Three cheers for our Great Leader Bush! He has been redeemed! Iraq is free! Killing those Iraqi’s and their children as well as sacrificing your fathers, mothers, sons, and daughters was worth it! Hooray!
The evil dictator Saddam Hussein was captured and his evil sons are dead! Hooray!
Ding Dong! The Witch is dead. Which old Witch? The Wicked Witch! Ding Dong! The Wicked Witch is dead. Wake up — sleepy head, rub your eyes, get out of bed. Wake up, the Wicked Witch is dead. She’s gone where the goblins go, Below — below — below. Yo-ho, let’s open up and sing and ring the bells out. Ding Dong’ the merry-oh, sing it high, sing it low. Let them know the Wicked Witch is dead!
There are no WMD’s in Iraq anymore! We have made absolutely sure of that! Iraq is no longer a threat to our safety! Hooray!
Somewhere over the rainbow Way up high There’s a place that I heard of Once in a lullabye
Somewhere over the rainbow Skies are blue And the dream that you dare to dream Really does come true
One day I wish upon a star Wake up where the clouds are far behind me Where troubles melt like lemondrops Way upon the chimney tops That’s where you’ll find me
Somewhere over the rainbow Blue birds fly Birds fly over the rainbow Why, oh why can’t I?
And our glorious National Guard are over there protecting American freedom in foreign countries!
Things are going so well in Iraq we are now deploying mostly women! Hooray!
Come out, come out, wherever you are and meet the young lady, who fell from a star. She fell from the sky, she fell very far and Kansas, she says, is the name of the star. Kansas, she says, is the name of the star. She brings you good news. Or haven’t you heard? When she fell out of Kansas
And things in Iraq are getting better so our Glorious Crusaders get to stay in Iraq longer!
In fact, Bush will just let them stay! They even get to construct their own tin man plating! Hooray!
Ha-ha-ha Ho-ho-ho And a couple of tra-la-las That’s how we laugh the day away In the Merry Old Land of Oz
u2018Bzz-u2018bzz-u2018bzz Chirp, chirp, chirp And a couple of La-di-das. That’s how the crickets crick all day In the Merry Old Land of Oz. We get up at twelve and start to work at one, Take an hour for lunch, and then at two we’re done, Jolly good fun.
Ha-ha-ha! Ho-ho-ho! And a couple of tra-la-las, That’s how we laugh the day away, In the Merry Old Land of Oz. Ha-ha-ha Ho-ho-ho
Pat, pat here, Pat, pat there, And a couple of brand new straws. That’s how we keep you young and fair In the Merry Old Land of Oz.
Rub, rub here, Rub, rub there, And whether you’re tin or brahz That’s how we keep you in repair In the Merry Old Land of Oz.
Ha! Ha! Ha! That’s how we laugh the day away In the Merry Old Land of Oz And a ha-ha-ha Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha In the Merry Old Land of Oz Ha-ha-ha-ho-ho-ho —
Our glorious leaders for freedom have declared that they have broken the back of the Iraqi insurgency! Hooray!
You’re out of the woods You’re out of the dark You’re out of the night Step into the sun
Step into the light Keep straight ahead for The most glor …… ious place On the face Of the earth or the sky
Hold onto your breath Hold onto your heart Hold onto your hope March up to the gate And bid it open —
And a former Saddam Hussein loyalist, Iyad Allawi, is the President! And he is helping us to fight the terrorists in Iraq! Hooray!
We represent the Lullaby League, The Lullaby League, The Lullaby League And in the name of the Lullaby League, We wish to welcome you to Munchkinland We represent the Lollipop Guild, The Lollipop Guild, The Lollipop Guild And in the name of the Lollypop Guild, We wish to welcome you to Muchkinland. We welcome you to Munchkinland Tra la la la la la la From now on you’ll be history. You’ll be hist … You’ll be history. And we will glorify your name. You will be a bust Be a bust … In the Hall of Fame! Tra-la-la-la-la, Tra-la-la, Tra-la-la-la Tra-la-la-la-la-la-
And our genius military leaders and mass media have proclaimed that Iraq is not like Vietnam! And next we will make those Syrians free! And then the Iranians! Freedom for everyone! Hooray!
If I were King of the Forest, Not Queen, not Duke, not Prince. My regal robes of the forest Would be satin, not cotton, not chintz. I’d command each thing, be it fish or fowl, With a woof and a woof, and a royal growl — woof. As I’d click my heel, All the trees would kneel And the mountains bow, And the bulls kowtow, And the sparrow would take wing u2018F — I … u2018f … I … were King.
Each rabbit would show respect to me. The chipmunks genuflect to me. Though my tail would lash, I would show compash For every underling, u2018F — I … u2018f … I … were King — Just King.
And the Great Leader George Bush cannot recall making any mistakes and will get to be your president for four more years! Hooray!
I could while away the hours Conferrin’ with the flowers Consultin’ with the rain And my head, I’d be scratchin’ While my thoughts were busy hatchin’ If I only had a brain. I’d unravel ev’ry riddle For any individ’le In trouble or in pain With the thoughts you’d be thinkin’ You could be another Lincoln, If you only had a brain. Oh, I could tell you why The ocean’s near the shore, I could think of things I never thunk before And then I’d sit and think some more. I would not be just a nuffin’ My head all full of stuffin’ My heart all full of pain. I would dance and be merry Life would be a ding-a-derry If I only had a brain — Whoa!
And thanks to the deaths and sacrifices of our American heroes fighting for American freedom in another land, the Iraqis will have elections and they are on the road to democracy! Hooray!
Follow the Yellow Brick Road. Follow the Yellow Brick Road. Follow the Yellow Brick Road. Follow the Yellow Brick Road. We’re off to see the Wizard, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz. You’ll find he is a whiz of a Wiz! If ever a Wiz! there was. If ever oh ever a Wiz! there was The Wizard of Oz is one becoz, Becoz, becoz, becoz, becoz, becoz. Becoz of the wonderful things he does.
And the “head of the snake,” (the new bad guy added to the up-dated script) Zarqawi is about to be captured! Hooray!
Who’s that hiding In the tree top? It’s that rascal The Jitter Bug 
Should you catch him Buzzin’ round you, Just look out for The Jitter Bug Oh, the bees in the breeze And the bats in the trees Have a terrible, horrible buzz But the bees in the breeze And the bats in the trees Couldn’t do what the Jitter Bug does. So be careful Of that rascal Keep away from The Jitter Bug
Well, what a wonderful ending to a real-life fairy tale. But wait! Haven’t we forgotten someone? Yes, we have! Our husbands and wives, mothers and fathers; sons and daughters in Iraq! Since this wonderful fairy tale has gone just like President Bush has said it would — If you are in Iraq and you want to go home, all you have to do is to close your eyes, put your hands together, click your heels twice, and say over and over:
"There’s no place like home, "There’s no place like home, "There’s no place like home, "There’s no place like home…"
*All lyrics from the 1939 classic "Wizard of Oz" featuring Judy Garland, Ray Bolger, Bert Lahr, Jack Haley.
*Original story written by L. Frank Baum (just about 100 years ago).
