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to the movies was something Casey and I enjoyed doing together.
He was a theater-arts major in college, and he went with a critical
eye. Since I love sharing my children’s passions with them, Casey
and I would go to the movie theater often.

saw two movies the last time he was home at Christmas 2003 before
he was sent to Iraq. We saw the last installment of the Lord
of the Rings
trilogy and the live-action Peter
. I still have the ticket stub for that movie in my wallet.
We got to the theater a little late, so we had to sit up front with
the moms and dads and their small children. I commented to Casey
that it looked like we were the only “grown ups” interested in the
movie. The small children were cute to watch as they enjoyed the
movie, and Casey and I got quite a few chuckles from them too.

Ash Wednesday 2004, a few days before Casey left for Iraq, his dad
and I went to see The
Passion of the Christ
. That was our Ash Wednesday penance
that year. During the scourging scene, I quietly sobbed. I was especially
touched by the actress who played Jesus’ Mom, who followed her son
while he was being tortured and killed by devious men with an evil
agenda. Of course, since I became a mom more than 26 years ago,
I have identified with Mary as she sobbed at the foot of her son's
cross and cradled his lifeless body in her arms.

am recounting all this because since Casey was killed in Iraq by
devious men with evil agendas, I find it extremely difficult to
go to the movies. Yesterday, I went to the same movie theater in
Vacaville, CA, that Casey and I loved to attend. My sister and I
saw the movie Serenity. It was a good science-fiction flick,
entertaining and with many parallels with what is going on in our
world today. But that is not what most affected me about yesterday’s
movie-going experience.

of all, it breaks my heart to be in the theater that Casey and I
went to so often. While we were waiting for the movie to start,
the interminable previews started. Then a preview for the movie
Jarheads came on. My sister quickly said; “Close your eyes.”
Well, I already had them closed, but what I heard was tough enough.
I heard a flight attendant tell a planeload of Marines “Good luck,
now” as they got off, I am assuming in Kuwait. I wondered if a smiling
flight attendant said the same thing to Casey as he got off in Kuwait.
I will never know. I can’t ask him and he didn’t tell me in the
one phone call I received from him before he was killed five days
after he arrived in Baghdad.

that did it for me. I couldn’t stop sobbing for 20 minutes after
that preview. I tried to do it quietly as to not disturb the other
moviegoers. I wonder how many other theater patrons have been so
affected by the preview for Jarheads?

forbid anyone get too disturbed over the devastation and needless
death and suffering in Iraq. God forbid that the media tell us that
32 of our young people have been slaughtered in Iraq so far in October.
God forbid that we have to think about the hundreds of faceless
and nameless Iraqis who have been needlessly killed, too, just performing
day-to-day tasks.

forbid that anyone be held accountable for the mayhem in the Mideast.
God forbid that a mother speak from her heart about the lies and
betrayals of George and the gang, even though that makes some war
supporters uncomfortable.

War Department lists 1963 confirmed dead and 2 pending confirmation
for a total of 1965. Thirty-five more of our children to go before
the grisly number of 2000 is reached. 2000 will be the wake up call
for some Americans…but whatever number Casey was, it was a wake
up call for me, a violent and tragic wake-up call. Casey was not
a number and the 2000th will not be a number to his or
her family. Casey was a wonderful young man who loved to go to the
movies with his mom. What will number 2000 be like? What will be
his/her passion be, that will be snuffed out with the heartbeat?
Which mom in America will be the next one to fall on the floor screaming
for her baby, killed for nothing?

probably few Americans sobbed when they saw the preview for Jarhead
and few went straight to place fresh flowers on their son’s
premature grave after their movie outing.

I did. God forbid that I am angry and God forbid that I want someone
to be held accountable for George’s war of choice, which has stolen
so much from almost 2000 families.

14, 2005

Sheehan [send her mail]
is the mother of Spc.
Casey Austin Sheehan, KIA 04/04/04
She is co-founder of Gold
Star Families for Peace
. She is the author of Not
One More Mother’s Child
and Dear
President Bush

Sheehan Archives

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