The de-facto Declaration of the United states and colonies,
When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one government to violently overthrow another sovereign government, and to assume via the fiat power it enjoys, a world democracy to which Presidential Edict and Congressional Acquiescence entitle it, a perfunctory acknowledgement of the opinions of the media requires that it should declare the causes which impel it to global and total dominance.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men, women, corporations, unions, special interests and protected endangered species are created equal, that they are endowed by the Government with certain conditional Rights, that among these are Graft, Security and the pursuit of Empire. — That to secure these rights, the U.S. Government is instituted among Men, deriving its overwhelming powers from the submissiveness of the governed, —That whenever any other Government or individual becomes a nuisance to its ends, it is the Right of the U.S. Government to tax, regulate and kill with impunity, and to institute new governments and laws, laying their foundations on such principles and organizing their powers in such form, as to the Mighty State shall seem most likely to effect Security and Dependence. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should grow and grow and grow; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that common people are more suited to suffer only evils that are sufferable, than to right themselves by affirming the State to which they owe their livelihood. But when a long train of benevolent government programs, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to elevate society under absolute Compassionate Conservatism, it is their duty, it is their privilege, to obey such Government, and to let down their Guard for their future liberty. — Such has been the pleasant experience of America and its colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to acknowledge their System of Government. The history of the present President of the United States is a history of repeated liberations and consolidations of power, all having in direct object the establishment of absolute Freedom and Democracy over the Earth. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.
He has refused his Assent to the Constitution, the most bothersome obstacle to his Brave New World.
He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, on medical marijuana and on other Issues.
He has refused to veto any Laws for the accommodation of special interest groups.
He has confused us all with Terror Threats unusual, uncertain, and distant from any coherency, for the sole purpose of fatiguing us into compliance with his measures.
He has pestered the Representative Houses repeatedly, for initially opposing with fickle firmness his bold Prescription Drug Subsidy.
He has refused to admit for a long time that the United states is an Empire, allowing him to benevolently enlarge its domain to the benefit of many peoples.
He has endeavoured to prevent the overpopulation of these states; for that purpose sending many of our youth to dispose their surplus lives in foreign lands.
He has emboldened the Department of Justice, by encouraging his Attorney General to circumvent Judiciary powers.
He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone, or in some cases, simply made them irrelevant.
He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to improve our nation, and run the economy.
He has kept among the world, in times of occupation, Standing Armies without the consent of the French or the occupied people.
He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civilizations on the periphery of our Empire.
He has combined with others to subject Iraq to a jurisdiction foreign to its culture and unacknowledged by international laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of benevolent Occupation:
For Quartering large bodies of armed troops among them:
For protecting U.S. troops, by a mock Trial, from punishment for any Collateral Damage which they should commit on the Inhabitants of Iraq:
For managing their Trade with all parts of the world:
For imposing Taxes on them without their Consent:
For depriving them, in all cases, of the hassles of Trial by Jury:
For transporting Enemy Combatants to Guantanamo and Abu Ghraib to be fondled for entertainment purposes:
For abolishing the heinous Ba’athist Regime, establishing therein a Puppet Governing Council, and enlarging its Powers so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule onto the Iraqis:
For taking away their Guns, abolishing their most backwards Mosques, and altering fundamentally their status as living or dead.
For bombing their towns, and declaring themselves invested with Absolute Power, which, as we all know, Liberates Absolutely.
He has aggrandized Government here, by declaring all within his Authority and waging War against Evil.
He has liberated Iraq, freed Afghanistan, burnt our Constitution, and destroyed only the lives of a few million people.
He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty and perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation. But at least he got rid of Saddam.
He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive through Stop Loss Orders to bear Arms against another Country, to become the executioners of their foreign Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.
He has excited domestic patriotism amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our imperial frontiers, the merciful Civilizing Forces, whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished liberation of all ages, sexes and conditions.
In every stage of these Liberations Unpatriotic Detractors have Petitioned for Redress in the most belligerent terms: Their repeated Whining has been answered only by repeated smugness. A President whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Caesar, is fit to be the ruler of a formerly free people.
Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our Middle Eastern brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their populations to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over themselves. We have reminded them of, and, at times, modified, the circumstances of our invasion and settlement there. We have appealed to their native injustice and poverty, and we have conjured them though forceful Liberating Invasion, which, would inevitably interrupt their ability to live. They too have been deaf to the voice of the All Powerful President. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces their Terroristic Rebellion, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Subjects.
We, therefore, the Representatives of the United states of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judgment of the President for his skill in pronouncing the word, "rectitude," do, in the Name, and by the Authority of the good People of the U.S. Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these United colonies, subsidiaries, occupied territories, and states, are, and of Right ought to be utterly Dependent Slaves; that we are Absolved from all Personal Responsibility, and that all political connection between us and the Government of the United State, is and ought to be totally Supreme; and that as Dependent Slaves, we have full Obligation to levy War, condemn Peace, entangle in Alliances, obey Tariffs, and to do all other Acts and Things which Dependent Slaves must do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of our divine President, we emphatically pledge to him our Lives, our Fortunes and our unqualified Allegiance.
Anthony Gregory [send him mail] is a writer and musician who lives in Berkeley, California. He earned his bachelor’s degree in history at UC Berkeley, where he was president of the Cal Libertarians. He is an intern at the Independent Institute and has written for Rational Review, Strike the Root, the Libertarian Enterprise, and Antiwar.com. See his webpage for more articles and personal information.