Government Employees, Go Home!

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has become crystal clear to me that government solutions only cause
costly monetary burdens, extravagant misuse of time, and excessive
bureaucratic complications. It is high time for all the bureaucrats
to just go home. Retire. Forget your foolish social experiment.
Abandon your lunatic cravings to mold mankind and exact revenge
on your dead father for years of abuse, or whatever other ill caused
you to commit so much devastation.

am sick of our boys dying for ill-conceived delusions and illusions.
Must we always send America's young off to war? Haven't we seen
the destruction, pain, and suffering it causes? At least enough
to know better?

am tired of the taxman stealing the rightfully earned wages of honest
laborers. In most cases, mutually beneficial exchange can occur
without government intervention. If you are an executive on Ron
Brown's Commerce Department Airline, I am sorry, you'll have to
take the next trip alone. But, you know, you'll probably be better
off that way anyway.

am sick of bureaucrats wasting billions and billions of dollars
away on boondoggles and absurd social experimentation. Must I repeat
a long history of government inefficiency? Remember the federal
government tea tasters? Now, remember how well we got along when
the government shut down for those precious six days in November
during the Clinton administration? November 14–20, 1995, best
days of my life. The IRS lost $400 million in revenue for the days
the enforcement division were closed. My condolences to the National
Park visitors who were turned away.

am tired of politicians having free reign over our hard-earned money.
Representative u2018Patches' Kennedy recently remarked that he had never
worked a [expletive deleted] day in his life, and yet these are
the guys we continuously send to Congress.

am sick of the US Government throwing money and muscle around the
world as if we ruled supreme and American blood was better than
Lapazian blood.

am tired of being pulled over by the police for "being in the
neighborhood" or "looking out of place," and then
being let on my way as if they were doing me a favor.

am sick of the Federal Reserve destroying the purchasing power of
the American people and padding the coffers of an elite few. Mr.
Greenspan is no savior, he's been bought and paid for by Uncle Sam.
Lock, stock, and barrel. Alan, what happened to Gold? Maybe you
should have stuck to the clarinet.

am tired of an inflated mortgage market sapping funds from original
development. I hope and pray we don't see a crash.

am sick of bureaucratic meddling in education depriving the youth
of today a quality education and an analytic mind. Teachers would
see an increase in pay and a deserved increase in status and respect
once subsidies and inefficient administration wither away.

am tired of mercantilist and socialist policy passing for free trade
in this country, the land of the free, and home of the brave. Why
won't steel users rise up and complain about the unfair trade practices
of our federal government?

am sick of judges interfering with the lives of ordinary citizens
attempting to legislate morality. We must devise a system where
the most honest and fair are placed in positions to adjudicate disputes
and uphold justice.

am tired of hidden taxes on almost every transaction I partake in.
Gasoline, rent, telephone, Internet, food, clothing, utilities etc.
I know a guy down the street always trying to get 25% of anyone's
action, sure, he'll help you here and there, but, sooner or later
he demands 35%, and that it is when you punch him in the nose. Now
it is time to end the theft once and for all.

am sick of dilapidated public land and parks. Optimal preservation
is obtained through an individual’s sole ownership and responsibility.
Compare parks in New York City.

am tired of this country being unable to solve the democratic-republican
problem of how to endow one man with immense power without it ending
in the destruction of resources, and the erosion of our collective
living standard.

am sick of consumer demand being left unsatisfied because of restrictions
on innovation, creativity, and prohibited markets. Let us be free
to create our own world around us. A wise general from New Hampshire
once said; live free or die, death is not the worst of evils.

am tired of qualified people unable to work and provide a needed
service without jumping through unnecessary barriers to entry. I
think I am qualified to judge the aptness of someone about to cut
my own hair. Furthermore, why can't Bill Gates teach technology
in public schools?

am sick of government intervention in the media, distorting the
news and spinning any relevance into oblivion. Turn off your television.

am tired of government intervention in communications. If I see
any legislation dealing with Internet taxation, I am warning you
all, that will be the end.

short, I am sick and tired of well-intentioned bureaucrats. Sick
and tired of departments in the US government the size of major
corporations, with actual stockholder oversight and accountability,
who actually have to reconcile with paying customers to make a dollar.
Please spare us all your good intentions. Save us from your endless
meddling. Your waste and inefficiency. It is high time for you all
to meet the market.

don't fret, I do believe that we will need and desire many of the
services that are provided by the government. I would just like
them opened up to competition. Individuals on the market will determine
the price and quantity demanded as the evenly-rotating economy dictates.
To turn a familiar phrase, instead of kings:

President, but President Jesus.

any bureaucrat feels bound to email me and complain on behalf of
their selfless and courageous exploits, don't bother. I've heard
it all before. And many of your fellow federal employees have spent
countless hours recounting the pointless, useless exploits of administrators
on the public dole. So I won't have any of it. Just pack up. Refuse
any compensation, and find your passion in life.

you really care about what you are doing, find the same job in the
private sector like the rest of us. It would make a lot of economic
sense. Just don't bully us into providing you with a paycheck and
a cozy retirement. It is time to limit our consumption of USG. The
free state project is right in our own backyard.

12, 2003

Ptak [send him mail] is Managing
Editor of Aubrey Herbert's
Economic Education


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