Back in the Belly of the Beast

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an old saying: when you live in the belly of the beast, all you
can see is a bit of the stomach lining. When you live outside the
beast, you see the whole beast. I've been expatriate since 1995;
I confess it took me about five years to see America as though it
were a foreign country, but now, when I hear an American accent
on the radio, it sounds foreign. If it happens to belong to a member
of the current national administration, it usually sounds arrogant,
too, much as those Hollywood propaganda flick Nazis sounded as they
crowed about their conquests and plans for a new Europe. One final
word about me: I live on the remote temperate South Pacific island
of Tasmania, one of the states of the Commonwealth of Australia,
a large island 100 miles due south of Melbourne. I like living here.
The climate suits growing vegetables year round and my particular
microclimate is so gentle that I have a thriving lemon tree. Tassie
is about as far from the troubles of the world as one can get; and
would be further than that but for our glorious leader, John Howard,
a loyal minion of GWB who has gotten us into all sorts of needless
security concerns on account of it.

the end of July this year my father died. No sympathies needed;
he was nearly 90-years-old, had been quite sick for over a year,
and his passing was a relief to all concerned, him included. But
my 87-year-old mother deserved a visit, as did a daughter in Oregon.
So I mastered my considerable fear and loathing and booked tickets
on Qantas for the shortest possible visitu2014nine days.

at LAX our mob rushed for customs, with a white-shirted guard every
fifty feet along the corridor. Approaching the area there was a
red line painted down the hall parallel to the wall. This line wasn't
in the middle of the hall, but close to one side. All non-US passport
holders were directed, rudely, loudly, and authoritatively to line
up inside the line. Those of us who had the dubious honor of having
to report to the IRS about our worldwide incomes and of being
born in the States, were ushered past. As I walked by the Immigration
booths I saw literally hundreds, maybe one thousand non-citizens
in this endless queue, where I had heard they were fingerprinted
and photographed and checked against computer databases of "terrorists"
and other forms of undesirables. On the other hand, my document
inspection consisted of a 30-second wait, a quick machine scan of
my passport, and a pleasantly delivered "welcome to the United
States." Customs inspection for me was just as perfunctory.

felt ashamed. I felt somehow responsible for the harsh and unpleasant
treatment being accorded to those non-citizens in the other line.
If I were a non-citizen I would think three times before deciding
to come to the States and be put through that discourtesy.

caught a taxi to my mother's apartment. The driver was from Iran,
a Muslim, with pretty good English. When he found out I lived in
Australia and found the current war in Iraq reprehensible, he opened
up to me. One thing he said: he had not been able to speak frankly
with any of his passengers for years. At the end I got his email
address and have put him on a list run by a Tasmanian cyberactivist
who circulates what probably constitute true news reportage, such
as the views and opinions found on Lew Rockwell's website. I felt
honored by his trust.

first thing I noticed was the LA Times sitting on the breakfast
table. Not having seen an American newspaper for years, I gave it
a quick scan, my attention drawn to two articles about Iraq. In
one I saw a large photo of happy school children whose school had
been built by American money and who were getting an education in
freedom now that Saddam had been deposed. This did not square with
what I had been reading in Australia. The next article was a mob
of happy Iraqi military waving their weapons in jubilation because
they had been given control of their district by the Americans,
who had armed and trained them. This also did not jibe with what
I had learned elsewhere. I had the feeling I was reading a Berlin
newspaper of a vintage 1940. And I clipped these articles to bring
home to astonish my friends, to show them what a distorted version
of anti-American viewpoints we were getting on the internet.

a few days catching up with my family I returned to LAX to fly to
Portland, Oregon, for a few days visiting. I had never seen such
security concern. There was a minor booking glitch; I boarded with
a one-way ticket. Because of that I was automatically classified
as high risk. Not just shoes off and pockets emptied and laptop
removed from case for separate inspection. I was taken to a nearby
table and my entire body carefully scanned with a hand scanner,
my pants half dropped (after all, I could have had a belly band
concealing a ceramic knife or other sort of plastic fantastic weapon).
Again I was surprised to see so many people wearing those snazzy
white Homeland Security shirts and drawing government salaries.
The thought came to mind: when people are employed by the government
you can count on them to support that government. But what a waste
of resources, all those people, creating "security." What
they were really doing was creating more a feeling of insecurity.

the plane, in the seat next to mine, was a pleasant, attractive
woman about my age (60) who seemed rather sad. We chatted. She said
she well knew Tasmania; had been there and acknowledged how lucky
I was to live there. I asked about her and she mentioned among other
things that her nephew had returned from military service in Iraq
and was mysteriously sick, seriously so. I asked her if she knew
anything about depleted uranium weapons. No, she said, what is that?
So I explained what her media had never bothered to mention. As
the full implications of DU hit her, tears began running down her
face, tears of grief and shame. I knew well the feelings. We discussed
what might be done to end this criminal behavioru2014and I took her
email address to put on that cyberactivist's list. I was starting
to feel like a subversive "virus" running through the
American Body Politic.

to Los Angeles, I had learned enough to make sure when checking
in that my boarding pass showed that originally I had purchased
a round trip ticket and consequently, had a less rigorous inspection
going through "security." Obviously, were I someone of
evil intent trying to carry something prohibited on to an aircraft
I would have invested in a round trip ticket and not a one-way.
And I had visions of a half a dozen foolproof ways to destroy an
aircraft (and myself) had I had a mind to accomplish that. "Security?"
Hah! Just turn a writer with a good imagination loose on that delusion.

a few more days in LA and it was time to go home. I was hugely relieved
that the Bush administration, helped by Katrina, had not needed
to create a huge terrorist incident to distract the populace from
the talk of his impeachment or of charges being filed against high-level
insiders for the outing of Valerie Plame because had such a thing
happened, at best I might have found my flight delayed, my stay
in the USA prolonged. And at worse, I might have been rolled up
and found myself behind barbed wire in the desert somewhere with
hundreds of thousands of other dissidents, who got there because
their names were on some list or other.

back in another taxi to LAX, this time driven by an Iraqi Muslim
whose sentiments, after he found out I was an "Australian,"
turned out to be much like the driver who brought me from LAX a
few days earlier. His email too, was offered, and he was put on
the list. The virus strikes again.

finally, the point of this little essay, I am back at LAX, international
departure terminal. I have never seen such a mob. Thousands of people.
Long, unmoving lines everywhere, resigned suffering people putting
up with indignities to get somewhere. I find the Qantas area. I
find someone working for Qantas who can direct me to the correct
queue. I queue up and wait about 45 minutes to reach check in. I
get my boarding pass and am directed to the next queue where my
bags will be inspected and checked in. I want to protest but know
that if I make any smart-alecky remarks I'll likely be yanked from
the queue and threatened with arrest and charges for insubordination.
So instead, I comment loudly to my queuemates about how safe I am
feeling, so incredibly safe with all those white-shirted security
folks around. This gets a few chuckles.

second queue moves even slower than the first. After about an hour
my bags are swabbed with specially treated cloth which is put into
a machine that certifies that explosive chemicals are not present.
Then a little Homeland Security sticker is affixed to the bags and
they are accepted for loading on my plane. And then I can go to
the boarding areas, but first…there is another queue, this one of
the sort I have become accustomed to. I whip out my laptop, strip
off my shoes, remove belt and every bit of change from pockets,
and zip, I'm through. Rushing to my boarding area I note that I
have spent nearly three hours going through this drill and my plane
is about to board. But frazzled, I have time for a beer.

this thought occurs to me: if, and I say here in capital letters,
IF, there were any real terrorists out there who are not CIA plants,
and if they wanted to bring the USA to a virtual halt, there would
be no need whatsoever to get explosives or weapons on to an aircraft.
Not at all. Suppose a suicide bomber, or a mind-controlled slave,
came into the international check-in area of LAX with two large
suitcases packed solid with explosives surrounded by small metal
bits, giant Claymore mines, and when in the midst of all those thousands
of people queueing up, detonated them.

mean, how could air transport occur if a person couldn't even take
their bags into a terminal? What a waste all this illusion of security
is making! If a half-assed writer from Tasmania can think up such
atrocities over a beer, what could someone dedicated to creating
chaos come up with?

these things aren't happening, maybe despite DU and all the other
atrocities committed by the criminals in Washington, D.C., maybe
there aren't any real terrorists out there.

a mind spinning with thoughts like this, I got on the Qantas jet
and I confess, that the moment the cabin crew closed the hatch,
a palpable sense of relief went through me, as though somehow the
crew had created a bit of magic, made the plane into Australian
national territory while still on the ground at LAX. I was on my
way home.

I made a vow: I would not return to the USA until there had been
a genuine regime change, and by that I did not mean the Democratic

3, 2005

Solomon [send him
] sold an Oregon mail order vegetable seed business in 1986
and retired – at the age of 44. He writes how-to-veggie-garden
books, pilots sport aircraft, grows most of his family’s food and
lives on the island of Tasmania, the smallest and least populous
state in Australia.

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