A Spaced-Out Democracy Vision

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Even
some of President George W. Bush’s most enthusiastic conservative
Republican supporters have expressed a sense of alarm over the grandiose
and expansive vision of America’s mission in the world – "support(ing)
the growth of democratic movements and institutions in every nation
and culture, with the ultimate goal of ending tyranny in our world"
– promoted in his second Inaugural Address and again in his
State of the Union address.

"Mission
inebriation" is the way Peggy Noonan, former Reagan speechwriter
and an admirer of the current president described his pledge to
rid the world of tyrants and transform it into a heaven for democracy.
Some among members of the realist school of foreign policy school
of thought charged that President Bush’s sweeping view of America’s
role in the world mirrors the idealist missionary agenda of President
Woodrow Wilson.

But
President Wilson in his famous words only wanted "to make the world
safe for democracy." President Bush’s is much more ambitious. He
wants to make the entire world democratic, now and forever, 24/7.
And not just the world.

Indeed,
sometime in the future, Ms. Noonan and her distressed conservative
colleagues would probably recall with a certain sense of nostalgia
the good old days when Americans were crusading for democracy only
in Mesopotamia and the Greater Middle East, China, Nepal.

That
was then, that was World War IV. As President Bush declared in his
Inaugural Address, "eventually, the call of freedom comes to
every mind and every soul." Ideals of justice and conduct "that
are the same yesterday, today, and forever. 24/7." Today the
world, tomorrow the Solar System. After all, isn’t that what President
Bush meant when he expressed his commitment to spread freedom to
"dark places?"

Didn’t
he have in mind Titan, Saturn’s largest moon? It not only bears
the largest resemblance to Planet Earth’s physical features among
all other celestial bodies of the Solar System. But as you’ve seen
those amazing images transmitted by the European probe of Titan,
the color of its surface is orange. Orange? Like in the "Orange
Revolution" that helped topple that Red-Brown dictatorship
in Ukraine. Just a coincidence?

Well,
"coincidences" only happen in the Reality Based Communities of Washington’s
political and cultural elites, not in President Bush’s Faith Based
Communities. The surface of Titan is covered with ice boulders and
President Bush in his address talked about "a fire" which "warms
those who feel its power, it burns those who fight its progress,
and one day this untamed fire of freedom will reach the darkest
corners" – including to that icy surface of Titan.

Exporting
democracy to the Solar System is of course a task of one generation
or two or three, not unlike the civil rights struggle in the South.
Condoleezza Rice has challenged those who have expressed skepticism
about exporting democracy to Arabs in the Middle East, by noting
that there was a time when some Americans had wanted to deny liberty
and freedom to blacks in America.

And
as Paul Wolfowitz has bashed those Americans who doubt that Muslims
are ready for democracy, recalling that once upon a time the same
non-believers didn’t accept the idea that East Asians were ready
for free elections. It’s not surprising that these same cynics are
not ready for what is inevitable and pre-determined by Spirit of
the Age: Freedom to the Greenmen – and Greenwomen – in Titan.

It’s
true that scientists in Nasa have rejected the notion that there
is life on Titan. But as Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld has
suggested, it’s time we need fresh, out-of-the-box thinking about
the life in our Solar System.

That
Huygens hasn’t come across extra-terrestrial beings on Saturn’s
moon, doesn’t mean that they don’t exist there. Moreover, Huygens’
mission was planned by a European agency, mostly Old Europe types,
you know, French and Germans who are actually from Venus. And Nasa
is too much under the influence of bureaucratic inertia and resistant
to change and new ideas. All of that explains why Mr. Rumsfeld,
according to an article in the New Yorker by investigative reporter
Seymour Hersh, has ordered his aide Douglas Feith to establish a
"mini-Nasa" inside the Pentagon, a unit whose code name
is Star Balls to try to make contact with primary microorganisms
in Titan.

According
to Mr. Hersh, a preliminary report issued by the ST unit concluded
that "Titan’s conditions are not hellish in comparison with other
celestial bodies of the Solar system." Some Earthlings have questioned
the galactical appeal of liberty. And the fainthearted would probably
raise the question: Why start with Titan when there is so much hunger
for freedom in so many other dark places in the Solar System?

The
fact is that in the case of Titan, national interests mesh with
the democratic ideals. Indeed, there are clear evidence – revealed
by Feith’s SB Unit – that most of Saddam Hussein’s missing
weapons of mass destruction (WMD) are buried in those systems of
canals that we have seen in the images from Titan.

There
are some indications that French scientists working in the European
space agency have destroyed data transmitted by Huygens from Titan
which confirmed the existence there of aluminum tubes that Iraq
acquired in the past to develop nuclear weapons. The links between
Iraq, Al Quaida and certain groups on Titan has also been uncovered
by the renowned Middle East expert Laurie Mylroie, who in a soon-to-be-published
book: Saddam Hussein and Darth Vader: The Plot Against America
exposes the secret ties between the two galactical despots and their
plans to sell thousands of lightsabers equipped with chemical weapons
to Osama Bin Ladin.

Moreover,
Vice President Dick Cheney has highlighted in several of his recent
addresses the allegations that 9/11 perpetrator Mohammad Atta met
in early 2001 with close associates Hussein and Vader in the Star
Wars Bar Chisenau, the capital city of Moldova.

According
to that information that apparently was supplied by the head of
the Moldovan secret service to two leading FBI agents, Fox Mulder
and Dana Scully, Atta had actually applied to Nasa to train as an
astronaut and "fly to Titan without returning to earth." Mmm…

Moldovan
officials have denied the report, which was also circulated by New
York Times columnist Bill Safire, and noted that it was first mentioned
in Fox Television’s science fiction series, The X-Files.

Asked
to comment, Vice President Cheney replied that "well, we still believe
that the meeting took place. The report wasn’t disconfirmed in its
entirety."

And
President Bush in a recent press conference stressed that he only
watches news on Fox Television, "and I believe what is reported
on the X-Files than on 60 Minutes. Hee-hee.. hee."

"We
on earth will never be free, as long as one greenman on Titan lives
under tyranny," Bush declared. And added that "as astronauter Louis
Armstrong once said, It’s a small man for the moon, and a giant – whatever. Well, it’s all about freedom."

February
10, 2005

Leon
Hadar [send him mail] is
Washington correspondent for the Business
Times of Singapore
. Reprinted with permission of the author.

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