See for yourself. Here direct quotes from the government’s mouth, followed by my interpretations:
“The mission of the Liquor Control Board is to regulate the alcohol beverage industry in a fair and consistent manner; provide the best service to its customers through modern, convenient outlets, superior product selection and competitive prices in a controlled environment; and to provide factual information on alcohol and its effects through a comprehensive alcohol education program.” Translation: We’ll do what we want, sell you what we want, where we want, and teach you all about alcohol because you’re too dumb to figure it out for yourselves.”
“The Liquor Control Board controls the manufacture, possession, sale, consumption, importation, use, storage, transportation and delivery of liquor, alcohol and malt or brewed beverages in the Commonwealth.” Translation: We are central planners in the grand tradition of Josef Stalin. Hope you like it.
“All bottle sales of wines and spirits in Pennsylvania, with the exception of sales by licensed limited wineries, are made through approximately 637 State Liquor Stores operated by the Liquor Control Board.” Translation: In a state with 46,000 square miles and 12,000,000 people, you can only buy bottles of liquor or wine at one of our “highly convenient” outlets, each one serving, on average, an area of 72 square miles and 18,838 people.
“Revenues from the sale of wines and spirits cover the cost of merchandise sold in the stores, all costs of operating the Liquor Control Board and the cost of operating the Office of the Comptroller for the Board. Additionally, these revenues fund the costs of the Pennsylvania State Police Bureau of Liquor Control Enforcement and provide funding to the Pennsylvania Department of Health to support drug and alcohol programs.” Translation: Liquor would cost you a lot less if you didn’t have to pay these not-so-hidden taxes.
“Expanded customer service has also resulted from passage of Act 212 of 2002, which amended the Liquor Code to allow for… a two-year pilot on Sunday sales in 10% of State stores.” Translation: If you’re very lucky, you can buy a bottle of wine on Sunday now.
“Act 212 of 2002, along with Act 1 of 2003, allow for the sale of wine accessories and trade publications, while Act 15 of 2003 provided for the sale of liquor accessories.” Translation: We now graciously allow you to buy a corkscrew with your wine, if you need one.
“The Board licenses private establishments that make retail sales of alcoholic beverages by the drink and regulates the sale of malt and brewed beverages by licensing the distributors, restaurants, hotels and clubs that sell these items.” Translation: Kiss our asses or we’ll put you out of business.
“The Liquor Control Board has established an important Nuisance Bar Program to ensure the safety and security of our citizens…. If it is determined that a licensed business has abused its license privilege and, through its conduct or record of violations, demonstrates a pattern of activities that threatens the health and safety of the local community, the Liquor Control Board will refuse to renew its license.” Translation: If your clientele makes any kind of ruckus, we’ll also put you out of business.
Every so often in Pennsylvania there’s a “let’s get the state out of the liquor business” revival. The population is all for it, of course, but nothing is ever done. It has been suggested (but not by the insipid news media) that the PLCB is a “retirement home” for corrupt politicians, which would neatly account for its invulnerability to abolishment. Meanwhile, the consumer needs merely to drive to any neighboring “free liquor” state to see the amazing difference in price and, especially, selection, to understand why any state monopoly is inferior to free-market capitalism.
December 3, 2005
Andrew S. Fischer has worked in various fields.
